Top 100 Fielding's Quotes
#1. Fielding's research group suggests that rapid weight lifting as opposed to the slow mode of traditional lifting may help maintain fast-twitch muscle power with age.
Men's Health
#2. The writer I feel the most affinity with - you said you felt my books are 19th century novels, I think they're 18th century novels - is Fielding, Henry Fielding, he's the guy who does it for me.
Jonathan Coe
#3. Went to Jude's party tonight in a tight little black dress to show off figure feeling v. full of myself ...
... There's nothing worse than people telling you you looked tired. They might as well have done with it and say you look like five kinds of shit.
Helen Fielding
#4. When someone loves you it's like having a blanket all round your heart ...
Helen Fielding
#5. Valentine's Day purely commercial, cynical enterprise, anyway. Matter of supreme indifference to me.
Helen Fielding
#6. A wonder lasts but nine days, and then the puppy's eyes are open.
Henry Fielding
#7. We've been texting for weeks. Surely it's rather like in Jane Austen's day when they did letter-writing for months and months and then just, like, immediately got married?'
'Bridget. Sleeping with a twenty-nine-year-old off Twitter on the second date is not "rather like Jane Austen's day".
Helen Fielding
#8. Don't you d-dare say you're ugly or stupid or worthless. Don't you dare! Y-you're a giant because an ordinary man's body is t-too small for what you are.
Kim Fielding
#9. I always say what's on my mind. No need to second guess with me.
Joy Fielding
#10. My mum and dad are both really funny. My granddad's really funny, my uncle's really funny, everyone's really funny. You have to be quick, otherwise you get roasted. Everyone takes the piss quite a lot. You have to be really sharp.
Noel Fielding
#11. What's your unfinished business ?"
"I wanted to matter
Kim Fielding
#12. Then there's Johnny Pesky, hit me countless number of ground balls and improved my fielding so much.
Wade Boggs
#13. Some people think family's about DNA, but it ain't. It's about the folks who want you, who stick with you no matter what. They know your secrets and flaws, and you know theirs, and you love each other anyway.
Kim Fielding
#14. Oh God. valentine's Day tomorrow. Why? Why? Why is (the) entire world geared to make people not involved in romance feel stupid when everyone knows romance does not work anyway. Look at (the) royal family. Look at Mum and Dad.
Helen Fielding
#15. I know we're all psychotic, single and completely dysfunctional and it's all done over the phone,' Tom slurred sentimentally, 'but it's a bit like a family, isn't it?
Helen Fielding
#17. Can officially confirm that the way to a man's heart these days is not through beauty, food, sex, or alluringness of character, but merely the ability to seem not very interested in him.
Helen Fielding
#18. Oh, darling, you can't go around with that tatty green canvas thing. You look like some sort of Mary Poppins person who's fallen on hard times.
Helen Fielding
#19. When you're quite young, your imagination's quite free.
Noel Fielding
#20. I never did that badly with women when I wasn't on telly, but it's a bit out of control now. Women try it on with me more than I'm comfortable with. It's strange, because I think I look like a troll wearing a woman's wig backwards.
Noel Fielding
#21. The whole bloody world's got a commitment problem.
It's the three-minute culture. It's a global attention-span deficit.
Helen Fielding
#22. It seemed to him that no matter what evils a man had committed, making him suffer purely for the sake of suffering was pointless. It didn't undo the harm he had wrought; it didn't please anyone or improve anyone's life.
Kim Fielding
#23. It's rather fun writing a female spy, because she has so much more kit. Bond never carried a hair dryer or a makeup bag. And he certainly didn't wear an uplift bra.
Helen Fielding
#24. When I was a really young child, I felt like I could see fairies. I was convinced there were fairies in my grandmother's garden.
Noel Fielding
#25. You only get one life. I've just made a decision to change things a bit and spend what's left of mine looking after me for a change.
Helen Fielding
#26. I began to think I quite liked her really. It's always so nice to meet someone more badly behaved than oneself.
Helen Fielding
#27. You can imagine anything you want in the dark. You can imagine your father loves you, you can imagine your mother is not disappointed, you can imagine that you are...significant. That you mean somethin' to someone. That's all I ever wanted, Fielding. To matter. That is all I've ever wanted.
