Top 100 Fallon Quotes
#1. In my line of work every man wears exactly one outfit khakis, a late night with Jimmy Fallon t-shirt, and a hooded sweatshirt. If you don't people think you're a scientologist and no one will eat lunch with you.
Mindy Kaling
#2. I don't like to be me. I'm not so comfortable being me on screen because then I'd be a presenter. I'm not Jimmy Fallon.
Aaron Johnson
#3. Fallon and I were a lot like them. Only I didn't love her, and she didn't love me. I was infatuated with her once - and loved that she let me take my pubescent urges out on her - but we weren't in love.
Penelope Douglas
#4. I feel like a piece of me dies every day I go without you, Fallon.
Toni Aleo
#5. But five years is a long time, Fallon. Who knows what could happen between now and then. Hell, I didn't even have hair on my nuts five years ago. I
Colleen Hoover
#6. When I'm on stage, it's such a spiritual moment that I hope, even when we hit 'Fallon,' you can feel that through the TV. I have this whole horn section that's part of New Power Generation; I have an amazing crew of musicians behind me. It's their energy, too.
Liv Warfield
#7. Do you think I'd even touch you now? You know what I used to call you? Pussy-on-the-Premises. You were convenient when I needed to blow a load, Fallon.
Anonymous
#8. Jimmy Fallon is one of the funniest son of a guns I've ever seen.
Christian Kane
#9. I hope they laugh at you, Fallon. If people are laughing at you, it means you're putting yourself out there to be laughed at. Not enough people have the courage to even take that step.
Colleen Hoover
#10. Fallon affected my body in weird ways. But only because she's different, I told myself.
Penelope Douglas
#11. Two meh minutes of my life I'll never see again." Fallon snorted. "His basement couch had more of a thrill than I did.
Naima Simone
#12. Fallon, we have been dating for two hours now. I can read you like a book, and right now i do believe that book is full of erotica.
Colleen Hoover
#13. Meant to be together? Are you listening to yourself? This isn't one of your fairy tales, Fallon. This is real life, and in the real world you have to bust your ass for the happy ever after!
Colleen Hoover
#14. Whenever I watch the beginning of Jimmy Fallon, I feel like I should sue the Roots for bait and switch.
Andy Kindler
#15. Fallon, I don't care about the book. I don't even want to finish it. All I care about is you. Being with you every day. Seeing you every day. I'm not finished falling in love with you yet. But if you don't want to finish falling in love with me, then you need to tell me right now.
Colleen Hoover
#17. I didn't audition for 'SNL.' I sent in a tape to 'SNL' the year before I started writing there, but I got the job there through doing stand-up on Fallon.
Hannibal Buress
#18. His hand squeezes my waist and he eyes me hard. "Fallon." He says my name like it's an entire lecture in itself.
Colleen Hoover
#20. You gonna make it? Fallon asked Brody, eyeing him. He looked two steps from the grave. Well, if I don't, you guys feel free to eat me. A little meat would do you good. These damn veggies ain't doing shit.
Shandy L. Kurth
#21. Somehow she felt hollow, as though her heart was wrenched away from her. She didn't realize it. She hadn't expected it. She loved Fallon.
Kailin Gow
#22. I don't understand it. Why me?"
"Is there ever an answer to that question when men are involved?"
-Candace and Fallon, Chapter 12
Roz Lee
#23. If we're talking fantasy, I would love to host a late night talk show ... More Fallon than Leno. Those guys always seem like they're having way too much fun at their 'jobs.'
Aaron Sanchez
#24. See, my idea of cute comes with an IQ requirement. It's geeky cute. It's Rivers Cuomo, not Justin Timberlake. It's Gideon Yago, not Brian Mcfayden. Jimmy Fallon, yes please! Brad Pitt, no thank you.
Megan McCafferty
#26. Fallon smiled. 'We said we are going to try. You are declaring love and saying I'm not going anywhere.' Lucas shrugged his shoulders. 'I'm a confident, cocky kinda guy, I know what I want and I will succeed.
Toni Aleo
#27. Fallon rolled her eyes. "How am I going to deal with the rest of my life? I'm pretty damn sure if I don't get laid soon, I'm gonna hump his face!
Toni Aleo
#28. I'll be fine. It's just hard to love somebody who doesn't love you back," Fallon answered.
