Top 100 Degeneres Quotes
#1. The song 'If I Had a Hammer' is geared toward people who don't have a hammer. Maybe before I had a hammer I thought I'd hammer in the morning and hammer in the evening. But once you get a hammer, you find you don't really hammer as much as you thought you would.
Ellen DeGeneres
#2. It's about you putting in the work, practicing every day, and hopefully one day you write the song the whole world wants to get down to. And one day you're going to be sitting next to Ellen DeGeneres talking about how you broke records and rocked the Super Bowl!
Bruno Mars
#3. I've got a lot to say about television. There's a lot going on in television right now and I feel like a huge part of television.
Ellen DeGeneres
#4. My name is Ellen and I'm a vegetarian. Just to add another label to me: I am a lesbian, aquarian and vegetarian. I've said it ...
Ellen DeGeneres
#5. It makes a big difference in your life when you stay positive.
Ellen DeGeneres
#6. You listen to any monologue on late-night TV or just in general, to people talking, and there's always a joke at someone's expense. It's sarcasm; it's nasty. Kids grow up hearing that, and they think that's what humor is, and they think it's OK. But that negativity permeates the entire planet.
Ellen DeGeneres
#7. I think I let go of the need for approval, ... It certainly feels good when you get it, but I used to be more desperate for it. Once I felt better inside about myself ... I could do everything based on how I want to do things.
Ellen DeGeneres
#8. It is a fundamental right for people to be allowed to love who they want to love and marry who they want to marry and stop holding on to some form of discrimination that it's just isn't fair.
Ellen DeGeneres
#9. So, I bought a new CD and I was trying to get it open but couldn't with all the layers ... I mean plastic and then tape, and the tape is like government tape. It says 'open here.' Is that sarcasm?
Ellen DeGeneres
#10. Even before I knew I was gay, I knew I didn't want to have a child. I knew I didn't want to have one. I never want to have to release it from me. Listen, I love babies. I love children. And I melt when I'm around them. I also love my freedom and I love that I can sleep at night.
Ellen DeGeneres
#11. I hate having to do small talk. I'd rather talk about deep subjects. I'd rather talk about meditation, or the world, or the trees or animals, than small, inane, you know, banter.
Ellen DeGeneres
#12. Hosting the Emmys is a challenge for me. I guess it's the equivalent of someone who needs to climb a mountain or jump out of a plane. It's that kind of thing, where this could go terribly wrong. And I love the feeling of when it goes right.
Ellen DeGeneres
#13. Honestly, we'd probably be great parents. But it's a human being, and unless you think you have excellent skills and have a drive or yearning in you to do that, the amount of work that that is and responsibility - I wouldn't want to screw them up! We love our animals.
Ellen DeGeneres
#14. I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.
Ellen DeGeneres
#15. Here are the values that I stand for: honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values.
Ellen DeGeneres
#16. We all feel like idiots at one time or another. Even if we feel we're cool 98 percent of the time, that 2-percent doofus is poised to take over our bodies without any warning.
Ellen DeGeneres
#17. Knowledge is power and you need power in this world. You need as many advantages as you can get.
Ellen DeGeneres
#18. Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It's about knowing and accepting who you are.
Ellen DeGeneres
#19. My cat, Ethel, is an indoor cat but somehow she's sneakin' out at night. 'Cause the other morning I found a stamp on her paw ... I wouldn't have noticed myself, but I just bought this new black light and she passed right under it and I said, 'Hey, what's that on you paw?
Ellen DeGeneres
#20. Designing is my hobby. If I didn't do what I do for a living - at some point when I don't do this for a living - I'll probably just do design work. I love finding really special pieces of furniture.
Ellen DeGeneres
#21. It's failure that gives you the proper perspective on success.
Ellen DeGeneres
#22. ...there are a lot of self-righteous people out there. And if you try to adjust your life to please them...you're just going to go crazy and risk being as unhappy as these self-righteous kooks are.
Ellen DeGeneres
#23. When our video of 'Smooth Criminal' came out, suddenly we started getting all kinds of offers. We were getting calls from TV shows like 'Ellen DeGeneres' and from record labels.
Luka Sulic
#24. I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres.
Ellen DeGeneres
#25. I think people need to laugh everyday. Whether the economy is good or bad, I think the most important thing is to laugh and to feel positive, if you are laughing at something positive. But if you are laughing at mean jokes then it's a wash.
Ellen DeGeneres
#26. I hope I make people feel better. I hope I take people out of their situations a little bit and make them happier. That's really why I do what I do.
Ellen DeGeneres
#27. The only way a no-legged leopard could hurt you is if it fell out of a tree onto your head.
Ellen DeGeneres
#28. Answers to Frequently Asked Questions:
Yes.
Yes.
No.
One time in high school.
Three times in my twenties.
Rocks no salt.
Yes.
Four.
Never. And how dare you!
I will take no further questions.
Ellen DeGeneres
#29. Standup is more me talking the entire time. There's definitely an exchange of energy because that room, that audience, is giving back.
