Dilbert Quotes

#1. Dogbert: So, Since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round. Dilbert: Look. You can Ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut. Dogbert: So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians. Dilbert: Yes ... no, wait ...

Scott Adams

#2. I should have written that down.
- Dilbert

Scott Adams

#3. I think Dilbert is actually a radical strip.

Ted Rall

#4. Dogbert to Dilbert
"My invention can detect human stupidity. It has a very simple interface. All I do is point it at people."
"Then what does it do?"
"Why would it need to do anything else?

Scott Adams

#5. I read the Bible when I was 12 while studying for my bar mitzvah. I was also reading a lot of Dilbert comics at the time, and I guess the two kind of got fused in my mind. I've always imagined God as an irrational, distractible boss. It's my best explanation for our planet.

Simon Rich

#6. 'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip.

Scott Adams

#7. The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots.

Scott Adams

#8. Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.

Scott Adams

#9. The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but there isn't much doubt that I'll always be the 'Dilbert guy.' Unless I go on a crime spree, in which case I'll be that stabbin Dilbert guy.

Scott Adams

#10. Dogbert gazing at night sky No matter how bad the day is, the stars are always there. Dilbert Actually, many of them burned out years ago, but their light is just now reaching earth. DogbertThank you for shattering my comfortable misconception. DilbertIt's the miracle of science.

Scott Adams

#11. If the rest of your brain were conscious, it would probably regard you as the pointy-haired boss from Dilbert

Peter Watts

#12. Dogbert: Scientists have discovered the gene that makes some people love golf.
Dilbert: How can they tell it's the golf gene?
Dogbert: It's plaid and it lies.

Scott Adams

#13. Then there's education. Do you know what the unemployment rate is for engineers? It is nearly zero. Do you know how many engineers like their jobs? Most of them do, despite what you read in Dilbert comics.

Scott Adams

#14. Dilbert: You joined the "Flat Earth Society?" Dogbert: I believe the earth must be flat. There is no good evidence to support the so-called "round earth theory." Dilbert: I think Christopher Columbus would disagree. Dogbert: How convenient that your best witness is dead.

Scott Adams

#15. Lately ... the Peter Principle has given way to the "Dilbert Principle." The basic concept of the Dilbert Principle is that the most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.

Scott Adams

#16. I think 'Dilbert' will remain popular as long as employees are frustrated and they fear the consequences of complaining too loudly. 'Dilbert' is the designated voice of discontent for the workplace. I never planned it that way. It just happened.

Scott Adams

#17. I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.

Scott Adams

#18. I'm like a Dilbert cartoon.

David Spade

#19. Some people can only be happy being a star. What happens if and when the work dries up?

Susan Hampshire

#20. Everybody is somebody's else's weirdo

Scott Adams

#21. Live in the precious present.

Rick Pitino

#22. All dancers are creator,and all dancers are creats own world,to produce with music or rythm.

Avani Pagar

#23. Free will is an illusion. Humans are nothing but moist robots.

Scott Adams

#24. History is not a pattern-book of fossilized ideologies.

F. M. Powicke

#25. Differentiation is classroom practice that looks eyeball to eyeball with the reality that kids differ, and the most effective teachers do whatever it takes to hook the whole range of kids on learning.

Carol Ann Tomlinson

#26. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Scott Adams

#27. Your shower is ready - I turned it on last night.

Scott Adams

#28. Reality is always controlled by the people who are the most insane.

Scott Adams

#29. In life, if a door closes, all you need to do is move to the window; as long as your whiskers can clear the space you will move through effortlessly. quote by T.G. the Feline Goddess of Everything and Everyone

R. Rose

#30. A Frenchman may possibly be clean; an Englishman is conscientiously clean.

Ralph Waldo Emerson