Top 100 Chuck Wendig Quotes
#1. Worry more about being a COOL HUMAN meeting other COOL HUMANS." - Chuck Wendig.
To that end, "Hello," said the cool human to all the others.
Chuck Wendig
#3. Science is trumped by ignorance when the ignorant are given a vote.
Chuck Wendig
#4. You wanted to show us ... a battle droid? The most incompetent droid soldier in the history of both the Republic and the Empire. A mechanical comedy of errors.
Chuck Wendig
#5. She thinks, I want an orange soda. And I want vodka to mix into the orange soda. And while we're at it, I'd also like to stop being able to see how people are going to bite it. Oh, and a pony. I definitely want a goddamn pony.
Chuck Wendig
#6. I could just call you Asshole or Shithead. Because you're kinda both, you ask me.
Chuck Wendig
#7. The beginning's easy because it's like
BOOM, some shit just happened. The ending's easy because
POW, all the shit that happened just lead to this.
Chuck Wendig
#8. The SUV carves its way through dark pine forests. Morning sun passes through the pleached trees, dappling the windows of the vehicle.
Chuck Wendig
#10. This is Wedge Antilles of the New Republic. I am trapped on the Star Destroyer Vigilance in the space above Akiva, and I am in -
Chuck Wendig
#11. Dialogue is a little bit jazz, a little bit hand-to-hand combat.
Chuck Wendig
#12. Your best authorial self is always one about to ruin the story.
Chuck Wendig
#13. Not it. Her. Give the Falcon some respect, kid.
Chuck Wendig
#14. All under the pretense of military application."
He pouts. "No pretense about it. Remember, the Internet was a military application. And now look at how it's changed our culture.
Chuck Wendig
#15. Creative agitation can serve you well. Embrace it. Look into that dark hole for answers, not fear.
Chuck Wendig
#16. Don't judge me, Captain Judgeypants. I go there for the sandwiches.)
Chuck Wendig
#17. It's probably the only attraction in Shartlesburg, Pennsylvania, a town whose name Miriam finds so funny she, well, nearly sharts every time she hears it.
Chuck Wendig
#18. The desire for perfection is like a pit of wet coal silt: it will grab your boots like iron hands and never let you go. 13.
Chuck Wendig
#19. A good life lesson is not to take strange meat from strange people. "You're
Chuck Wendig
#20. The adults, though. They don't say much about him. Or to him. And no other Gungans come to see him, either. Nobody even says his name.
Chuck Wendig
#21. And in the months since the destruction of the Empire's dread battle station, we have already liberated countless planets in the name of the Alliance.
Chuck Wendig
#22. Some of life's best moments are during a good bowel movement, and to have that robbed from you, I can't even imagine.
Chuck Wendig
#23. (As are all living things. All are caught in the river of power that is the Force, trapped by its currents. Only those who wield the dark side of the Force are capable of changing those currents; they are riverbreakers. They do not surrender to fate. They are its foes.) The
Chuck Wendig
#24. Rebellions work. We've seen it. We've helped make it happen.
Chuck Wendig
#25. Sir, I don't want this to get ugly." "Have you seen your face, guardsman? Too late to wish for pretty." Temmin
Chuck Wendig
#26. THE HOT WATER'S a scorcher and the cold water's like a winter puddle, and the shower offers nothing in between.
Chuck Wendig
#27. And oh, could he smell them. It wasn't just the stench of body sweat. It was the rancid odor of human meat. With every breath they gave it off. Blood under their tongue. Long pork between their teeth. Eau de cannibal.
Chuck Wendig
#29. The woman standing there is in a crisp admiral's uniform. She's dark-skinned, with cold brown eyes to match.
Chuck Wendig
#30. You're not tasked with desalinating an ocean or training a komodo dragon to cure ebola. I'm saying, sludge yourself into the ass receptacle and peck keyboard keys like a hungry chicken until it makes words.
Chuck Wendig
#31. That's why we gotta do good things now. Make good decisions. Try to move the rudder long before the boat ever gets near the iceberg, right?
Chuck Wendig
#32. Use the words that live inside your head. And if the words that live inside your head are those of a sentimental Victorian troubadour, then please close your head in a door jamb until you kill all that overwrought prose in an act of brain damage.
Chuck Wendig
#33. Between them an image is projected: a single, winking cursor. It wants a code. It wants the code.
Chuck Wendig
#34. A fully-realized and known world is also a boring world. Mystery, alongside conflict, is another of those vital vittles that feeds the reader and keeps them hooked. Question marks are shaped like hooks for a reason, I say
so leave lots of questions.
