Calvin N Hobbes Quotes

#1. County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that's the problem. I don't know how to spell it and I'm not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I'll stop you when ... Hello?

Bill Watterson

#2. It's only work if somebody makes you do it.

Bill Watterson

#3. Calvin : There's no problem so awful, that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse.

Bill Watterson

#4. When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.

Bill Watterson

#5. I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.

Bill Watterson

#6. I had a few comics, but I was by no means a huge aficionado. I was more of a 'Mad Magazine,' 'Calvin & Hobbes' sort of nerd.

Robin Lord Taylor

#7. Calvin: "I read this library book you got me."
Calvin's Mom: "What did you think of it?"
Calvin: "It really made me see things differently. It's given me a lot to think about."
Calvin's Mom: "I'm glad you enjoyed it."
Calvin: "It's complicating my life. Don't get me any more.

Bill Watterson

#8. How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food and beer conglomerates. Who'd have ever guessed product consumption, popular entertainment and spirituality would mix so harmoniously. It's a beautiful world, all right.

Bill Watterson

#9. The best proof of extraterrestrial intelligence is that they haven't contacted us.

Bill Watterson

#10. It's hard to think of another body of work that is more universally beloved - I don't think I've ever met someone who has encountered 'Calvin and Hobbes' without falling for them.

Anthony Marra

#11. I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word 'booger' in a newspaper comic strip.

Bill Watterson

#12. I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. - Calvin

Bill Watterson

#13. I'M SIGNIFICANT!!!
...
Say's the dust speck.

Bill Watterson

#14. The best presents don't come in boxes.

Bill Watterson

#15. Calvin: Life's a lot more fun when you aren't responsible for your actions.

Bill Watterson

#16. It's a funny world, Hobbes."
"True."
"But it's not a hilarious world. ... unless you like sick humour."
"The world is probably funnier to people who don't live here.

Bill Watterson

#17. The way Calvin's brain is wired you can almost hear the fuses blowing.

Bill Watterson

#18. Everyone says how Calvin and Hobbes is about a real kid, to me there's nothing real about it; it's an adult using a kid's body as a mouthpiece.

Bill Griffith

#19. Calvin: Dear Santa, before I submit life to your scrutiny, I demand to know who made YOU the matter of my fate?! Who are YOU to question my behavior, HUH??? What gives you the right?!
Hobbes: Santa makes the toys, so he gets to decide who to give them to.
Calvin: Oh.

Bill Watterson

#20. Every day of my life I have to add another name to the list of people who p*ss me off
Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes

Bill Watterson

#21. It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.

Bill Watterson

#22. I've been thinking Hobbes"
"On a weekend?"
"Well, it wasn't on purpose

Bill Watterson

#23. Idiocy is the essence of the male mind.

Bill Watterson

#24. Wake up, get up ... Shut up. Listen up ... Throw up ... Mix up, Goof up ... Hurry up ... "
"How's your day?"
"Looking up.

Bill Watterson

#25. Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine and valleys of frustration and failure.

Bill Watterson

#26. They say the secret of success is being at the right place at the right time, but since you never know when the right time is going to be, I figure the trick is to find the right place and just hang around.

Bill Watterson

#27. I've always just loved drawing and loved cartoons. Growing up, I loved Disney films, I loved The Simpsons, and I was a big fan of the comic strip Calvin & Hobbes and the way that they would have weird fantasy and then down-to-earth funny character comedy.

Alex Hirsch

#28. Calvin: I'm a genius. I can't believe how smart I am.
... I've got more brains than I know what to do with.
Hobbes: So I've noticed.

Bill Watterson

#29. Calvin: Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man? Hobbes: I'm not sure man needs the help.

Bill Watterson

#30. You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.

Bill Watterson