Top 35 Clever Witty Quotes
#1. Think of something clever, witty or profound, keep it short and people may quote you.
Bobby Darnell
#2. Pickup lines never work ... I think someone clever, witty and funny is very attractive.
Kate Upton
#3. Clever, witty and absorbing, Amortality is a much-needed anatomy of our profound malaise about ageing. Its charms will never fade.
David Baddiel
#4. I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long.
Paula Poundstone
#5. I can't tell you how may beautiful women have broken up with me because they were bored. I can't tell you because it never happened. They all adored me."
"It was your humility, wasn't it?
Derek Landy
#6. I think that Obama is very cool. And I think he's clever, and I think he can be witty. But I don't think he's funny in either the way that Reagan was funny - or John McCain and Dick Cheney are both funny in that ruthless, kind of mean way.
Mo Rocca
#7. Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend that he is superior to the other.
Honore De Balzac
#8. Now it's virtually impossible to write a game that successfully provides challenge and frustration, and that's a shame. We are going to lose something that makes scientists, that makes doers, that makes hard-minded, witty, clever people, and I worry that those people aren't being made these days.
Patrick Rothfuss
#10. Thomas was sick of being accused of knowing things.
James Dashner
#11. I know you are incredibly bright, because when you are not being a smartarse your comments in class are very insightful, and when you ARE being a smartarse you are witty and clever and you make me laugh even when I want to slap you.
Amy Harmon
#12. He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up
Paul Keating
#13. As it 'appens, I am Arthur's right-hand man," said Suzy. "Or left-hand girl, I can't remember where I stood last time. Anyhow, me and Arthur is like two fingers of a gauntlet. Or at least the thumb and the little finger. I mean, I'm his top General, and all. So if I say you're in, you're in.
Garth Nix
#14. There is still a lot to be said for the well-made, witty, clever, three-act comedy.
Terry Teachout
#15. My wife was saying to me just the other day how she's noticed a spring in my step lately. That was because I thought you were gone forever.'
'I missed you too, Thurid.
Derek Landy
#16. I looked up in curiosity. Behind us stood the Brown and Eagle Wool Warehouse and Schneider's Cap Factory, both constructed with that wholehearted devotion to industry that sullied the word architecture.
Lyndsay Faye
#17. The present generation, wearied by its chimerical efforts, relapses into complete indolence. Its condition is that of a man who has only fallen asleep towards morning: first of all come great dreams, then a feeling of laziness, and finally a witty or clever excuse for remaining in bed.
Soren Kierkegaard
#18. He forced himself forward trying to seem innocent without acting like someone who was guilty who was trying to act innocent.
James Dashner
#19. My dear boy, in Ireland the midwife uses one hand to hold the baby's best fighting arm from the font water, and grips its jaws with the other lest the goes to litigation about it. Says O'LiamRoe
Dorothy Dunnett
#20. All my life I've wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought
Robert Breault
#21. Skul-man!' he exclaimed as he rushed forward to shake his hand. 'Last I heard you were trapped on a dead world overrun by evil trans-dimensional superfiends!'
Skulduggery nodded. 'Just got back.
Derek Landy
#22. Some day, Prince Kheldar, you will fall in love," the queen said with a little smirk, "and the twelve kingdoms will stand around and chortle over the fall of so notorious a bachelor.
David Eddings
#23. Graham's life is as tense as an overstretched simile.
Zane Stumpo
#24. My mother was a terrific force in my life. Wartime-generation woman, hadn't gone to university but should have done. Was very funny, very verbal, very clever, very witty.
Ian Hislop
#25. Please don't arrest me."
"Listen to me, I'm not going to arrest you, ok? I'm not a cop."
"Are you sure?"
"Am I sure I'm not a cop? yes, I'm sure."
"You could be undercover.
Derek Landy
#26. A father may have a child who is ugly and lacking in all the graces, and the love he feels for him puts a blindfold over his eyes so that he does not see his defects but considers them signs of charm and intelligence and recounts them to his friends as if they were clever and witty.
Miguel De Cervantes Saavedra
#27. You're impossible," she told him.
"Of course I am," he answered. "It's part of my charm.
David Eddings
#28. There was a time when skepticism was an act of rebellion. Since to a degree I both believe in evolution and have faith, I can only conclude that, as prophesied, to have faith will someday be an act of rebellion.
Criss Jami
#29. He things we think he's a double agent, working for them but secretly working for us. He doesn't know we know he's a triple agent, working for them but secretly working for us but really he's secretly working for them. Dexter, how's your brain?"
"Hurting.
Derek Landy
#30. You promise?"
"I cross the place where my heart used to be and wish to be even more deader than I am now.
Derek Landy
#31. Make sure it is God's trumpet you are blowing-
if it is only yours it won't wake the dead,
it will simply disturb the neighbours.
W. Ian Thomas
#32. I'm going to photograph every single person to enter and leave this tattoo parlour."
Finbar rolled his eyes. "And they'll hate that, because people who get dragons drawn on their backs are normally so shy about other people noticing them.
Derek Landy
#33. Night descended on Roarhaven like a woolly blanket of blackness with holes in it that were the stars.
Derek Landy
#34. I'd sneer and tell him he's got the cerebral finesse of an amoeba and delight in his squint of confusion.
Craig Silvey
#35. They're not going to arrest you,' Skulduggery said as they walked through the door. 'They might glare at you and say angry words, but they won't arrest you. Well, they might arrest you. There's a good chance they will. But the important thing is that I've done nothing wrong.'
'For once.
Derek Landy