Chuck Wendig
#36. Once, if you told people you were self-published, they'd look at you like you were a smelly old jobless hobo just come off a dusty boxcar with soupcan shoes and a hat made from a coyote skull.
Chuck Wendig
#37. Every story's trying to say something. It's trying to beam an idea, a message, into the minds of the readers. In this way, every story is an argument. It's the writer making a case.
Chuck Wendig
#38. Princess Leia's baby, he knows, will have a good life. The best life.
Chuck Wendig
#39. We must remember that our fight continues. Our rebellion is over. But the war ... the war is just beginning. - ADMIRAL ACKBAR
Chuck Wendig
#40. The future is suddenly unpinned - evolving, spinning, leaping about like a panicked tree-loormor.
Chuck Wendig
#41. Balastair says with a small smile. I've missed you.
Chuck Wendig
#42. That's a lesson we could stand to learn. Imperials are just like us. Some of them, at least. It's easy to label those who serve the Galactic Empire as pure evil, all enemy, but truth is, a lot of those who do so were either sold a bill of lies, or forced to by threat of pain or death.
Chuck Wendig
#43. The Empire was not known for its roomy architecture. It was fond of austere pragmatism (that term, austere pragmatism, or sometimes pragmatic austerity, found its way atop many Imperial brochures and propaganda tracts), and so kept its hallways low and narrow.
Chuck Wendig
#44. And the lone Jedi that exists - the son of Anakin Skywalker - possesses an untouchable soul. At least for now.
Chuck Wendig
#45. Earth is home to more than twelve thousand species of ants. If you weighed all the ants and all the humans, the ants would weigh more.
Chuck Wendig
#46. War is not a state of being. It is meant to be a temporary chaos between periods of peace. Some want it to be a course of things: a default fact of existence. But I will not let that be so.
Chuck Wendig
#47. My name's Mapo," the boy says. "Mesa Jar Jar.
Chuck Wendig
#48. The Force, the Force, the Force! Everything the Force.
Chuck Wendig
#49. If you want to find the way forward, then stop looking for maps and start walking.
Chuck Wendig
#50. I am going to do what every wife must do now and again," she says. "I am going to go rescue my husband.
Chuck Wendig
#51. Way she sees it, people fall into one of two categories: those who think their death is imminent, and those who figure they have long, healthy lives ahead of them. Nobody ever thinks it's somewhere in-between.
Chuck Wendig
#52. In the kitchen, Chris pours her a glass of sun tea. Bitter. She hates the way they make tea up here. Tea should be sweet, gritty with sugar. Up here it's like the Yankees want their tea to taste like wash water.
Chuck Wendig
#53. A storyteller makes us feel something. Makes us give a shit when we have no good reason to do so. Fun is not the last stop on the story train. The storyteller is master manipulator. The storyteller is cackling puppetmaster.
Chuck Wendig
#54. Gotta have a head like a wrecking ball, a spirit like one of them punching clown dummies that always weeble-wobbles back up to standing. This takes time. Stories need to find the right home, the right audience. Stick with it. Quitting is for sad pandas.
Chuck Wendig
#55. And no hope is greater than that of the Wookiees of Kashyyyk. Heroes of the Rebellion Han Solo and Chewbacca have gathered a team of smugglers and scoundrels to free Kashyyyk from its Imperial slavers once and for all.
Chuck Wendig
#56. The Muse is not real. Relying on the Muse is like leaning on a crutch made of playing cards.
Chuck Wendig
#57. The Empire pretends it's about law and order, but at the end of the day, it's about dressing up oppression in the costume of justice. The
Chuck Wendig
#58. Palpatine has the presence of a collapsing star and the consumptive void that results from it. It draws you in. It takes something from you. It is a flensing, frightening force. But Rax stands tall,
Chuck Wendig
#59. Somehow, the remaining factions of the Empire are still fueling their war effort even months after the destruction of their second battle station.
Chuck Wendig
#61. Dengar guffaws. "You little scrap-muncher. I was putting away bounties while you were still in your space diapers." "What's it say about you that you're still in your space diapers?
Chuck Wendig
#62. Now she thinks to go at this all by herself: a rogue element.
Chuck Wendig
#63. Conflict is the food that feeds the reader. It's a spicy hell-broth that nourishes.
Chuck Wendig
#64. Question marks are shaped like hooks for a reason: they will hook the reader and drag them deeper into the story
Chuck Wendig
#65. Hollis Copper knows that everyone has a story and if you want to speak to someone, you better find a way to speak to his or her story.
Chuck Wendig
#66. May the Force be with you, mister."
"You too, kid. You too.
Chuck Wendig
#67. Golathan gets a mean look. Vulpine. Vicious. Like he's about to tear a chicken into wet gobbets and red feathers.