Tiffany McDaniel
#28. Thank you, Daniel, that is very good to know. But if staying here means working within 10 yards of you, frankly, I'd rather have a job wiping Saddam Hussein's arse.
Helen Fielding
#29. One must not live one's life through men but must be complete on oneself as a woman of substance.
Helen Fielding
#30. However, on glimpsing in shop window realized outfit insane. Now am on bus, remember also that corset-ike nature of dress is torture when sitting down. One's rolls of fat are squezzed together like dough being kneaded in a food processor.
Helen Fielding
#31. When you're a kid and someone's an artist, you think of Leonardo da Vinci. You don't think that's a job; you just think of a man with a beard painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.
Noel Fielding
#32. Am going to cook shepherd's pie for them all - British home cooking.
Helen Fielding
#33. It's all chop-change chop-change with you. Either go out with me and treat me nicely, or leave me alone. As I say, I am not interested in fuckwittage.
Helen Fielding
#34. Wishes were like poison, Jimmy thought. When you made them, they were all bright and shiny, sweet as candy. But they lingered and languished and didn't come true, and so they curdled and went bad. Became toxic. That's why he never made them to begin with.
Kim Fielding
#35. Playing third base, you rarely have time to get into a great fielding position. It's all about reaction.
Morgan Ensberg
#36. I'm gay!" Ben said, kind of loudly. That announcement momentarily derailed Austin's maturity-seeking train. "Really, dude? 'Cause you don't ping my gaydar even a little. Are you sure?
Kim Fielding
#37. What a silly fellow must he be who would do the devil's work for free.
Henry Fielding
#38. Oh, God, I'm so lonely. An entire weekend streching ahead with no one to love or have fun with. Anyway, I don't care. I've got a lovely steamed ginger pudding from M&S to put in the microwave.
Helen Fielding
#39. It's very difficult once you've been on telly because people know what you do. They give you a little bit of grace but then they're harsher if you're not funny, so you have to be funny.
Noel Fielding
#40. Despite their exhaustion and worries, Miner and Ennek made love that night, tracing fingers and tongues over one another's marks and scars. Their bodies were like books, Ennek thought, and their stories could be read inch by inch. He hoped fervently for happy endings.
Kim Fielding
#41. The supposition that it was possible for any woman to be so mean-spirited as not at least to wish to tear out her rival's eyes was too hard for the digestion of the Cry.
Sarah Fielding
#42. I like L.A. It's like a mini break. For a writer, it's hilarious. Like the food. Where I come from, we eat chip sandwiches: white bread, butter, tomato catsup and big fat french fries. It's delicious. Here, you order a creme caramel and the waiter says, 'You know, that contains dairy.'
Helen Fielding
#43. It's impossible to be unhappy while wearing a poncho!
Noel Fielding
#44. And, you know, you try and preach to them there's more to this game than just walking up to home plate, swinging the bat, fielding a ground ball. There's some dedication in it, some love you've got to put into this work.
Eddie Murray
#45. The excellence of the mental entertainment consists less in the subject than in the author's skill in well dressing it up.
Henry Fielding
#46. Bridget. Sleeping with a twenty-nine year old off Twitter on the second date is not 'rather like in Jane Austen's day'. (Talitha)
Helen Fielding
#47. Bobby Brown reminds me of a fellow who's been hitting for 12 years and fielding one.
Casey Stengel
#48. Call me old-fashioned, but I did read in Glamour that one's shorts should always be longer than one's vagina.
Helen Fielding
#49. It has been truthfully said that organic evolution is Satan's chief weapon in this dispensation in his attempt to destroy the divine mission of Jesus Christ.
Joseph Fielding Smith
#50. A woman has her needs. What good is a mother to her poor children if she's suffering from low self-esteem and sexual frustration? If you don't get laid soon, you will literally close up. More importantly, you will shrivel. And you will become bitter.
Helen Fielding
#51. When I was 14, I saw someone getting their face and wrists slashed with a knife in a pub in Catford. Nobody lifted a finger. That's when I realised that violence wasn't funny. At all.
