Top 100 Caitlin Moran Quotes: Famous Quotes & Sayings About Caitlin Moran

#1. I have a feeling I'll only ever properly make sense in bed, on my back. You would understand what I meant if we were there.

Caitlin Moran

#2. I can't help but notice that in a society obsessed with fat - so eager in the appellation, so vocal in its disapproval - the only people who aren't talking about it are the only people whose business it really is.

Caitlin Moran

#3. All the things that are taboo are the things that are not normal, and all the things that are not normal are the things that are exclusively about physically being a woman.

Caitlin Moran

#4. Once you've got a big feminist and political justification for talking about how you went round to Benedict Cumberbatch's house and did period all over his sofa, then there's no reason not to tell that anecdote in the middle of a dinner party.

Caitlin Moran

#5. When you live in a small house with five younger siblings, it's actually far more sensible - and much quicker - to cry alone.

Caitlin Moran

#6. Goosing my own Maverick.

Caitlin Moran

#7. My favourite place in the world - the south beach at Aberystwyth -has a sewage outfall pipe on it

Caitlin Moran

#8. For preference, I would like you to stand on a chair and shout "I AM A FEMINIST!" - but this is simply because I believe everything is more exciting if you stand on a chair to do

Caitlin Moran

#9. And of course, the deepest irony about the young being cynical is that they are the ones that need to move, and dance, and trust the most.

Caitlin Moran

#10. When young people are cynical, and snarky, they shoot down their own future. When you keep saying "No," all that's left is what other people said "Yes" to before you were born. Really, "No" is no choice at all.

Caitlin Moran

#11. There's a lot of Sherlock love in here. In many ways, this book might as well be called 'Deduce THIS, Sexlock Holmes!' with a picture of me licking his meerschaum, cross-eyed and screaming.

Caitlin Moran

#12. Abortions are never seen as a positive thing, as any other operation to remedy a potentially life-ruining condition would.

Caitlin Moran

#13. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MR ELTON JOHN!

Caitlin Moran

#14. Shut up, Ed - the world below us has turned into a map. A real map! The woods look like the "Woodland: Deciduous" markings of Ordnance Survey. It is just as they drew it! Who knew! Who knew you could put the whole world on paper, after all! The artists were right! This is so reassuring!

Caitlin Moran

#15. We must recall the most important of humanity guidelines: Be polite. Being polite is possibly the greatest daily contribution everyone can make to life on Earth.

Caitlin Moran

#16. It makes you love vividly, work intensely, and realize that, in the scheme of things, you really don't have time to sit on the sofa in your undies watching Homes Under the Hammer.

Caitlin Moran

#17. The problem with battling yourself is that even if you win, you lose.

Caitlin Moran

#18. I hate that tabloid idea of anybody who is famous having to forfeit their privacy.

Caitlin Moran

#19. Even with my freewheeling open-mindedness, I couldn't fancy Dennis - a man whose ears looked like two long pieces of bacon.

Caitlin Moran

#20. I am getting incredibly high on a single, astounding fact: that it's always sunny above the clouds. Always. That every day on earth - every day I have ever had - was secretly sunny, after all.

Caitlin Moran

#21. The actual handbag is neither here nor there
it's what you keep in it that's the most important thing.

Caitlin Moran

#22. Freely available, hardcore 21st-century pornography blasts through men's and women's sexual imaginations like antibiotics and kills all mystery, uncertainty, and doubt - good and bad.

Caitlin Moran

#23. You stop talking about things when you've worked them out. You're no longer an observer but a participant. You're too busy for this bullshit.

Caitlin Moran

#24. I've generally got low levels of embarrassment.

Caitlin Moran

#25. I'm quite British; I've got big, flat feet, and I can't wear heels. I've got very, very pale Celtic skin, so my legs are always a frightening blue color. So when you take out clothes that reveal your legs, shoes that have any kind of heel, no shop will actually take my money.

