Top 53 Best Terry Pratchett Quotes
#1. Best way to get something done is to give it to someone who is busy, said Vetinari.
Terry Pratchett
#2. I wouldn't say I'm the best," she said, "but I can't think of anyone better, I have to say.
Terry Pratchett
#3. Miss Treason! Remember you have an appointment!"
It wasn't the best thing to say, but a lot better than: "You said you were going to die in about five minutes' time!
Terry Pratchett
#4. All tapes left in a car for more than about a fortnight metamorphose into Best of Queen albums.
Terry Pratchett
#5. Before you can become a writer, you have to be a reader, and a reader of everything, at that. To the best of my recollection, I became a reader at the age of 10 and have never stopped. Like many authors, I read all sorts of books all the time, and it is amazing how the mind fills up.
Terry Pratchett
#6. Nanny just tended to put a hot poultice on everything and recommend a large glass of whatever the patient liked best on the basis that since you were going to be ill anyway you might as well get some enjoyment out of it.
Terry Pratchett
#7. Oh, he did his best to make their short lives miserable, because that was his job, but nothing he could think up was half as bad as the stuff they thought up themselves.
Terry Pratchett
#8. She considered that the future was a frail enough thing at best, and if people looked at it hard they changed it. Granny had some quite complex theories about space and time
Terry Pratchett
#9. He always held that panic was the best means of survival; back in the olden days, his theory went, people faced with hungry saber-toothed tigers could be divided very simply into those who panicked and those who stood there saying "What a magnificent brute!" and "Here, pussy.
Terry Pratchett
#10. I've seen excitement, and I've seen boredom. And boredom was best.
Terry Pratchett
#11. Nude women are only Art if there's an urn in it," said Fred Colon. This sounded a bit weak even to him, so he added: "Or a plinth. Both is best, o'course. It's a secret sign, see, that they put in to say that it's Art and okay to look at.
Terry Pratchett
#12. It is said that the Devil has all the best tunes.
This is broadly true. But Heaven has the best choreographers
Terry Pratchett
#13. Thunder rolled ... It is said that the gods play games with the lives of men. But what games, and why, and the identities of the actual pawns, and what the game is, and what the rules are - who knows? Best not to speculate. Thunder rolled ... It rolled a six.
Terry Pratchett
#14. The Librarian liked being best man. You were allowed to kiss bridesmaids, and they weren't allowed to run away.
Terry Pratchett
#15. There are times when the best writing you can do is to go for a walk or drive, a long drive is ideal.
Terry Pratchett
#16. It's not all peeling grapes, being a handmaiden," said Ptraci. "The first lesson we learn is, when the master has had a long hard day it is not the best time to suggest the Congress of the Fox and the Persimmon. Who says you have to do anything?
Terry Pratchett
#17. Witches didn't have leaders, of course, but everyone knew that Granny Weatherwax had been the best leader they didn't have, so now someone else would need to step forward to generally steer the witches.
Terry Pratchett
#18. The best research is the research that you don't know that you are doing.
Terry Pratchett
#19. I find it best to worry about the little things. Things that can be helped by being worried about. Such as the making of clam chowder, (..)coffee. The bigger stuff, well, you have to handle that as it faces you.
Terry Pratchett
#20. Our garden was debated territory between five local cats, and we'd heard that the best way to keep other cats out of the garden was to have one yourself. A moment's rational thought here will spot the slight flaw in this reasoning.
Terry Pratchett
#21. I mean, it's one thing saying you've got the best god, but sayin' it's the only real one is a bit of a cheek, in my opinion. I know where I can find at least two any day of the week. And they say everyone starts out bad and only gets good by believin' in Om, which is frankly damn nonsense.
Terry Pratchett
#22. In thirty seconds you will wake up," said Aziraphale, to the entranced ex-nun. "And you will have had a lovely dream about whatever you like best, and - "
"Yes, yes, fine," sighed Crowley. "Now can we go?