Noel Fielding
#52. When he's hot, he's hot; when he's not, he's not. But at least there is always food
Helen Fielding
#53. There's not enough psychedelic stuff on TV. I want the world to be a bit weirder than it is. I hate reality, so I hate reality TV. But I love Columbo.
Noel Fielding
#54. Being afraid, being uncertain you'll succeed, but going ahead anyway - that's what makes a hero, Berhanu.
Kim Fielding
#55. But Mama told me it's not the color of a person's uniform that makes him a good man or a bad one. It's what's in here.
Kim Fielding
#56. Oh God, what's wrong with me? Why does nothing ever work out?
Helen Fielding
#57. 'Didn't realize Matty was so scary,' Chris said.
'She's maybe five two and can't make it up a flight of stairs without huffing and puffing. But if I really pissed her off, she might poison my coffee.'
'Sounds like someone I'd like to meet.'
Kim Fielding
#58. Now doctors access patient messages via a mobile or Web application, and the message automatically becomes part of a conversation. Under the new system, the whole care team is aware of what is happening, and the doctor has the patient's history available when fielding questions.
Anonymous
#59. I don't think there's any way you can worry about how many errors or how many bad plays you've made. You can get into a fielding funk just as quick as you can hitting.
Marcus Giles
#60. 'It's not you, it's me.'
'Oh God. That's exactly what my last three boyfriends said when they dumped me. Is it in the Y-Chromosome User's Manual or something?'
He grinned. 'On page five. But, you know, don't tell anyone I told you.'
Kim Fielding
#61. The nation's young men have
been proved by surveys to be completely unmarriageable, and as a result there's a whole
generation of single girls like me with their own incomes and homes who have lots of fun and
don't need to wash anyone else's socks.
Helen Fielding
#62. Things are different in the fantasy world
Towels are different in the fantasy world
Shows are different in the fantasy world
Dancing's different in the fantasy world
Unicorns No, they're the same
Everything's different in the fantasy world
Noel Fielding
#63. Science teachers and the mentally ill, that's all Jazz is for.
Noel Fielding
#64. It struck me as pretty ridiculous to be called Mr. Darcy and to stand on your own looking snooty at a party. It's like being called Heathcliff and insisting on spending the entire evening in the garden, shouting "Cathy" and banging your head against a tree.
Helen Fielding
#65. But look, you did not have to be well versed in politics to know that some stupid things were going on. It is the counsel's job to stop them, and instead the coverup was created.
Fred F. Fielding
#66. Yet if strict criticism should till frown on our method, let candor and good humor forgive what is done to the best of our judgment, for the sake of perspicuity in the story and the delight and entertainment of our candid reader.
Sarah Fielding
#67. I fancied I had some constancy of mind because I could bear my own sufferings, but found through the sufferings of others I could be weakened like a child.
Sarah Fielding
#68. The elegant Lord Shaftesbury somewhere objects to telling too much truth: by which it may be fairly inferred, that, in some cases, to lie is not only excusable but commendable. And
Henry Fielding
#69. But in all things whether we shall make only a due use of the liberties we have asked, is left entirely to the judicious reader to decide.
Sarah Fielding
#70. When mighty roast beef was the Englishman's food It ennobled our hearts and enriched our blood
Our soldiers were brave and our courtiers were good. Oh! the roast beef of England. And Old England's roast beef.
Henry Fielding
#71. But the thing about having kids is: you can't go to pieces; you just have to keep going.
Helen Fielding
#73. A rich man without charity is a rogue; and perhaps it would be no difficult matter to prove that he is also a fool.
Henry Fielding
#74. What is commonly called love, namely the desire of satisfying a voracious appetite with a certain quantity of delicate white human flesh.
Henry Fielding
#75. The hounds all join in glorious cry, / The huntsman winds his horn: / And a-hunting we will go.
Henry Fielding
#76. You're the one who can do no wrong." "I do plenty wrong." "You don't have to tell me.