Caitlin Moran

#26. The idea that I might not
in an earlier era, or a different country
have a choice in the matter seems both emotionally and physically barbaric.

Caitlin Moran

#27. Because my biggest secret of all - the one I would rather die than tell, the one I wouldn't even put in my diary - is that I really, truly, in my heart, want to be beautiful. I want to be beautiful so much - because it will keep me safe, and keep me lucky, and it's too exhausting not to be.

Caitlin Moran

#28. Between 60 and 80 percent of strippers come from a background of sexual abuse.

Caitlin Moran

#29. You can be whatever you want - so long as you're sure it's what you actually want, rather than one of two equally dodgy choices foisted onto you.

Caitlin Moran

#30. when cynicism becomes the default language, playfulness and invention become impossible.

Caitlin Moran

#31. I wish I could give up smoking, but it does taste so delicious.

Caitlin Moran

#32. Our world is afflicted by poverty. Don't spend all this money on clothes!

Caitlin Moran

#33. No one ever laughs when I make these kinds of jokes. When Bill Murray says shit like this, people completely lose it. I wish I was Bill Murray. I hope everything I've read about evolution is wrong, and I eventually evolve into him.

Caitlin Moran

#34. If you would feel comfortable going around to someone's house at the end of a long day saying, "I'm just going to take my bra off," you know you are intimate friends.

Caitlin Moran

#35. Explaining why you love something is one of the most important jobs on earth.

Caitlin Moran

#36. This is Pat," he says, introducing me to a man who is also drunk. "Because I'm Pat too! We're two Pats! He's a Protestant," he adds in a stagy whisper, "but we've sorted it all out.

Caitlin Moran

#37. A male feminist is one of the most glorious end-products of evolution.

Caitlin Moran

#38. This is where rock happens! This is where young people come! Rock music smells of toilet and cigarettes!

Caitlin Moran

#39. I don't think that women being seen as inferior is a prejudice based on male hatred of women. When you look at history, it's a prejudice based on simple fact.

Caitlin Moran

#40. We were all wondering - could you stop the maracas

Caitlin Moran

#41. Personally, I find the idea that women are supposed to "love" shopping bizarre - nearly every woman I know wants to cry after 45 minutes of trawling the high street looking for a shirt and hits the gin with alacrity upon the sad occasions when jeans have to be found.

Caitlin Moran

#42. Any action a woman engages in from a spirit of joy, and within a similarly safe and joyous environment, falls within the city-walls of feminism. A girl has a right to dance how she wants, when her favourite record comes on.

Caitlin Moran

#43. Yeah. They wake up a couple of times in the night, but, you know, that is the ineffable nature of the young! I said. This woman was bound to be impressed by what an engaged big sister I was. Also, my vocabulary.

Caitlin Moran

#44. When I learned that flour pound for pound has as many calories as sugar, and that when eating pasta you're basically eating cake, I was size 23, and my neck was restricting my breathing, and so I got on a microbiotic diet and got myself an exercise bike.

Caitlin Moran

#45. When a woman walks into a room, her outfit is the first thing she says, before she even opens her mouth. Women are judged on what they wear in a way men would find incomprehensible.

Caitlin Moran

#46. I will NOT be reading when we fly. My face is pressed against the window. When we fly, I am going to be absolutely present for every meter and every cloud. No one will EVER have flown more than me.

Caitlin Moran

#47. Twitter means all my friends are in my computer. All my ideas are in my computer. I can do whatever I want in there; I'm kind of ... bionic.

Caitlin Moran

#48. As with winning the lottery, or becoming famous - there is no manual for becoming a woman,

Caitlin Moran

#49. Whenever you need to win a situation - talk about jazz, Johanna. It confuses people.

Caitlin Moran

#50. Of course, in the end, when Mapplethorpe turned out to be very gay, Smith was left with no other option than to go off and write Horses and grow the world's most influential lady mustache instead. Her hand was forced into productivity.

