Top 36 Bite Me Funny Quotes
#1. You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous snake it'll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it's not even funny.
Steve Irwin
#2. I took a bite of lobster meat with rice. It was quite tasty. 'Arguing the morality of slaughter will send you into a tailspin of self-loathing every time.' 'Unless you're a vegan.' 'Uh-huh. But then you're a vegan and you don't count.
Julie Powell
#3. Sometimes I could almost hate you because you don't understand how much you mean to me, how dark and empty I was before. Solnyshko moyo.
Ann Aguirre
#4. Swiss cheese is the only cheese you can draw and people can identify. You can draw American cheese, but someone will think it's cheddar. It's the only cheese you can bite and miss. "Hey Mitch - does that sandwich have cheese on it?" "Every now and then!"
Mitch Hedberg
#5. He did it for that bubbling, champagne-in-the-veins high, that desire to be part of someone else's new life, someone else's realised potential.
Vampires must feel like that.
Jade Chang
#6. I want my lobster in bite-sized pieces! How dare you make me chew more than thrice?
Adam Jay Epstein
#8. I made $3,000 opening for the Neville Brothers, and they paid me in cash. That was a bad situation, because I bought ridiculous stuff. I bought a snake bite emergency kit. Then I said to my friends, "Don't even worry about snakes anymore". My friend stepped on a worm, and I said, "Lay down!"
Mitch Hedberg
#9. Home. The word circled comfortably in my mouth like bubble gum, swished around sweetly soft and satisfying. Home. Try saying it aloud to yourself. Home. Isn't it like taking a bite of something lovely? If only we could eat words.
Sol Luckman
#10. One of the interesting and exciting things about my job is watching technological ground being pioneered.
Guy Ritchie
#11. A proposition of geometry does not compete with life; and a proposition of geometry is a fair and luminous parallel for a work of art. Both are reasonable, both untrue to the crude fact; both inhere in nature, neither represents it.
Robert Louis Stevenson
#12. Scoot over, man. I don't like you that much."
"Dick. That's not what you said last night."
"Bite me.
Rachel Caine
#13. Julie Seagle: A typical espresso only has 1/3 the caffeine of a regular-size cup of coffee, so all you snobs can bite me. I can out-caffeine you any day. Of course, I can't pretend to be a giant using a non-giant's cup, but I'll deal.
Jessica Park
#14. "It's an old habit of mine, Wal'r," said the Captain, "any time these fifty year. When you see Ned Cuttle bite his nails, Wal'r, then you may know that Ned Cuttle's aground."
Charles Dickens
#15. I wish I had AIDS so I could bite somebody.
Jim Norton
#16. Tolerance! The virtue that makes one bite his tongue so that he can tear out his hair.
Criss Jami
#17. Rueful, bittersweet, funny, written with tenderness and bite, Merrill Feitell's stories, like so many classic short stories, are made from the plain and painful stuff of this world, and haunted by the possibility, and the impossibility, of a better one.
Michael Chabon
#18. He stared at her neck. Realization pulsed. He was looking at the bite he had given her. A hard length was growing against her hip. "So, is that your long, scaly, reptilian tail, or are you just happy to see me?" No, she did not just say that. Did she?
Thea Harrison
#19. Don't ever take a seven-year-old with you to a campaign dinner - they will embarrass you no end.
Ertharin Cousin
#20. I can do this, I lied to myself feebly. No one was going to bite me.
Stephenie Meyer
#21. Um ... " I mumbled, "We wait."
"What? Wait? Do you expect them to just come up here to the beach to get some moonlight?" He sneered as he took another bite of the eagle.
Grace Fiorre
#23. Dragos had a short temper at the best of times. Now he was liable to bite somebody's head off if they looked at him funny.
Thea Harrison
#24. Had be been Shakespeare, he would then have written Troilus and Cressidato brand the offending sex; but being only a little dog, he began to bite them.
Robert Louis Stevenson
#26. Bite me, Goth princess," Shane called from the back. "Not literally or anything."
"Maybe you should say that to Michael."
"Not funny, Eve," Michael said.
Eve raised her eyebrows and held her fingers up, measuring off about an inch. "Little bit," she said.
Rachel Caine
#28. Plastic gods are safe. Plastic gods don't mess with you. Plastic gods don't matter much; they fit in a small crevice of the life you want, the life you were planning to have. And when everything in life is working . . . plastic gods feel like enough.
Jennie Allen
#29. I love sitting down and having actual conversations. But I don't do that sound-bite, be-candidly-funny thing.
Kristen Stewart
#30. she was enveloped by a wave of calm. Funny how just seeing the giant logo of an apple with a bite out of it did that to her.
Michelle Gagnon
#31. Shane dragged Eve's suitcase into the room and dumped it on the floor beside her bed. Hey, Dark Princess? Here's your crap. Also, bite me.
Rachel Caine
#32. I'd like to sit down with him and pick his brain, just a tiny bite somewhere in the frontal lobe to get a taste of his thoughts -Warm Bodies
Isaac Marion
#33. Inviting a goblin to cross your threshold was a recipe for disaster, and certainly worse than doing the same with a vampire. With the latter all you got was a nasty bite, but the company, the extraordinarily good sex and the funny stories more than made up for it - apparently.
Jasper Fforde
#34. Good night. Don't let the boogeyman bite"
"Mindy, there is no boogeyman, "I said as I snuggled in to bed, " I hauled Carl in years ago.
Kate Danley
#35. Do you remember the pattern, Livia?"
"Blow ... lick ... bite." Livia wanted to say something cute, something funny, but he licked his lips and she forgot how to make any more words.
Debra Anastasia
#36. His eyes widened. Oh, hell, you think I'm going to let him bite me? No way. It's too risky and way too guy.
C.C. Hunter
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