Top 62 Calvin Hobbes Sayings
#1. Every day of my life I have to add another name to the list of people who p*ss me off
Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes
Bill Watterson
#2. I had a few comics, but I was by no means a huge aficionado. I was more of a 'Mad Magazine,' 'Calvin & Hobbes' sort of nerd.
Robin Lord Taylor
#3. I've always just loved drawing and loved cartoons. Growing up, I loved Disney films, I loved The Simpsons, and I was a big fan of the comic strip Calvin & Hobbes and the way that they would have weird fantasy and then down-to-earth funny character comedy.
Alex Hirsch
#4. I hate Calvin and Hobbes. I think its a big re-hash of formula kid strips.
Bill Griffith
#5. My book is called, Shut Up And Stop Whining: How To Do Something With Your Life Besides Think About Yourself.
Bill Watterson
#6. Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?
Bill Watterson
#7. A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do.
Bill Watterson
#8. Mom says death is as natural as birth, and it's all part of the life cycle.
She says we don't really understand it, but there are many things we don't understand, and we just have to do the best we can with the knowledge we have.
I guess that makes sense.
Bill Watterson
#9. You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!
Bill Watterson
#10. I have all these great genes, but they're recessive. That's the problem here.
Bill Watterson
#11. This is where dad burried the little raccoon.
I don't even know he existed a few days ago and now he's gone forever. It's like I found him for no reason. I had to say good-bye as soon as I said hello.
Still ... in a sad, awful, terrible way, I'm happy I met him.
What a stupid world.
Bill Watterson
#12. Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!
Bill Watterson
#13. I never felt ostracized or made to feel strange by obsessing over 'The Onion' or 'Calvin and Hobbes.' That was considered completely normal.
Simon Rich
#15. Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.' ... what do you suppose that means?"
Television: " ... it means that Karl Marx hadn't seen anything yet
Bill Watterson
#16. Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.
Bill Watterson
#17. It's gratifying to hear that from people who care about comic art. I never know what to make of it when someone writes to say, "Calvin and Hobbes is the best strip in the paper. I like it even more than Nancy."
Bill Watterson
#19. Calvin: I'm being educated against my will! My rights are being trampled!
Hobbes: Is it a right to remain ignorant?
Calvin: I don't know, but I refuse to find out!
Bill Watterson
#20. Calvin and Hobbes are the only two characters from my childhood reading that I return to with any regularity, and they have grown with me, yielding newer and deeper meaning.
Anthony Marra
#21. Hobbes: Do you think there's a God? Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!
Bill Watterson
#22. I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life ... procrastinating and rationalizing.
Bill Watterson
#23. Calvin: I'm a genius, but I'm a misunderstood genius. Hobbes: What's misunderstood about you? Calvin: Nobody thinks I'm a genius.
Corfu? It's just a poor man's Pensacola ...
John Ratzenberger
#24. Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone.
-Hobbes
Bill Watterson
#25. I'm resolving to just wing it and see what happens.
Bill Watterson
#26. Calvin: Medically speaking:. That's love?!? ... Hobbes: Heck, that happened to me once, but I figured it was cooties!!
Bill Watterson
#27. I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.
Bill Watterson
#28. I'm a misunderstood genius."
"What's misunderstood?"
"Nobody thinks I'm a genius.
Bill Watterson
#30. If I had rolled along with the strip's popularity and repeated myself for another five, 10 or 20 years, the people now 'grieving' for 'Calvin and Hobbes' would be wishing me dead.
Bill Watterson
#31. You know, sometimes the world seems like a pretty mean place.'
'That's why animals are so soft and huggy.
Bill Watterson
#32. Oh lovely snowball, packed with care, smack a head that's unaware! Then with freezing ice to spare, melt and soak through underwear! Fly straight and true, hit hard and square! This, oh snowball, is my prayer. I only throw consecrated snowballs.
Bill Watterson
#33. County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that's the problem. I don't know how to spell it and I'm not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I'll stop you when ... Hello?
Bill Watterson
#34. It's a funny world, Hobbes."
"True."
"But it's not a hilarious world. ... unless you like sick humour."
"The world is probably funnier to people who don't live here.
Bill Watterson
#36. You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.
Bill Watterson
#37. Calvin: Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man? Hobbes: I'm not sure man needs the help.
Bill Watterson
#38. Calvin: I'm a genius. I can't believe how smart I am.
... I've got more brains than I know what to do with.
Hobbes: So I've noticed.
Bill Watterson
#39. They say the secret of success is being at the right place at the right time, but since you never know when the right time is going to be, I figure the trick is to find the right place and just hang around.
Bill Watterson
#40. Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine and valleys of frustration and failure.
Bill Watterson
#41. Wake up, get up ... Shut up. Listen up ... Throw up ... Mix up, Goof up ... Hurry up ... "
"How's your day?"
"Looking up.
Bill Watterson
#43. I've been thinking Hobbes"
"On a weekend?"
"Well, it wasn't on purpose
Bill Watterson
#44. It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.
Bill Watterson
#45. Calvin: Dear Santa, before I submit life to your scrutiny, I demand to know who made YOU the matter of my fate?! Who are YOU to question my behavior, HUH??? What gives you the right?!
Hobbes: Santa makes the toys, so he gets to decide who to give them to.
Calvin: Oh.
Bill Watterson
#46. Everyone says how Calvin and Hobbes is about a real kid, to me there's nothing real about it; it's an adult using a kid's body as a mouthpiece.
Bill Griffith
#47. The way Calvin's brain is wired you can almost hear the fuses blowing.
Bill Watterson
#48. Today for show & tell, I've brought in some flash cards I made. Each card has a letter followed by several dashes. When I show the card, you yell out the vulgar, obscene or blasphemous word they stand for! ... Ready? ... She's such a hypocrite about building vocabulary.
Bill Watterson
#49. Calvin: Life's a lot more fun when you aren't responsible for your actions.
Bill Watterson
#52. I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. - Calvin
Bill Watterson
#53. I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word 'booger' in a newspaper comic strip.
Bill Watterson
#54. It's hard to think of another body of work that is more universally beloved - I don't think I've ever met someone who has encountered 'Calvin and Hobbes' without falling for them.
Anthony Marra
#55. The best proof of extraterrestrial intelligence is that they haven't contacted us.
Bill Watterson
#56. How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food and beer conglomerates. Who'd have ever guessed product consumption, popular entertainment and spirituality would mix so harmoniously. It's a beautiful world, all right.
Bill Watterson
#57. Calvin: "I read this library book you got me."
Calvin's Mom: "What did you think of it?"
Calvin: "It really made me see things differently. It's given me a lot to think about."
Calvin's Mom: "I'm glad you enjoyed it."
Calvin: "It's complicating my life. Don't get me any more.
Bill Watterson
#58. I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.
Bill Watterson
#60. Calvin : There's no problem so awful, that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse.
Bill Watterson
#62. Calvin: Know what I pray for?
Hobbes: What?
Calvin: The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference.
Bill Watterson
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