Caitlin Moran

#51. Because I am fully aware of what the word "fat" means - what it really means, when you say it, or think it. It's not just a simple, descriptive word like "brunette" or "34." It's a swear word. It's a weapon. It's a sociological subspecies. It's an accusation, dismissal, and rejection.

Caitlin Moran

#52. The real cost of living is dying, and we're spending days like millionaires: a week here, a month there, casually spunked until all you have left are the two pennies on your eyes.

Caitlin Moran

#53. When you say you're not a feminist, if feminism hadn't existed, and you didn't live in a feminist world, you wouldn't be saying that, because you'd be too busy scrubbing out the toilets in back while cooking up your husband's tea and dying in childbirth at the age of 34.

Caitlin Moran

#54. When I saw 'Pretty In Pink' at the cinema at the age of 11, I just thought it was a period piece from maybe 100 years previously. I had no idea that was what everybody was supposed to be wearing.

Caitlin Moran

#55. It's difficult to see the glass ceiling because it's made of glass. Virtually invisible. What we need is for more birds to fly above it and shit all over it, so we can see it properly.

Caitlin Moran

#56. I don't want children anyway,' Caz says. 'So I'm getting nothing out of this whatsoever. I want my entire reproductive system taken out, and replaced with spare lungs, for when I start smoking. I want that option. This is pointless.

Caitlin Moran

#57. Books seem the most potent source: each one is the sum total of a life that can be inhaled in a single day. I read fast, so I'm hoovering up lives at a ferocious pace, six or seven or eight in a week. I particularly love autobiographies: I can eat a whole person by sundown.

Caitlin Moran

#58. I feel in my bones that Lady Gaga is a true strident feminist and good for my soul - but how do I square this with the fact that she's constantly walking around in her bra and pants, even at, like, airports and stuff, where even nudists wear a fleece and linen drawstring trousers?

Caitlin Moran

#59. There. There you are. You have dropped a marker pin on your body, to reclaim yourself, to remind you where you are: inside yourself. Somewhere. Somewhere in there.

Caitlin Moran

#60. Robert Johnson invented the blues, at midnight, at a crossroads, after selling his soul to the devil. Dorothy Parker invented amusing women, at 2 p.m., in New York's best cocktail bar, after tipping a busboy 50 cents for a martini. It's hard not to draw conclusions as to which is the brighter sex.

Caitlin Moran

#61. I've got more friends than I've ever had in my life at the age of 39 - although given that I didn't have any friends until the age of 27, it doesn't say much - because I found the internet.

Caitlin Moran

#62. Of course, people discovering true love works out badly for everyone, really. I mean, it's okay in the end- once everyone settles down and stops making a big fuss about it. But fairly near the beginning, there is a massive test of everyone's patience and love- a wedding.

Caitlin Moran

#63. I'm neither 'pro-women' nor 'anti-men'. I'm just 'Thumbs up for the six billion

Caitlin Moran

#64. I love puffins. They are small, round gothic birds, and their babies are called pufflings.

Caitlin Moran

#65. The thing is, one in three women in the Western world will end up having an abortion, but they never talk about it. When you keep silent about that stuff, it is because you are embarrassed by the societal distaste of the topic.

Caitlin Moran

#66. If you've been fat, you will always feel and see the world as a fat person; you know how difficult it is ... It's the same coming from a working-class background ... it never leaves you.

Caitlin Moran

#67. Diana, Princess of Wales is feminine. Kylie Minogue is feminine. I am . . . femi-none.

Caitlin Moran

#68. The more scared children are, the tighter they hug you.

Caitlin Moran

#69. I told my girls, 'Look at Rihanna: She's one of the biggest pop stars in the world. She's really famous, really powerful, really rich. Yet in every single video she can only wear panties. Poor Rhianna! We'll know when she is properly powerful and successful when we see her in a lovely cardigan.'

Caitlin Moran

#70. There's no self-expression or joy in these joints
no springboard to self-discovery, or adventure, like any decent night out involving men, women, alcohol, and taking your clothes off. Why do many people have a gut reaction to strip clubs? Because inside them, no one is having fun.

