Bruce Lansky Quotes

#1. When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: 'Fetch!'

Bruce Lansky

#2. I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing. Now I go to practice slicing without swearing.

Bruce Lansky

#3. I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight.

Bruce Lansky

#4. Maybe even the smallest places mean something.

Jennifer Niven

#5. I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine.

Bruce Lansky

#6. What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole?

Bruce Lansky

#7. If you don't want to work for it, then why farm in the first place?

Michael Levatino

#8. One day Michelle

Bruce Lansky

#9. The only place you're sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother.

Bruce Lansky

#10. An all time favorite: The large print giveth, the small print taketh away.

Tom Waits

#11. In Minnesota it's so cold some nights you have to wear two condoms.

Bruce Lansky

#12. No one is so brave that he is not disturbed by something unexpected.

Gaius Iulius Caesar

#13. We learn so many things from golf: how to suffer, for instance.

Bruce Lansky

#14. A Mac is a closed box, so Apple can make decisions about things that they don't include. That makes, it in some ways, simpler for them.

Robert Wise

#15. Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.

Bruce Lansky

#16. I can't possibly go to school today," Michelle pouted, "I have nothing to wear." Her

Bruce Lansky

#17. When people leave, they always seem to scoop themselves out of you.

Jane Smiley

#18. My ex-wife has never broken 150. I wish she would stop telling people I taught her how to play golf.

Bruce Lansky

#19. You always nag the one you love

Bruce Lansky

#20. The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray.

Bruce Lansky

#21. If you want to go to the ball, go.

Bruce Lansky

#22. On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating. The other 20 percent lied.

Bruce Lansky

#23. The next thing most like living one's life over again seems to be a recollection of that life, and to make that recollection as durable as possible by putting it down in writing.

Benjamin Franklin

#24. Parenting: Nobody really wants the job, but everybody thinks they can do better.

Bruce Lansky

#25. Just go with it', he thought. 'You won't figure out anything if you give in to fear'.

James Dashner

#26. But ... she didn't know him, did she? Marigold was suddenly struck by how badly she wanted to know him.

Stephanie Perkins

#27. Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.

Bruce Lansky

#28. But life is long. And it is the long run that balances the short flare of interest and passion.

Sylvia Plath

#29. He jests at scars that never felt a wound.

Swami Vivekananda

#30. Despair makes us serve evil as much as good ...

Hadewijch

#31. My psychiatrist prescribed a game of golf as an antidote to the feelings of euphoria I experience from time to time.

Bruce Lansky

#32. Some golfers fantasize about playing in a foursome with Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus, and Sam Snead. The way I hit I'd rather play in a foursome with Helen Keller, Ray Charles, and Stevie Wonder.

Bruce Lansky