Top 80 Colin Quinn Quotes
#1. Only Colin Quinn was direct about it. "Your father doesn't fucking play games. You would never come home with a shamrock tattoo in that house." That's Don Fey.
Tina Fey
#2. I've been to Japan, I've been to China, I've been to Africa, I've been to the Middle East, I've been to Europe a little bit. I've never been to South America.
Colin Quinn
#3. The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we found out, an examined life not that fascinating either.
Colin Quinn
#4. People say history was written by the winners. No, it wasn't. It was written by the bullies.
Colin Quinn
#5. Even Colin Powell who was everywhere before he became secretary of state, just stopped going out. I think part of it was he didn't want to be viewed suspiciously by the other people in the White House who rarely go anywhere.
Sally Quinn
#6. Even Colin - the golden boy, the man with the easy smile and devilish humor - had raw spots of his own. He was haunted by unfulfilled dreams and secret insecurities. How unfair she had been when she'd pondered his life, not to allow him his weaknesses.
Julia Quinn
#7. I thought you wanted food," she gasped.
"I do," he murmured, tugging on the bodice of her dress. "But I want you more.
Julia Quinn
#8. The only people who like to live alone more than comics are priests.
Colin Quinn
#9. I suggest," Colin said, raising one brow into a perfectly debonair arch, "that we flee the scene.
Julia Quinn
#10. I'm not a big method actor. I'm much more superficial.
Colin Quinn
#11. You are not going to waltz in here and distract me with a clever phrase and a beguiling smile."
"You think my smile is beguiling?
Julia Quinn
#12. I love people, I love studying people more than history. So whatever situation I see, then I look at, what were the people like, more than history itself.
Colin Quinn
#13. You do realize, Kilmartin,' Colin said, his voice so soft it was almost chilling, 'that there is no reason you can't marry her. None at all. Except, of course,' he added, almost as an afterthought, 'the reasons you manufacture for yourself.
Julia Quinn
#15. Michael nodded tersely, eyeing a table across the room. It was empty. So empty. So joyfully, blessedly empty.
He could picture himself a very happy man at that table.
"Not feeling very conversational this evening, are we?" Colin asked, breaking into his (admittedly tame) fantasies.
Julia Quinn
#16. The mistake that people make in stand-up is thinking they're profound or they're deep when there are so many people who have more worthwhile ways of phrasing things.
Colin Quinn
#17. My stand-up act? I combine the fact that the world is a violent place with the fact that each person is responsible for the situation they are in.
Colin Quinn
#18. Twitter is one of those dangerous toys that if it gets in the hands of the wrong person you'll have the mind of a 12-year-old masquerading as an adult.
Colin Quinn
#19. Colin decided then and there that the female mind was a strange and incomprehensible organ - one which no man should even attempt to understand. There wasn't a woman alive who could go from point A to B without stopping at C, D, X, and 12 along the way.
Julia Quinn
#20. You can't make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers.
Colin Quinn
#21. A few years back, they jacked David Copperfield in West Palm Beach, for Chrissake. Yes, it's funny: "Yo, empty your pockets," and he pulls out a bunny rabbit. But it's also depressing. If someone who can make himself disappear isn't safe, who is?
Colin Quinn
#22. He smiled, and suddenly she knew that his words were true. Everything would be all right. Maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow, but soon. Tragedy couldn't coexist in a world with one of Colin's smiles.
Julia Quinn
#23. You can't make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.
Colin Quinn
#24. To be American is to long for whatever our parents fled.
Colin Quinn
#25. Everybody says before reviews come out, 'Oh, reviews don't matter,' just in case they're bad; everyone want to brace themselves.
Colin Quinn
#26. And so, on an otherwise unremarkable Friday afternoon, in the heart of Mayfair, in a quiet drawing room on Mount Street, Colin Bridgerton kissed Penelope Featherington.
Julia Quinn
#27. For the most part, comedians are pretty friendly with each other. They always say they badmouth each other, but most of the time, they're friends. We're the only ones that can really stand our type of humor.
Colin Quinn
#28. I think the world honestly would be a much healthier place if instead of trying to find rationalizations for our bad behavior we would just say, "I was an asshole. Sure, there were reasons behind it, but that doesn't matter.
Colin Quinn
#29. Do I look like a mess?" she asked.
He nodded. "But you're my mess," he whispered.
Julia Quinn
#30. I feel most empires fell when they started to act human, but then look at Russia. They kept a pretty strong hand, and they fell from Afghanistan alone because Afghanistan is the graveyard of empires. I guess you just can't sustain it.
Colin Quinn
#31. The thing that drives me crazy is when comics say 'I have low self-esteem.' No you don't. You're standing on stage asking people to pay. You don't play an instrument. You want people to pay to hear what's in your mind. You don't have low self-esteem. You might have other problems.
Colin Quinn
#32. Humanity is a crazy contradiction. I accept us for who we are. We're not that great. Every time we take a step forward we go back to the same primitive behavior. We're meant to be this way. It's not our fault, it's just who we are.
Colin Quinn
#33. I love you with everything I am, everything I've been, and everything I hope to be. I love you with my past, and I love you for my future. I love you for the children we'll have and for the years we'll have together. I love you for every one of my smiles and even more, for every one of your smiles.
Julia Quinn
#34. Good," Colin muttered, taking a bite. "I'm famished." "How can you think of food?" Gregory said angrily. "I always think of food," Colin replied, his eyes searching the table until he located the butter. "What else is there?" "Your wife," Benedict drawled.
