Top 100 David W Earle Quotes
#1. Consider letting go of the barriers between yourself and others, let go of the definition our culture has inflicted upon us and allow the best part of ourselves to connect with the wondrous parts of others. Allow yourself to connect in a deeper and more profound way.
David W. Earle
#2. Reality may not be what you want it to be, but it is the reality you now must face. You can deny this reality and try to wish it away, or you can accept it and not waste any energy on wanting it to be different.
David W. Earle
#3. No one can make you angry! No one can make you mad! You get to choose.
David W. Earle
#4. In order for a person to be able to "turn our lives and our wills" over requires something very difficult for a spiritually wounded person to accomplish - Trust. Yet, to accomplish this step, trust of the spirit must be present.
David W. Earle
#5. Our minds have a great capacity for deception. This does not mean we are necessarily dishonest but if we are not careful, when our brains do not have answers, our minds will create them.
David W. Earle
#6. Many of the habits of dysfunctional families use are not from the lack of love but are the result of fear. Knowing the love-limiting habits and behaviors of dysfunctional families is a wonderful beginning to lower the fear, allowing us to be real, allowing us all to learn how to love better.
David W. Earle
#7. For many years, I searched for this connection outside of myself but always to no avail. It was only when I turned inward did I find this power.
David W. Earle
#8. If there were two doors, one labeled, Door to Happiness, and the other labeled, Committee to Study How to be Happy, most of us would attend the committee meeting.
David W. Earle
#9. This wonderful gray of acceptance resides between the extremes of black and white thinking; looking for serenity, explore the gray. Part of that acceptance is understanding that life is hard and involves life and death. Part of that acceptance is that I am responsible for my actions.
David W. Earle
#10. The strange part about a person's lack of trust is that it often comes from not trusting themselves.
David W. Earle
#11. When face to face with our demons our destiny is in reach.
David W. Earle
#12. They sought the pain they knew so well and called it love.
David W. Earle
#13. With improved coping skills forged through my midlife crisis, I now listen first and do not control, and I allow these now adult children to come to their own conclusions about what they want for their lives.
David W. Earle
#14. Her screams are heard across generations who dared not scream
and died without joy,in silence and isolation.
David W. Earle
#15. Children have empty erasable white boards upon which big people write indelibly imprinted messages into their tender subconscious minds.
David W. Earle
#16. Swirling in a squirrel cage of perpetual motion, the head-committee meets, argues, votes out the guidance available from emotions, and successfully keeps serenity at bay and chaos close at hand.
David W. Earle
#17. I looked into the face of addiction and it terrified me!
David W. Earle
#18. People do not build a defense around a strength but around a weakness. Regardless of the magnitude of this mighty defense, part of the addictive personality desperately wants to escape.
David W. Earle
#19. The more dysfunctional, the more some family members seek to control the behavior of others.
David W. Earle
#20. The anger in itself was not the problem. The lack of anger management and the inappropriate expression of this anger is what doomed your relationship . . . sucked the love right out of it!
David W. Earle
#21. Until I face the emptiness in my soul
and know this spirit within me,
I have not yet begun to live,
nor touched the face of God.
David W. Earle
#22. When one person attempts to "fix it" for the other person, the connection of acceptance is snapped and the sender and receiver miss an opportunity for understanding.
David W. Earle
#23. When someone obtains peace and serenity, this shines a bright spotlight on others' own unhappiness making their discomfort even more apparent.
David W. Earle
#24. Only then can I fly.
Only then can I be free -
when I
let go of me.
David W. Earle
#25. Wounded parents often unintentionally inflict pain and suffering on their children and these childhood wounds causes a laundry list of maladaptive behaviors commonly called codependency. These habits restrict people to love-limiting relationships causing much unhappiness and distress.
David W. Earle
#26. This is what we desire in intimate relationships but this deep connection is often so frightful that most do not take advantage of the opportunities presented for honesty.
David W. Earle
#27. Anger can enslave us, or it can provide freedom, all depending upon how it is used.
David W. Earle
#28. It was His gentle voice who called
and sent His angel pain to guide me,
through the long 'n dusty corridors,
and empty hallways of my soul.
David W. Earle
#30. When we are not connected with our emotions, we are not connected to ourselves.
David W. Earle
#31. The more judgmental a person is the sadder they are.
David W. Earle
#32. As a little boy, when I would get angry, my mother would say, "Count to ten." Try as I might, I could not make this advice work for me. By the time I reached the number ten, I was madder than when I started!
