Burlew Quotes

#1. And Larry Burlew was a slug. She'd join the Foreign Legion before she'd marry Larry Burlew.

Janet Evanovich

#2. Hey, look, I just regenerated a finger. Guess which one.

Rich Burlew

#3. I honestly don't know, but if America continues to refuse to reduce its greenhouse gas emissions, I see a bleak future not only for American society, but for the world as a whole. This is a global problem that is not going away, and the United States is an obstacle to solving it.

Peter Singer

#4. Durkon: You're only saying that because you don't want the world to end.

Roy: Of course I'm only saying that because I don't want the world to end. This is not an otherwise common topic of conversation .

Rich Burlew

#5. No way. I know acid, I've been splashed by acid several times before, and this, sir, is no acid.

Rich Burlew

#6. You should have seen the look on your skull...

Rich Burlew

#7. Let's see... "Advanced Flanking Theory", by U.R. Skrood. "Fighting on the Grid", by Minnie Churse. "Moving on Diagonals", by Wun and Ahaff. Ah ha! Here it is: "Attacks of Opportunity Explained", by Ben Dover and Taye Kitt.

Rich Burlew

#8. Hi Haley. look, I found all these free swords. They were in my spleen.

Rich Burlew

#9. Promise me...that you'll...*cough*...you'll dispose of my body in the waste receptacles...conveniently located by the theater exits...

Rich Burlew

#10. I think I just had an evilgasm.

Rich Burlew

#11. I became interested in ocean issues in the 1980s when I couldn't take my daughters swimming because of pollution at our local beach. Twenty-five years later, I'm a board member of Oceana, the world's largest international organization dedicated to ocean conservation.

Ted Danson

#12. You know, the first two, I probably should've seen coming. The leprechaun costume? Not so much.

Rich Burlew

#13. thog no girly-orc, thog manly-orc who just happens to like figure skating!

Rich Burlew

#14. Instead of critics reviewing my movies, now what they're really doing is trying to match wits with me. Every time they review my movies, it's like they want to play chess with the mastermind and show off every reference they can find, even when half of it is all of their own making.

Quentin Tarantino

#15. Fine! Whatever! Just be careful, my hands are still slippery with your blood.

Rich Burlew

#16. I started with the guitar around 12 years old but didn't learn the banjo until I was about 18 or 19.

Elle King

#17. You told me that it would be better to find family among people who were good than to try and find good among my family.

Rich Burlew

#18. So what? That just means I can beat him with both scrolls at the same time!!

Rich Burlew

#19. Guards! Summon the holy kitty litter! Mr. Scruffy demands poopsies!

Rich Burlew

#20. Druids always pick the hard way; it encourages natural selection.

Rich Burlew

#21. Sorry, Roy, I just don't trust you enough to believe that you lied.

Rich Burlew

#22. You guys go ahead, I'm just going to harvest his kidneys and I'll catch up.

Rich Burlew

#23. Miko: You would stand between me and this evil murderer?

Hinjo: I'll stand between any two murderers I wish, thanks.

Rich Burlew

#24. It turns out I had this huge geeky safety net out there that I didn't know about this whole time, made up of people who have been reading my comic for nine years but never contacted me.

Rich Burlew

#25. I've seen men ruined by drink, drugs and dodge pickup trucks, but this is the first time I've seen someone ruined by softcore porn ...

Craig Johnson

#26. Sacrificing minions: is there any problem it CAN'T solve?

Rich Burlew

#27. I know it's an artistic cliche, but every time I look at my past work, I want to projectile vomit.

Rich Burlew

#28. Also, as a rule of thumb, if you find yourself defending your inalienable right to make someone else feel like garbage, you're on the wrong side of the argument.

Rich Burlew