Ellen DeGeneres
#30. I just want to find somebody special, somebody that I click with.
Ellen DeGeneres
#31. We're all different people and we're allowed to be different from one another. If someone ever says you're weird, say thank you. And then curtsy. No, don't curtsy. That might be too weird. Bow. And tip your imaginary hat. That'll show them.
Ellen DeGeneres
#32. What did the letter O say to Q? Dude, your dikk is hanging out.
Ellen DeGeneres
#33. But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's get our priorities straight. I think we all know what's really important in life - winning an Oscar.
Ellen DeGeneres
#34. I cannot imagine not going home to animals. They are the closest thing to God; they don't harbor resentment. I wanted to be a vet when I grew up.
Ellen DeGeneres
#35. Being a teenager and figuring out who you are is hard enough without someone attacking you
Ellen DeGeneres
#38. I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, 'I can't believe you don't remember me! I'm like, 'Oh Dad I'm sorry!
Ellen DeGeneres
#39. There's nothing I know for sure, because I know for sure that things change.
Ellen DeGeneres
#40. I think gender plays a part in most things, but I don't know how it would be different because I've never been a man. And my fame is different from Nicole Kidman's or Sharon Stone's. I think everybody's fame is different.
Ellen DeGeneres
#41. Comedy can be, especially in a writer's room, really aggressive, kind of a very male-dominated room, and it would be hard for women. It's not a nurturing place. It's not like a lot of women are going to say, I can't wait to live that lifestyle and be in a writer's room until 2 or 3 a.m.
Ellen DeGeneres
#42. I do it because I love animals and I saw the reality. And I just couldn't ignore it anymore. I'm healthier for it, I'm happier for it. I can't imagine that if you're putting something in your body that is filled with fear or anxiety or pain, that that isn't somehow going to be inside of you.
Ellen DeGeneres
#43. My dream guests are really not so much celebrities. They're people who are actually interesting and they're doing something interesting with their lives or had an interesting experience in some way. I really enjoy talking to regular, everyday people.
Ellen DeGeneres
#44. You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled.
Ellen DeGeneres
#45. I admire people who know they can't sing. There are so many people out there who can't sing, but they think they can, so they sing a lot.
Ellen DeGeneres
#46. Find out who you are and be that person. That's what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth and everything else will come.
Ellen DeGeneres
#47. Have you seen the deer heads on the walls of bars, the ones wearing party hats, sunglasses and streamers? I feel sorry for them because obviously they were at a party having a good time ...
Ellen DeGeneres
#48. It's such an honor to receive the Mark Twain Prize. To get the same award that has been given to people like Bill Cosby, Tina Fey and Will Ferrell, it really makes me wonder ... why didn't I get this sooner?
Ellen DeGeneres
#49. You know how you always expect someone to think the same as you and then your like, really shocked when they don't? Like when it's a cold day and you turn to the person next to you and say, 'Its so cold, aren't you cold?' and then they say 'no.' It's kinda like, 'what, are you a communist?
Ellen DeGeneres
#50. I had no intention of becoming a comedian. I just wanted to make people happy. I tried everything-I shucked oysters, I painted houses, I sold vacuum cleaners. But there was always a voice saying, You should be doing something different. And it was usually my boss and I was being fired.
Ellen DeGeneres
#51. I would love to have the same rights as everybody else. I would love, I don't care if it's called marriage. I don't care if it's called, you know, domestic partnership. I don't care what it's called.
Ellen DeGeneres
#52. What you look like on the outside is not what makes you cool at all. I mean, I had a mullet and wore parachute pants for a long, long time, and I'm doin' okay.
Ellen DeGeneres
#53. Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.
Ellen DeGeneres
#54. If you're in a position where you can help other people, there is nothing better in life than helping other people. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!
Ellen DeGeneres
#55. I don't know when it became socially acceptable to be late.
Ellen DeGeneres
#57. I had done a sitcom and a movie and hosted the Emmys, and all of a sudden, I lost everything. As someone put it at the time, I was suddenly like a Ferrari in neutral.
Ellen DeGeneres
#58. Now we have hands-free phones, so you can focus on the thing you're really supposed to be doing ... chances are, if you need both of your hands to do something, your brain should be in on it too.
Ellen DeGeneres
#59. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.
Ellen DeGeneres
#60. You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
Ellen DeGeneres
#61. Quick decision makers are often stuck behind annoying people in line at Starbucks.
Ellen DeGeneres
#63. My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding? ... Noooo ... as funny as that is, I'm not
Ellen DeGeneres
#64. I think furniture is art. I don't think art is just for your walls - I think everything that someone has made is a piece of art.
Ellen DeGeneres
#65. After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that he is really, really, really, really gay.
Norm MacDonald
#66. If there weren't blacks, Jews and gays, there would no Oscars. Or anyone named Oscar, if you think about that.
Ellen DeGeneres
#67. I do have ADD and in real life, I'm all over the place and can hardly focus. If we were talking for, for more than an hour or so, I'd start drifting off ... I can't sit still too long.
