Best Zero Punctuation Quotes

#1. Making the decision to leave Valve strikes me as right up there with turning down the throne to Narnia, but then call me an idealist, and I guess I probably wouldn't want to spend my whole life making new hats for Team Fortress 2 either.

Yahtzee Croshaw

#2. There's a new spell you get around level 50 called "Mirror Image" which might as well be called "Reap On, Ye Fucking Reaper Man".

Yahtzee Croshaw

#3. With small-town America it's always either zombies or communists isn't it.

Yahtzee Croshaw

#4. Readers of my online journal - I refuse to use the word blog because it sounds like something that lives on a riverbed and communicates through farts

Yahtzee Croshaw

#5. New Super Mario Br - I'm just gonna call it "Steve" from now on, all right?

Yahtzee Croshaw

#6. Could somebody please invade America? I know it's not exactly prime real estate and can just about produce corn and shitty TV, but someone really needs to help them blow off some steam.

Yahtzee Croshaw

#7. I picked it up 'cause the back of the box said the Kinect had "finally found its hardcore game" and I interpreted that as a challenge.

Yahtzee Croshaw

#8. It's difficult to root for America when the villains of the story live in a ditch and are armed with jagged rocks. At some point in recent years they looked up from their international heroism to realize they'd alienated the entire world.

Yahtzee Croshaw

#9. What can you do with a character who responds to everything by either punching it or deploying Bat Anti-thing Spray ... then punching it?

Yahtzee Croshaw

#10. Eats Shoots and Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation, by Lynne Truss.

John Golden

#11. What were they going to do after killing the president, declare themselves king?

Yahtzee Croshaw

#12. Horrors from beyond the veil of time and space are coming to eat us so shut up, sounds like a pretty good draw card for a leader to have.

Yahtzee Croshaw

#13. It creates an effective contrast, like riding a bike down a long and peaceful country road and every other hundred yards the bike turns into a bear.

Yahtzee Croshaw

#14. This is about as simple as games get. There isn't even the paltriest context for what you're doing; you're not exacting revenge on limbless pigs or feeding your pet bitch-lizard. You're a ninja, fruit is flying up in front of you, and fuck fruit. Sitting around all smug on trees and in pies.

Yahtzee Croshaw

#15. How exactly does a steam-powered gun turret differentiate between friend and foe? I wasn't aware that boiled water could form allegiances.

Yahtzee Croshaw