Marcia Lynn McClure
#29. Be safe, she whispered. Then she closed her eyes and said in a low, broken monotone, I love you.
Kailani
Siobhan Fallon
Siobhan Fallon
#30. Can we just please stop killing shit tonight by flying into it?" I shout, and Sergeant Fallon laughs as she walks off.
Marko Kloos
#31. That's tough. Anything I can do?"
"Just stay in play as my backup."
I nearly swerved the car off the road. "I'm sorry - your backup?"
"You know, in case it doesn't work out with Fallon."
"And what about Ethan?"
Jeff chuckled. "I just figured he was your backup for me.
Chloe Neill
#32. I love Jimmy Fallon; he's always a great time.
Andy Cohen
#33. The next step for me is not 'The Tonight Show.' That's a job for Jimmy Fallon. I'm way too divisive for a show like that.
Chelsea Handler
#34. Lucas too was shoveling pancakes into his mouth. Syrup dripped from the sexy stubble that covered his chin and her mouth watered at the sight. Fallon no longer wanted the syrup that covered her pancakes. More like the syrup from his chin, and lips, or hell just dump it on him!!!
Toni Aleo
#35. Jimmy Fallon and I play regularly at the Bayonne Golf Club in Jersey. He's eighteen holes of fun. Any time we play he has moments of brilliance, but also moments of utter catastrophe.
Mario Batali
#36. Stupid thumb! Stupid boy! Step away Fallon, step away!
Toni Aleo
#37. You know the greatest thing about working on 'Fallon?' I get so many anonymous gifts.
Questlove
#38. NBC's priorities are Jimmy Fallon and Jay Leno, and then there's me.
Carson Daly
#39. Fallon, you're my Achilles Heel. I want to fuck you senseless, until you feel me imprinted on you even when I'm not inside you. But that's all I want - all I can allow myself.
Naima Simone
#40. Hurt me?" he asked. "How would you do that? By taking away everything I love? Everything I honour? You're too late, Hannah. Far too late. Fallon already did that."
Claire's terrible feeling suddenly condensed into a heavy, sickening weight. "He took Jesse," she said. "Fallon took Jesse.
Rachel Caine
#41. What, does he have a sword for a penis? Fallon asked.
Gail McHugh
#42. For those who don't like Dave Letterman, there's Jay Leno; and for those who like neither, there's Craig Ferguson; and if you're still feeling undertained, there's George Lopez and Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel and - let's see, did we leave out a Jimmy?
Tom Shales
#43. I don't have anything against Jimmy Fallon. I love Jimmy Fallon. He's my dude.
Tracy Morgan
#44. Jimmy Fallon is handsome. This is an indisputable fact.
Andy Kindler
#45. Sometimes I'm having conversations with my friends, and I feel like they can't relate to me anymore. I'm like, 'Oh, my God, let me tell you about my experience on 'Fallon'!' And they'll be like, 'Oh, my God, let me tell you about my trip to the mall!' It sometimes feels lonely.
Lilly Singh
#46. I'm the producer of "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon," so I definitely have an exciting day job.
Josh Lieb
#47. Fallon, I'm worked up so damn tight. I'm going to kiss you now and I'm not sorry.
Colleen Hoover
#48. I knew I chose you for a reason." She playfully punched his shoulder. "You chose me? If I remember correctly, Fallon MacLeod - and I always remember correctly - I was the one who picked you. You wanted nothing to do with me.
Donna Grant
#49. I don't want to be your first, Fallon. I want to be your last.
Colleen Hoover
#50. Everybody always asks about Jimmy Fallon. I'm sorry to say that he's very nice and there's not much bad to say about him. I don't know if he sucks at videogames or not. I don't think he plays them, but he could have this whole secret life I don't know about.
Rachel Dratch
#51. Fallon recognized what Logan was doing. Instead of drowning in wine as Fallon had done, Logan teased and joked his way through the day.
Donna Grant
#53. I have loved you since I first laid eyes on you Fallon, and I haven't stopped.
Toni Aleo
#54. Why are they denying it?" Larena laid her head on Fallon's shoulder. "He's denying it. She's just trying to hold herself together in the face of what he's done.
Donna Grant
#55. I look up to Jimmy Fallon. He hosts talk shows as a fan himself, and that's how I do it. When the celebrities come in, I'm excited that they're there. It's not just like a formal, 'Hey, how are ya?' It's like, 'Dude, what the hell! So happy to see you!' That's what Jimmy Fallon does every time.
