David Feherty Quotes

#1. I don't want anybody to understand what my depression feels like because in order to understand it you have to have been there, and I don't want anybody else to go.

David Feherty

#2. I adore dogs to the extent I think they are much more important than human beings. I like your dog much more than I like you.

David Feherty

#3. Once upon a time there was a widow who had two daughters. The elder was so much like her, both in looks and character, that whoever saw the daughter saw the mother.

Charles Perrault

#4. When I was a wee lad, Uncle Dickie sat me on his knee, and regaled me with stories about the genesis of a game that involved trying to jam a ball into a hole in the ground with a stick,

David Feherty

#5. Playing Augusta is like playing a Salvador Dali landscape. I expected a clock to fall out of the trees and hit me in the face.

David Feherty

#6. Every poet hopes that after-times Shall set some value on his votive lay.

Caroline Norton

#7. Your greatest path of influence is love.

Mollie Marti

#8. Being bipolar and an addict and an alcoholic I have to keep myself very busy. I don't sleep. I am lucky if I get three hours of sleep a night, and so I get up, and my head is full of slamming doors.

David Feherty

#9. I love books because they are easier than people.

Courtney Conant

#10. Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.

David Feherty

#11. I hunt feral hogs. I try not to shoot creatures. That doesn't do anything for me. But big, nasty, smelly, bristly things with tusks that destroy everything that they touch. Yeah, I'll shoot them.

David Feherty

#12. I lost 150 lbs. if you include my wife.

David Feherty

#13. The course is so long, I had to take the curvature of the Earth into consideration.

David Feherty

#14. When the red wrath perisheth, when the dulled swords fail, These three who have walked with Death these shall prevail. Hell bade all its millions rise; Paradise sends three: Pity, and Self-sacrifice, and Charity.

Theodosia Garrison

#15. Win and you are the superior being in all the universe; lose, and may the fleas of a million rodents, infect your every orifice.

David Feherty

#16. I have got to do something that makes me focus on one thing, and so I will sit and listen to music, or I will read, or I will go and make ammunition in my workshop. I have just got to keep myself busy.

David Feherty

#17. Hurling looks a bit like a cross between lacrosse and second degree murder.

David Feherty

#18. If god wanted people to believe in him, why'd he invent logic then?

David Feherty

#19. Out on the street I start to run; I need to breathe in this life, the trees, the warmth of my town. I will be able to control my own fate and I will know how to be happy. Happiness is something you lay siege to, it is a battle ...

Shan Sa

#20. Everybody knows pretty much everything about me. I emptied all the skeletons out of my closet a long time ago.

David Feherty

#21. You can only do two things with your life: give it away or throw it away.

Ron White

#22. I don't suffer from a mental illness, I live with it.

David Feherty

#23. That's the trouble with Nick. The only time he opens his mouth is to change feet.

David Feherty

#24. I have a healthy disrespect for religion. I really do. When Columbus came to this country in 1492 he brought syphilis, diphtheria, tuberculosis, influenza and Christianity. The diseases were curable.

David Feherty

#25. It's hard to tell who's going to win this week, but it probably won't be a big, fat guy.

David Feherty

#26. The world's No. 1 tennis player spends 90 percent of his time winning, while the world's No. 1 golfer spends 90 percent of his time losing. Golfers are great losers.

David Feherty

#27. I was swinging like a toilet door on a prawn trawler.

David Feherty

#28. No stir of air was there, Not so much life as on a summer's day Robs not one light seed from the feather'd grass, But where the dead leaf fell, there did it rest.

John Keats

#29. Never has my flabber been so completely gasted.

David Feherty

#30. I didn't quit drinking because I was a bad drunk. I quit because I was a spectacular drunk. It got to be like a video game, where you get to the highest level and it's not even a challenge any more.

David Feherty

#31. Worst haircut I've ever seen in my life. And I've had a few bad
ones. It looks like he (John Daly) has a divot over each ear.

David Feherty