Joy Fielding
#77. I had some short struggle in my mind whether I should resign my lover or my liberty, but this lasted not long. I found myself as free as air and could not bear the thought of putting myself in any man's power for life only from a present capricious inclination.
Sarah Fielding
#78. It is hard for people outside the White House to understand the constant daily problems and issues that come up that require the president's attention, but he can not let himself get too personally involved.
Fred F. Fielding
#79. Florida was a living tomb, she used to tell anyone who'd listen, an old-age home in the shape of a state, God's little waiting room, as she was fond of quoting.
Joy Fielding
#80. There's always people who think they have the right to decide who other people are supposed to be.
Kim Fielding
#81. Each of us, deep down, believes that the whole world issues from his own precious body, like images projected from a tiny slide onto an earth-sized screen. And then, deeper down, each of us knows he's wrong.
Chad Harbach
#82. Just ... in ... a meeting! How could I be in a meeting, and yet talking on the phone saying I'm in a meeting? People's assistants are meant to say they're in a meeting, not the person themself, who is supposed to be unable to say anything because they're in the meeting.
Helen Fielding
#83. I believe no gentleman would like to have his family affairs neglected because his wife was filling her head with crotchets and pothooks, and who, because she understood a few scraps of Latin, valued that more than minding her needle or providing her husband's dinner.
Sarah Fielding
#85. Women today are bombarded with so many messages, like we should have Naomi Campbell's body and Madeleine Albright's career.
Helen Fielding
#86. Love may be likened to a disease in this respect, that when it is denied a vent in one part, it will certainly break out in another; hence what a woman's lips often conceal, her eyes, her blushes, and many little involuntary actions betray.
Henry Fielding
#87. There's something amazing about tea. It's good before a meal, after a meal, when drunk, when taking drugs, while playing football and after being called a poof in the street.
Noel Fielding
#88. I know I'm the world's worst fielder, but who gets paid for fielding? There isn't a great fielder in baseball getting the kind of dough I get paid for hitting.
Dick Stuart
#89. That's the authentic punk dance. It's like a child dizzy on lemonade.
Noel Fielding
#90. There was a big age difference between me and my brothers - about 10 years - so I was an only child for a long time. I used to hang out a lot on my own. I played a lot of weird games with a lot of imaginary people. I guess it's kind of roleplaying ...
Noel Fielding
#91. I find it depressing that people think you have to be on drugs to watch [my stuff], that's a cop out, use your brain, use your imagination.
Noel Fielding
#92. Come on, let's get you a drink. How's your love life, anyway?
Oh God. Why can't married people understand that this is no longer a polite question to ask? We wouldn't rush up to them and roar, How's your marriage going? Still have sex?
Helen Fielding
#93. There are so many images pushed at women and so many ideas of what you're supposed to be. I think there's too much of this superwoman, this woman with a bottom like two billiard balls. There's no real celebration of just being a person.
Helen Fielding
#94. I'm writing exactly the kinds of books I like to write. And they're the kinds of books I like to read. They're popular commercial fiction. That's what they are.
Joy Fielding
#95. I visited a friend in Leicester recently. It was 4am and we all ran around in a circle, six of us. It's the most fun I've had since i was seven. And I thought: it's not about drink, or drugs, or fancy clubs. It's about running around in your socks, changing direction in a front room in Leicester.
Noel Fielding
#96. The point is that we have no control. The point is that there are no guarantees, that we never know what's going to happen in life, but we can't give up. The point is that, fallible as we all are, we have to keep trying, we have to keep reaching out to others.
Joy Fielding
#97. I mean, I haven't rushed to the answerphone once to see if anyone's aware of my existence in the world!
Helen Fielding
#98. And hell, if Shane kept on looking at Jimmy's goddamn dots, he was going to discover that all those pretty colors were an illusion. That Jimmy was made up of nothing but lies and emptiness. "I
Kim Fielding
#99. When you start, it's not to do with the material so much. It's more to do with how you can control a crowd and make friends with an audience and sell your brand of humor.
Noel Fielding
#100. She's a jellyfisher: You have a conversation with her that seems all nice and friendly, then you suddenly feel like you've been stung and you don't know where it came from.
Helen Fielding
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