Vinny Guadagnino
#56. The thing is, Fallon ... I told you before to lock the door if you wanted me to stay out. Funny thing is ... " I leaned in. "You. Never. Did.
Penelope Douglas
#57. Enoch could respond with nothing more than a simple gesture in the orbs' direction. His brain was frozen. He could not think or speak, but the voiceless answer roused Fallon instantly. When he followed Enoch's gaze, a silent curse passed over his lips and then, We're in big trouble.
S.R. Ford
#58. The acting director of the Secret Service, Joseph Clancy, said they may make the fence around the White House taller because of the recent security failures. When asked if he had any other ideas, he said, 'Uh, make the sidewalk lower?'
Jimmy Fallon
#59. Trump is running for president and he's wasting no time getting down to business. In fact, just after his announcement he demanded to see Jeb Bush's birth certificate.
Jimmy Fallon
#60. John McCain responded to critics who say he's too old for a sixth term by saying that his mother is 103 years old and doing well. The crazy thing is that even she is somehow younger than John McCain.
Jimmy Fallon
#61. After facing backlash from customers, Subway says it will remove a chemical in its bread that is also found in yoga mats. Some people were like, 'You mean I've been eating a dangerous chemical?' While most people were like, 'You mean I can eat my yoga mat?'
Jimmy Fallon
#62. The pipeline would run from Canada to the Gulf Coast. It'll be the biggest underground structure leading into the U.S. Then people in Mexico said, 'Eh ... second biggest.'
Jimmy Fallon
#63. We picked the Red Sox because they lose. If you root for something that loses for 86 years, you're a pretty good fan. You don't have to win everything to be a fan of something.
Jimmy Fallon
#64. Over on the Democratic side, Martin O'Malley recently spoke about the need for Wall Street reform and said that he isn't running for president to be quote, 'wined and dined' by executives. Then Chris Christie said, 'And I am also not running to be wined.'
Jimmy Fallon
#65. Ohio Governor John Kasich became the 16th Republican to announce that he is running for president. During his speech he referred to Jesus Christ, which is ironic because so did Americans when they heard another Republican was running for president.
Jimmy Fallon
#66. President Obama is in China now for an economic summit in Beijing. The president wore a traditional purple silk shirt along with Chinese President Xi Jinping and Vladimir Putin. That's after they taught Putin how to put a shirt ON.
Jimmy Fallon
#67. If you're going to do a Chris Christie joke, just say, 'Christie spent $82,000 at a concession stand at MetLife Stadium. Then he turned to his friends and said, 'You guys want anything?' That's a joke. I can't believe it. I caved in. I feel awful.
Jimmy Fallon
#68. Today, President Obama finally met with BP's CEO, Tony Hayward, but the meeting was only scheduled 20 minutes. Call me crazy, but I think it should take more time to discuss an oil spill than it does to get your oil checked.
Jimmy Fallon
#69. In an interview last night, Rick Perry criticized Mitt Romney for flip-flopping on the issues. Romney said that Perry has no idea what he's talking about. Then he added, 'But he does know what he's talking about.'
Jimmy Fallon
#70. Thank you, yard sales, for being the perfect way to say to your neighbors: 'We think we're important enough to charge money for our garbage.'
Jimmy Fallon
#71. I wanted to be a Priest at one point. I was pretty religious. I was an altar boy, and I was good at it. Then, I started meeting girls and I'm like 'You know, maybe I shouldn't be a Priest.'
Jimmy Fallon
#72. In a recent interview, Hillary Clinton said that one of the jobs that prepared her to be president was sliming fish in Alaska. As opposed to Bill, who learned by catching crabs in Cancun.
Jimmy Fallon
#73. Police in Texas arrested a man who was using the alias 'Barack Obama' while trying to steal money from 35 ATMs. They could tell something was up when a guy named Barack Obama was trying to take money from banks instead of giving it to them.
Jimmy Fallon
#74. Bernie Sanders' presidential campaign announced that it raised over $1.5 million in the 24 hours after he announced his bid. Meanwhile, a 12-year-old on Kickstarter just raised $7 million in five minutes after announcing his idea for juice box water guns.
Jimmy Fallon
#75. I got every Dan Shaughnessy book known to man.