Ellen DeGeneres
#68. The first time probably people really were aware of me, I unfortunately had the title of Showtime's Funniest Person in America. And that's a really tough title to travel around with when you're not even known.
Ellen DeGeneres
#69. I know there's always going to be feedback no matter what the subject. I am shocked by somebody commenting on my shoes or my clothes. Everyone has an opinion, everyone is logging about everything and has an opinion. So I can't possibly pay attention to that.
Ellen DeGeneres
#70. I was raised in an atmosphere of 'everything's fine.' But as I got older, I was like, 'Well no, everything's not fine. There is stuff that's sad.' I am a really sensitive person. I think I am too sensitive sometimes.
Ellen DeGeneres
#71. We use only 10% of our brains ... Imagine how smart we would be if we used the other 60%!
Ellen DeGeneres
#72. When people show me clothing that seems very, very feminine, it's hard for me to embrace that, because it just doesn't feel like me.
Ellen DeGeneres
#73. I was raised that you don't use something nice until there's someplace to go.
Ellen DeGeneres
#74. I still get scared at night. Every tiny creak, every little noise, I open my eyes real wide and listen with them. Have you noticed that? When it's dark and you can't see a thing, you open your eyes really wide and glance back and force, like your eyes become your ears?
Ellen DeGeneres
#76. The way I see it ... If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you're doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.
Ellen DeGeneres
#77. That's what life is all about. There's a lot of crying. So you'd better cry now and get used to it.
Ellen DeGeneres
#78. Start thinking positively. You will notice a difference. Instead of 'I think I'm a loser,' try 'I definitely am a loser.' Stop being wishy-washy about things! How much more of a loser can you be if you don't even know you are one? Either you are a loser or you are not. Which is it, stupid?
Ellen DeGeneres
#79. I get paid very well for an amazing, amazing life. I'm blessed.
Ellen DeGeneres
#80. My dad is still Christian Scientist. My mom's not, and I'm not. But I believe in God, and that there's a higher power and an intelligence that's bigger than us and that we can rely on. It's not just us, thinking we are the ones in control of everything. That idea gives me support.
Ellen DeGeneres
#81. Most people don't get to laugh, be free, dance, be surrounded by this energy. It's important to remind people to take that home. I want the world to start shifting [to] a more positive energy.
Ellen DeGeneres
#82. I prefer to believe that people are good and honest and respect me enough to tell me the truth. It's not easy to find those people all the time, but they're out there.
Ellen DeGeneres
#83. Catch-and-release, that's like running down pedestrians in your car and then, when they get up and limp away, saying
'Off you go! That's fine. I just wanted to see if I could hit you.'
Ellen DeGeneres
#84. Though you feel you're not where you're suppose to be, you shouldn't worry because that next turn that you take, it will lead you to where you wanna go.
Ellen DeGeneres
#85. I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon.
Ellen DeGeneres
#86. For me, it's that I contributed, ... That I'm on this planet doing some good and making people happy. That's to me the most important thing, that my hour of television is positive and upbeat and an antidote for all the negative stuff going on in life.
Ellen DeGeneres
#87. I'm sure there's somebody out there who doesn't like Betty White because she's short and has white hair.
Ellen DeGeneres
#88. We went to lunch and were talking about procrastination and the waitress overheard us and she said, 'I have a problem with procrastination, too.' I said 'Really? ... Get my sandwich.'
Ellen DeGeneres
#89. So let that be a lesson, kids who get an F in math. Ellen says you're doing the right thing. You're welcome, parents.
Ellen DeGeneres
#90. I like being busy and juggling a lot of things at the same time. I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot.
Ellen DeGeneres
#91. You talk to some people who are opposed to same sex marriage, and they'll say, 'If we allow that, what's next? Will people want to marry animals?' ... You have to wonder about people who go straight to that idea
and they think WE'RE weird!
Ellen DeGeneres
#92. It would be horrible to live with someone who didn't like the same things you like.
Ellen DeGeneres
#93. I'm going to be kind, because then it all just kind of spreads, and the world is a little nicer out there.
Ellen DeGeneres
#94. There are all sorts of books offering advice on how to deal with life-threatening situations, but where's the advice on dealing with embarrassing ones?
Ellen DeGeneres
#95. It's our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting. Are they fun when they happen? No. But they are what make us unique. And that's what I know for sure ... I think.
Ellen DeGeneres
#96. I think beauty comes from actually knowing who you are. That's real beauty to me.
Ellen DeGeneres
#97. We should be grateful for them because without our family - the ancestors we descend from, the cousins we see once a year, the loves our lives we see every day - life is pretty boring.
Ellen DeGeneres
#98. In the nineties, it was all women being blonde and from Sweden. But now it's changed: it's all men looking like Ellen DeGeneres.
Pablo Francisco
#99. I have a great career, and I have wonderful fans who really are supportive and loyal - because I'm not hiding anything from them.
Ellen DeGeneres
#100. I get my dance moves from just moving around and listening to music and not really worrying about if it's perfect or not.
Ellen DeGeneres
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