Caitlin Moran

#71. Galaxies of nothing are going on
in her eyes.

Caitlin Moran

#72. I sit at my desk, and I do not know where the words are hidden!

Caitlin Moran

#73. What a fucking bore people are.

Caitlin Moran

#74. You can be socially accepted and tell the truth about what it is to be a woman.

Caitlin Moran

#75. Let's all go and be feminists in the pub.

Caitlin Moran

#76. Musicals are strictly for homosexuals and womenfolk, Kenny says drily, in a way that's so post-post-post-ironic it actually stops being communication, and simply becomes confusing and unhelpful.

Caitlin Moran

#77. I find rap, dance, and hip-hop vaguely terrifying. I don't have the right clothes to be into them, and it all seems a bit intense. I file these genres along with heavy metal and speed metal under people who would kill, then eat me.

Caitlin Moran

#78. I have read more about Oprah Winfrey's ass than I have about the rise of China as an economic superpower. I fear this is no exaggeration. Perhaps China is rising as an economic superpower because its women aren't spending all their time reading about Oprah Winfrey's ass.

Caitlin Moran

#79. What is feminism? Simply the belief that women should be as free as men, however nuts, dim, deluded, badly dressed, fat, receding, lazy and smug they might be. Are you a feminist? Hahaha. Of course you are.

Caitlin Moran

#80. It's amazing how much you can find to say when there's one big thing you're too afraid to say: 'This isn't working.

Caitlin Moran

#81. Batman doesn't want a baby in order to feel he's 'done everything'. He's just saved Gotham again! If this means that Batman must be a feminist role model above, say, Nicola Horlick, then so be it.

Caitlin Moran

#82. It was the Spice Girls who messed it all up. And obviously, the appropriating of the phrase "girl power", which at that point overrode any notion of feminism, and which was a phrase that meant absolutely nothing apart from being friends with your girlfriends.

Caitlin Moran

#83. As I have said, in the same way that you can tell if some sexism is happening to you by asking the question "Is this polite, or not?" you can tell whether some misogynistic societal pressure is being exerted on women by calmly enquiring, "And are the men doing this, as well?

Caitlin Moran

#84. Lines and greyness are nature's way of telling you not to fuck with someone - the equivalent of yellow and black lines on a wasp, or the markings on the back of a black widow spider.

Caitlin Moran

#85. You should write, write, write every day, and learn to edit and pare it right back so you're proud of every sentence, and each one is either being useful or beautiful, but hopefully both.

Caitlin Moran

#86. There is no crueler or more inappropriate present to give a child than estrogen and a big pair of tits.

Caitlin Moran

#87. It demeans a society to rely on random acts of mercy, Johanna.

Caitlin Moran

#88. Boobs exist only to jiggle up and down on the chests of women between the ages of 14 and 32, after which they get too droopy, and then presumably fall off the face of the earth, into space; maybe to eventually become part of the giant rings of Saturn.

Caitlin Moran

#89. Men have made the world. And they've made a brilliant job of it. I love men. You know, men, you built Paris and you invented The Beatles, and, you know, and you've taught dogs to say 'sausages.' You know, I love your world. Thank you for it.

Caitlin Moran

#90. Because I am well read, I know what a terrible cliche it is to shout, "I *hate* you. I never *asked* to be born," so I refrain.

Caitlin Moran

#91. We think of feminism as an academic subject, but it's not. If you think feminism is academic, you think there's a right or wrong.

Caitlin Moran

#92. I wish I could learn that just three drinks is enough, but I have not learned that.

Caitlin Moran

#93. If you're not a confident person, pretend to be one.

Caitlin Moran

#94. Women's bodies do not give up their babies so easily, and so silently, is the message. The heart will always remember.

Caitlin Moran

#95. I think it's a delightful thing, for a young teenage girl to befriend someone of another generation. She is like a window into the past, I think to myself.

Caitlin Moran