David W. Earle
#33. Boundaries represent awareness, knowing what the limits are and then respecting those limits.
David W. Earle
#34. Anger has two benefits: it provides a warning and the necessary energy for change.
David W. Earle
#35. Strong feelings associated with an event can keep memories alive forever.
David W. Earle
#36. Sitting on the hot seat of change requires much courage, patience, and persistence.
David W. Earle
#37. Since children from dysfunctional families are so good at judging others, they also judge themselves finding themselves unacceptable when compared to others, always assuming they are second best, not enough. This is a painful realization so often they hide behind righteous arrogance.
David W. Earle
#38. Teenagers can spot hypocrisy a mile away and here I was telling them how to cope when they witnessed the shambles of my own life and how I was living.
David W. Earle
#39. Before the magic of recovery, I thought a perfect weekend involved hiding from myself with all the distractions life provides.
David W. Earle
#40. Under this aura of perfection he knows how flawed he really is but his intact denial system keeps this awareness suppressed in the far recesses of his mind.
David W. Earle
#41. For example, I can doubt that 2 + 2 = 4; however, my doubting does not change the equation. When I test out that formula and find that it is true, then that becomes my reality. How can anything become real until it is tested in the crucible of doubt?
David W. Earle
#42. embrace the suffering knowing the grieving you experience is about having something you desperately want and lost or having something you never possessed and earnestly desire. That lack you experience is the reality of life.
David W. Earle
#44. I, like you, was not depraved or defected before birth but created to be magnificent, a wonderful and freeing realization - simple but explosive.
David W. Earle
#45. People build defenses around a weakness, not around strength. Where self-esteem is strong, a defense is unnecessary.
David W. Earle
#46. Granted, anger can be misplaced and is often destructive, but anger generates passion, and that energy, if used correctly, can be highly constructive.
David W. Earle
#47. Shame is a powerful feeling. There is a tremendous difference between making a mistake and believing you are a mistake...If I don't see myself as being a mistake then it is I who must take responsibility and I am not ready to accept that.
David W. Earle
#48. All decisions involve emotions,ignoring emotions decreases the quality of the result.
David W. Earle
#49. Our parents were our first gods. If parents are loving, nurturing, and kind, this becomes the child's definition of the creator. If parents were controlling, angry, and manipulative, then this becomes their definition.
David W. Earle
#50. When I learned about the gray existing between the black and white of absolute terms, I began to experience more peace. The more I expanded my gray areas (more than 50 shades), the more peace I experienced in my life.
David W. Earle
#51. Oh, because you're an alcoholic." Only when I heard those words did it filter through my own denial. Only then did I gain understanding.
David W. Earle
#53. Why would God create a defective product? Why would a God who gave me free will require any certain belief? Why would a God powerful enough to create the universe need me to justify His existence? Why would He want me seeking favor with Him to manipulate my entrance to some afterlife?
David W. Earle
#54. Chaos limits the free-flow of love and becomes a roadblock to what family members want most and sadly, it becomes the normal for the family.
David W. Earle
#55. When I looked at myself through the prism of awareness, great tears came as I connected with how this wounded child felt.
David W. Earle
#56. Mature adults gravitate toward new values and understandings, not just rehashing and blind acceptance of past patterns and previous learning. This is an ongoing process and maturity demands lifelong learners.
David W. Earle
#57. Being judgmental is a form of attack keeping others off balance.
David W. Earle
#58. To be free to roam our own consciousness and be responsible for ourselves, a letting go process is required. We have to let go of how others define us; what damaging messages remain from childhood; how others define our relationship with the creator; and what expectations they may have for us.
David W. Earle
#59. People pay a dear price when not dealing with the powerful emotions.
David W. Earle
#60. We can be safe and live with other defined truths exemplified by a capital "T" or we can change and with our limited time experience truth with a small "t," seeking our own understanding, which can change with new awareness.
David W. Earle
#61. Honoring your word is the fiber from which trust is built.
David W. Earle
#62. From our behavior, we obtain certain results, and these results reinforce our beliefs.
David W. Earle
#63. If you are looking for love under rocks or bringing home water moccasins, you might be confusing love and pain.
David W. Earle
#64. If we want to improve, first we have to recognize our own maladaptive coping skills, called codependency, then change.
David W. Earle
#65. The more severe the dysfunction you experienced growing up, the more difficult boundaries are for you.