Jimmy Fallon
#76. Thank you 'adults who wear back packs' for letting me know that I don't have to take you seriously
Jimmy Fallon
#77. Donald Trump's not backing down. Yesterday he said he doesn't need to be lectured by the other Republican candidates, who he says have no business running for president. Not to be confused with Donald Trump, who ran for president and now has no business.
Jimmy Fallon
#78. I sing in the car if I'm in LA, because you're like soundproofed.
Jimmy Fallon
#79. Thinking about all that - what it means to be happy - I think it overloaded your brain.
Jimmy Fallon
#80. Today President Obama gave a major speech where he defended his handling of the economy. And there were tons of people in the audience, you know, since nobody had to be at work.
Jimmy Fallon
#81. It would've been amazing [to work as programmer]. You're good at numbers, you're good with people, you like to wear shorts in the summertime.
Jimmy Fallon
#83. 'Moldova: Yes or No?' That's a great app, and we actually used the geo-locator on your phone, so if you are in Moldova, it will say 'Yes, you're in Moldova.' I'm so excited. People need that. That's the whole point. The whole reason you buy a $500 phone is to see if you are ... in Moldova. Or not.
Jimmy Fallon
#84. Republican Ted Cruz announced that he will run for president in 2016. So finally, Carnival is no longer the most dangerous cruise in America.
Jimmy Fallon
#85. This week Biden said that he will decide on a potential 2016 presidential campaign by the spring or the summer. Then he said, 'Whichever comes first.'
Jimmy Fallon
#86. Vladimir Putin bribed a soccer official with a Picasso painting so he would support Russia's bid to host the 2018 World Cup. Putin was like, 'It wasn't Picasso, just picture of what his face would look like if he said no.' (Nose over here, eye up here, ear in forehead.)
Jimmy Fallon
#87. Sources say the Obama administration is in the 'final stages' of planning the closing of Guantanamo Bay. The way it's gonna work is, they're going to put a Radio Shack sign out front and let nature take its course.
Jimmy Fallon
#88. My dad used to work at IBM, so we used to get discounts on computers and stuff, and I did have a ThinkPad.
Jimmy Fallon
#89. I like living with myself. I mean obviously, because here I am interviewing myself.
Jimmy Fallon
#90. Here's a little bit of good news. The Coast Guard says that BP is now catching up to 630,000 gallons of oil a day. The bad news is that they're capturing it with ducks.
Jimmy Fallon
#91. During a recent interview, President Obama revealed that his favorite movie this year was 'Boyhood.' It makes sense. If there's one thing Obama can identify with, it's aging several years over the course of a couple of hours.
Jimmy Fallon
#92. A new study found that a mother's diet affects her baby's allergies. Which can only mean one thing: My mom ate cats.
Jimmy Fallon
#93. There couldn't have been a better Hollywood ending for us. It's beyond baseball. It's rooting for your family.
Jimmy Fallon
#94. Officials from the soccer organization FIFA, which decides which cities get to host the World Cup, are accused of accepting bribes when making their decision. Of course the toughest part for the soccer officials was taking bribes without using their hands.
Jimmy Fallon
#95. I actually started writing publishable stuff the day I decided I'd actually like to write something I'd like to read, and stopped trying to think what does everyone actually want.
Jennifer Fallon
#96. Live your life by doing activities that are beneficial
Jimmy Fallon
#97. Many believe that Hillary Clinton was channeling President Obama during her recent speech in New York City. She focused on equality, justice, and how hard it was for her growing up as a young black man in Hawaii.
Jimmy Fallon
#98. I think I have a God complex, and I like moving mountains and writing stories that affect entire worlds, and it's a bit hard to do that in a contemporary setting because you have reality intruding. Whereas, when you set your own reality, you can make up your own rules and do whatever you like.
Jennifer Fallon
#99. The TSA's airport body scanners have been shown to be so ineffective, the Homeland Security chairman suggested using traditional metal detectors. While LaGuardia will continue to just have a scarecrow dressed as a cop.
Jimmy Fallon
#100. New York Governor Andrew Cuomo just signed a bill that bans powdered alcohol from the state. So if you live in New York and you're consuming powdered alcohol, your life just somehow got even worse.
Jimmy Fallon
Famous Authors
Popular Topics
Scroll to Top
