Top 29 Chelsea Peretti Quotes
#1. Andy Samberg and Chelsea Peretti went to kindergarten together. For real.
Daniel J. Goor
#2. You were told how much space so it was a matter of whether you could send in two paintings or three paintings, you know, pending where the show was being held. You did submit work to be accepted. Once you were accepted that was it. You did your own selection of what went in.
Lee Krasner
#3. I performed after 9/11 for relief workers down by Ground Zero. There were these men just coming back, and they were voraciously hungry. They were heroes, pulling rubble, and I was a new comic trying to go blue just so I could get some laughs.
Chelsea Peretti
#4. People see technology as something that will ruin society and culture, but I've always embraced technology.
Chelsea Peretti
#5. The Constitution and laws of the United States resemble a theocracy more closely than any government now on the earth, or that ever has been, so far as we know, except the government of the children of Israel to the time when they elected a king.
Brigham Young
#6. When I was little, people would ask what my favorite color was, and I never knew. I find it's really hard to make decisive 'best' answers on what the 'best' of something is.
Chelsea Peretti
#7. For every man who has learned to fight in arms will desire to learn the proper arrangement of an army, which is the sequel of the lesson.
Plato
#10. 'Chels-emojis' are in the works. I use emojis heavily in life, and I think a lot of people do. There are a number that are frustratingly absent - you know how there's kind of a generic white man and a generic white woman? I just want to put a generic black man and a generic black woman.
Chelsea Peretti
#11. Obviously, a writer can't know everything about what she writes. It's impossible.
Anne Rice
#12. Working on 'Parks' was like heaven because everyone there was just intimidatingly intelligent and funny, and we would have these hilarious debates about really tangential things. It was inspiring because I felt really challenged to be my best.
Chelsea Peretti
#13. I'm obsessed with nature and living in the wild, which I just think is crazy. Imagine if a bear attacked you! That's an actual possible way you could die.
Chelsea Peretti
#14. I only do private room karaoke where it's just me and one of my closest girlfriends. My mom always said I could really belt songs out, and the Dixie Chicks feed that encouragement.
Chelsea Peretti
#15. I'm Jewish and Italian, and I lucked out and got the nose of both cultures.
Chelsea Peretti
#16. Regret is not a proactive feeling. It is situated in disappointment, sorrow, even remorse. It merely wishes things were different without an act to cause a difference. However, repentance is different. Repentance is an admission of, hatred of, and turning away from sin before God.
Monica Johnson
#17. It's hard to bury your head in Los Angeles. People come up to you and say, 'Hey, I saw your picture on a bus.' It's tricky: You're excited by the possibilities, but you don't want to get too crazy.
Chelsea Peretti
#18. On tour, it's either call ex-boyfriends or tweet a lot. You're just looking for any proof that you're not completely alone.
Chelsea Peretti
#19. I barely watch TV. Somehow, I make it work with just the Internet. On TV, there's always so much crap, and you have to flip around.
Chelsea Peretti
#20. It's really irritating. Even people who like my work sometimes come up to me and say, 'I usually don't like female comedians, but your material is great!' It makes the job prospect more daunting. Funny is funny, you know?
Chelsea Peretti
#21. If you text 'I love you' and the person writes back an emoji - no matter what that emoji is, they don't love you back.
Chelsea Peretti
#22. Do you guys think its worse to wear a fedora or kill 15 people?
Chelsea Peretti
#23. I was a man who thrived on solitude; without it I was like another man without food or water. Each day without solitude weakened me. I took no pride in my solitude; but I was dependent on it. The darkness of the room was like sunlight to me. I took a drink of wine. Suddenly
Charles Bukowski
#24. My parents divorced when I was one year old so I don't really remember any of the details, but luckily my mom does so she's been really helpful.
Chelsea Peretti
#25. So many people: Lucille Ball is the earliest incarnation of a woman I thought was funny, Joan Rivers, Roseanne, Carol Burnett, Gilda Radnor, down to current times, where you have Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, and Kristen Wiig.
Chelsea Peretti
#26. We went to a very small high school. It was, like, in a wooded house; it was a weird school. I hung out with a lot of guys in high school, and I did theater with a few of my close girlfriends.
Chelsea Peretti
#27. It's pretty satisfying to use an image when you don't have a great articulate response. And to be able to customize emoji? Imagine if you were a car enthusiast and you were able to create a car from scratch. That's what this is like for me. I'm an emoji enthusiast.
Chelsea Peretti
#28. I think that with podcasts, a lot of things are about fostering and having a direct connection with the community.
Chelsea Peretti
#29. I would say that I have a love-hate relationship with almost everything in my life, including stand-up.
Chelsea Peretti
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