David W. Earle
#66. Other people feel love when we listen without judging and accept them without demanding change. We all desperately require these basic needs. When we can do this for another, we are indeed that person's angel.
David W. Earle
#67. Since the discovery of the fermented grape, humans have experienced the pain and the frustration of addiction.
David W. Earle
#68. Black and white thinking limits understanding and feedback, two necessary ingredients for successful resolution in creative conflict and successful understanding.
David W. Earle
#69. ...the state of perfection is an elusive goal; demanding something so obscure as almost unattainable and can become a compulsive, crazy making squirrel-on-a-wheel way of living.
David W. Earle
#70. Change will not successfully happen unless the emotional component is solved.
David W. Earle
#71. To de-escalate a potential conflict, one method is to take a step backwards.
David W. Earle
#72. This imbalance causes resentments within the over-responsible and dependency with the irresponsible person and this dynamic becomes the destructive life-pattern not conducive to happy families.
David W. Earle
#73. What is the largest addiction in the world? Looking good and being right!
David W. Earle
#74. When anger is used correctly, it can have positive results!
David W. Earle
#76. Others hide from being real by filling the air with words; the more words they throw out, the less actual communication happens and they are left with only an illusion of connection. This is the intimacy they so ardently seek but with these coping skills find so elusive.
David W. Earle
#77. We violated each other's boundaries with verbal missiles of anger disguised in the pretense of "just kidding.
David W. Earle
#78. Being able to say, "No," is a necessary ingredient in a healthy lifestyle.
David W. Earle
#79. The more one moves toward change, the more desperate one becomes and despair increases. The natural reaction is to hide as far away from pain as possible and as much as possible, numbing the associated emotions.
David W. Earle
#80. Crossing the Ring of Fire is..moving from the emotional shutdown of numbness through the flames of fear and entering into the healing arms of change.
David W. Earle
#82. Often, we will stay in a miserable status quo until the misery finally exceeds the resistance to change. True wisdom is seeing the future: what will happen if change does not happen?
David W. Earle
#83. Change is hard, difficult, painful, and often messy
David W. Earle
#84. Putting labels on others creates a black hole of disregard where judgment thrives and schisms deepen.
David W. Earle
#85. Often self-love is replaced with self- loathing, compounded by beating ourselves up. We become experts at putting ourselves down, judging ourselves, and finding fault. This creates deep shame that says "I am a mistake" instead of saying "I made a mistake.
David W. Earle
#86. World's definition of success
material validation of self
cold and naked substitute
for inner warmth and beauty.
David W. Earle
#87. People who are unwilling to talk about deep personal issues do not trust their own emotions.
David W. Earle
#88. Families living in dysfunction seldom have healthy boundaries. Dysfunctional families have trouble knowing where they stop and others begin.
David W. Earle
#89. This woman's size protected her
from the hurts of the world
but it also imprisoned her soul.
As the merry-go-round revolved, she ate another French fry,as a silent scream frozen on her face.
David W. Earle
#90. When you journey inwardly exploring yourself, a sense of personal trust begins.
David W. Earle
#92. Listing someone else's faults is taking someone else's inventory, and usually starts conflict.
David W. Earle
#93. Rigid traditions capture souls
prisons of spiritual thought
man's religion has captured a god
grown too small and very weak.
David W. Earle
#94. When we leave this life, we only get to take two things: the love we received and the lessons we learned.
David W. Earle
#95. When this low self-worth is hidden, one can understand why the person becomes hypersensitive to the opinions of others and has a great deal of difficulty accepting criticism no matter how warranted or gently said.
David W. Earle
#96. What are humans meant to do; why are we here? Are we a mutation on the earth destroying its host? Are we a cancer destined to kill what supports us? I think not. So exploring this question is a powerful exercise in meaning; what is the meaning of human existence?
David W. Earle
#97. As a parent who raised his children in dysfunction, I know the parental wounds my children received were not intentional; often they were my best expression of love, sometimes coming out sideways, not as I intended.
David W. Earle
#98. It is one thing to know about your dysfunctional habits but quite another to change them.
David W. Earle
#99. War on Drugs...will only be won when we point our thumbs at ourselves and ask the hard question: "How am I contributing to this problem?
David W. Earle
#100. Codependency is a learned set of behaviors, thought processes, and habits. When combined together, they fit a very loose definition. All people exhibit these traits to some degree, but some of us allow them to dictate our relationships with others and ourselves.
David W. Earle
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