Chuck Wendig
#68. The Empire is just a skin we wear, you see. A shell. It's not just about law and order. It's about total control.
Chuck Wendig
#69. Writing is the act of creation. Put words on a page, words to sentences, sentences to paragraphs, paragraphs to seven-book epic fantasy cycles with books so heavy you could choke a hippo. But don't give writing too much power, either. A wizard controls his magic; it doesn't control him.
Chuck Wendig
#70. A lady should be respectful," is all he manages through gritted teeth. He pitches the towel in the corner.
Miriam snorts. "That's me. My fair fuckin' lady.
Chuck Wendig
#71. Writers are made
forged, really, in a kiln of their own madness and insecurities
over the course of many, many moons. The writer you are when you begin is not the same as the writer you become.
Chuck Wendig
#72. She treats herself as if she is a divine worm born of sand and stone.
Chuck Wendig
#73. Mood is painted in the margins: you create the image by negative space, dancing around it without ever saying it. 9.
Chuck Wendig
#74. Happiness is active, not passive; it's a decision, not an award someone gives you. Happiness takes adjustment. When something is broken, you adjust that thing with a wrench, a screwdriver, maybe a flamethrower.
Chuck Wendig
#75. Chewbacca is lovely and all, but he's a gargantuan pillar of hair who smells not unlike a moist gundark's undercarriage. And all that nonsensical growling? And the hugging?
Chuck Wendig
#76. No, I just mean ... I'm not into ... this."
"This?" Her scowl deepens and her teeth bare. "Aliens?"
"Women."
"Oh. Oh."
"Yes, oh."
"Oh.
Chuck Wendig
#77. Repeat the mantra: Writing is when I make the words. Editing is when I make them not shitty.
Chuck Wendig
#78. Even a small group of people can change the galaxy.
Chuck Wendig
#79. Stories have the power to make people feel. To give a shit. To change their opinions. To change the world.
Chuck Wendig
#80. That was a pretty good laptop, but Reagan's glad to lose it. Sometimes sacrifices must be made in the search for sweet lulz
Chuck Wendig
#81. Fine. Whatever. She's so unpleasant. Beautiful, sure, but it's like putting a dress on a badger. Pretty dress. Nice face. Still a badger.
Chuck Wendig
#82. Vampires are slicker than goose shit on a glass window.
Chuck Wendig
#83. The Empire is a thug, a bully. It's no better than Surat Nuat, or Black Sun, or the syndicate of Hutts. The Empire pretends it's about law and order, but at the end of the day, it's about dressing up oppression in the costume of justice.
Chuck Wendig
#84. I'm a certified bad-ass indestructible bitch. The sun tries to burn me, I'll kick him in his fiery balls. I don't need no stinking suntan lotion.
Chuck Wendig
#86. For the record," Miriam says, "I'm a supremely vulgar human being and even I think bearded taco is a disgusting term. My vagina is a beautiful flower, thank you very much, not a pube-shellacked burrito. Uck.
Chuck Wendig
#88. You wouldn't call yourself a runner if you quit every race your ran halfway through.
Chuck Wendig
#89. People believe any horseshit shoved in their ears long as you say 'terrorist.
Chuck Wendig
#90. We're here to change the world, not participate in its tedium.
Chuck Wendig
#91. We're all the heroes of our own tales. Even villains.
Chuck Wendig
#92. This is a terrible plan," he says to Han Solo - Solo, who crouches down so as not to be seen. Han Solo, the jerk. The very handsome, very charismatic jerk. "And I hate you very much.
Chuck Wendig
#93. It always seemed to me that the hacker occupied the same niche as the American cowboy in your Wild West. Gunslingers at the edge of known civilization. Black hats, white hats. Some drawn into thievery, others taking the law into their own hands - justice both corporeal and social.
Chuck Wendig
#94. Ramping a jacked-up hell-quad over a dirge-singing pack of goblins with a burned-to-death stuntman at the wheel. I'm
Chuck Wendig
#95. For it is time to return home. It is time to return democracy to the galaxy.
Chuck Wendig
#96. The age of the insect, he thinks. The meek truly shall inherit the earth.
Chuck Wendig
#97. He's built like a brick shithouse made of a hundred smaller brick shithouses.
Chuck Wendig
#98. Dang, that sounds like a fucking movie and shit. Sleep Hard 4: Sleep Harder.
Chuck Wendig
#99. The times we live in often dictate the type of entertainment we seek
and we're starting to slide once more into a very dark and scary corner of American life.
Chuck Wendig
#100. We think the future is robots and hovercars and maybe it's really here.
Chuck Wendig
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