Julia Quinn
#35. No words for the passion. No words for the need.No words for the sheer epiphany of the moment.And so, on an otherwise unremarkable Friday afternoon, in the heart of Mayfair, in a quiet drawing room on Mount Street, Colin Bridgerton kissed Penelope Featherington.And it was glorious.
Julia Quinn
#36. I'm just another guy who thinks he's smarter than he is, in a long line of them.
Colin Quinn
#37. She had been born for this man, and she had spent so many years trying to accept the fact that he had been born for someone else ...
Julia Quinn
#38. It was tumultuous, it was crazy, but I would not trade it for anything.
Colin Quinn
#39. Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type.
Colin Quinn
#40. Stand-up is live, so I'm used to being live for most of my career. It's interesting.
Colin Quinn
#41. I know nowadays the common wisdom is to celebrate diversity as long as you don't point out that people are different.
Colin Quinn
#42. I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.
Colin Quinn
#43. I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be.
Colin Quinn
#44. New York Stat agreed to pay $12 million to settle a lawsuit filed three decades ago by inmates swept up in the bloody 1971 revolt at Attica prison. The settlement will be paid in the form of chocolate bars and packs of Newports that can be picked up in the commissary.
Colin Quinn
#45. I always wanted to write as much as perform.
Colin Quinn
#46. A weird sort of awareness set in, like, 'Wow. My standup isn't just separate from everything else I do anymore.' With Twitter and Face book, everything is universal that everything everybody says gets seen.
Colin Quinn
#47. Everybody's got a different sense of humor. It's just different styles.
Colin Quinn
#48. When I look back now I realize I was such an obnoxious kid but, you know, I went to schools like you, like a public school in New York so compared to the anarchy that was going on there, they really wouldn't - I wasn't like a bad kid. I saw people come in and punch the teachers.
Colin Quinn
#49. Colin leaned forward. I really did not want to leave my wife.
Julia Quinn
#50. If I had to give up everything else and keep just one aspect of the job, I'd have to keep writing because I love it. Yes, I enjoy performing, too. But I couldn't give up writing material.
Colin Quinn
#51. Bridgerton, he grunted. Damn damn damn. Colin Bridgerton was the last person he wanted to see right now. Even the ghost of Napoleon, come down to slice a rapier through his gullet, would have been preferable.
Julia Quinn
#52. The earth is a used Kleenex on the universe's nightstand.
Colin Quinn
#53. People's - most people's job is talking about the future or like money not even in the present tense. It's not even paper.
Colin Quinn
#54. I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It's almost like if you didn't, you couldn't be a comedian.
Colin Quinn
#55. I write all the time - I write poetry, I love to write.
Colin Quinn
#56. So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence, I say that we have to get rid of the individual asholes in each office and situation.
Colin Quinn
#57. I'm quietly becoming New York's premiere actor. People don't understand. They have me pigeon-holed as a comedian.
Colin Quinn
#59. Good choice dancing with this one...I've always liked her. More brains than the rest of her family put together. ~ Lady Danbury to Colin Bridgerton
Julia Quinn
#60. I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine them.
Colin Quinn
#61. In three days," he continued, "I will be your husband. I will take a solemn vow to protect you until death do us part. Do you understand what that means?"
"You'll save me from marauding minotaurs?
Julia Quinn
#62. That's the beauty of being a comedian - it's the one job you're allowed to do that. We're lucky. We're really lucky.
Colin Quinn
#63. I think if you try to tailor your act to anybody, you end up with an act that doesn't work anyway.
Colin Quinn
#65. A lot of lip service gets paid to being honest, but no one really wants to hear it unless what's being said is the party line.
Colin Quinn
#66. The Senate was holding hearings on deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly, making them think they're going to get a bunch of money, when in reality they never see any of it. The most popular of these scams is called Social Security.
Colin Quinn
#67. Even a guy like Jim Norton is clinging to his one empty tradition like anyone gives a care. My prayers for his death, as always, went unanswered.
Colin Quinn
#68. Where is he? Bridgerton!" he bellowed.
Three chestnut heads swiveled in his direction. Simon stomped across the grass, murder in his eyes.
"I meant the idiot Bridgerton."
"That, I believe," Anthony said mildly, tilting his chin toward Colin, "would refer to you.
Julia Quinn
#69. In his heart, she'd been smiling for him.
But now she was smiling at Colin Bridgerton, he of the famous charm and sparkling green eyes.
Julia Quinn
#70. I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her.
Colin Quinn
#71. Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it.
Colin Quinn
#72. I'm always working on stuff. But they never materialize. I'm always working on movies and TV shows.
Colin Quinn
#73. You know, the funny thing about Lorne and that show is that, you can go over one million things, but in a business of bean counters, he still likes to laugh at small things and creates a show around it.
Colin Quinn
#74. She'd met Colin on a Monday.
She'd kissed him on a Friday.
Twelve years later.
She sighed. It seemed fairly pathetic.
Julia Quinn
#75. I think everyone should own six guns, even though I don't own any.
Colin Quinn
#76. How many great mysteries are there in life, really?" No one answered, so Colin guessed, "Forty-two?" She
Julia Quinn
#77. Well ... you know, I would wake up with a terrible hangover in a jail somewhere and worst part was that I would not know why I was there.
Colin Quinn
#78. I think I identify more with the smart guy, but most people might take umbrage at that. I like to think of myself as a real thinker, but I suppose people might beg to differ.
Colin Quinn
#79. You know how it is with writing. You just write what you want to write. There's no way to predict what is good or bad. You just do what you think is funny, and either it works or you're finished. It's impossible to predict anything.
Colin Quinn
#80. With comedians, you have that understanding that we're trying to get laughs.
Colin Quinn
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