Terry Pratchett
#23. And then you rushed off afterward because of that business with the barber in Gleam Street." "Sweeney Jones," said Vimes. "Well, he was killing people, Sybil. The best you could say is that he didn't mean to. He was just very bad at shaving -
Terry Pratchett
#24. I think perhaps the most important problem is that we are trying to understand the fundamental workings of the universe via a language devised for telling one another when the best fruit is.
Terry Pratchett
#25. The conversation of human beings seldom interested him, but it crossed his mind that the males and females always got along best when neither actually listened fully to what the other one was saying.
Terry Pratchett
#26. Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
Terry Pratchett
#28. A city like Ankh-Morpork was only two meals away from chaos at the best of times.
Terry Pratchett
#29. Tiffany found her mind filling up with an invisible gray mist, and in that thought there was nothing but grief. She could feel herself trying to push back time, but even the best witchcraft could not do that.
Terry Pratchett
#30. I regarded finding I had a form of Alzheimer's as an insult and decided to do my best to marshal any kind of forces I could against this wretched disease. I have posterior cortical atrophy or PCA. They say, rather ingenuously, that if you have Alzheimer's it's the best form of Alzheimer's to have.
Terry Pratchett
#31. The reward for toil had been more toil. If you dug the best ditches, they gave you a bigger shovel.
Terry Pratchett
#32. Dedication: My thanks to the people who showed me that opera was stranger than I could imagine. I can best repay their kindness by not mentioning their names here.
Terry Pratchett
#33. He helped the Librarian up. There was a red glow in the ape's eyes. It had tried to steal his books. This was probably the best proof any wizard could require that the trolleys were brainless.
Terry Pratchett
#34. He'd learned in recent days, though, that rather than drown in uncertainty it was best to surf right over the top of it.
Terry Pratchett
#36. And, while it was regarded as pretty good evidence of criminality to be
living in a slum, for some reason owning a whole street of them merely got
you invited to the very best social occasions.
Terry Pratchett
#37. Take it from me, whenever you see a bunch of buggers puttering around talking about truth and beauty and the best way of attacking Ethics, you can bet your sandals it's all because dozens of other poor buggers are doing all the real work around the place.
Terry Pratchett
#38. There was a bond, you see, when we were both young, but she wanted to be the best of all witches and I hoped one day to be Archchancellor. Alas for us, our dreams came true.
Terry Pratchett
#39. I think the best thing I ever did with my life was stand up and say I've got Alzheimer's.
Terry Pratchett
#40. Personally, I think the best motto for an educational establishment is: 'Or Would You Rather Be a Mule?
Terry Pratchett
#41. Incidentally, it's best not to argue with the nursing staff. I find the best course of action is to throw some chocolates in one direction and hurry off in the other while their attention is distracted.
Terry Pratchett
#42. where actual evidence had been a bit sparse he had, in the best traditions of the keen ethnic historian, inferred from revealed self-evident wisdom*
*Made it up
and extrapolated from associated sources** **had read a lot of stuff that other people had made up, too.
Terry Pratchett
#43. Whether you wanted it or not, you were born, you did the best you could, and then, whether you really wanted to or not, you died.
Terry Pratchett
#44. These weren't cheap modern books; these were books bound in leather, and not just leather, but leather from clever cows who had given their lives for literature after a happy existence in the very best pastures.
Terry Pratchett
#45. The price for being the best is always ... having to be the best.
Terry Pratchett
#46. She was never likely to say out loud, "I wish that I could marry a handsome prince," but knowing that if you did you'd probably open the door to find a stunned prince, a tied-up priest, and a Nac Mac Feegle grinning cheerfully and ready to act as best man definitely made you watch what you said.
Terry Pratchett
#47. I read the best works of some of the best satirists, and indeed best writers from the beginning of the Victorian era to about the 1960s. If you want to be a blacksmith, you go and watch the blacksmith working, and you work out what the blacksmith does.
Terry Pratchett
#48. Things like crowns had a troublesome effect on clever folk; it was best to leave all the reigning to the kind of people whose eyebrows met in the middle when they tried to think. In a funny sort of way, they were much better at it.
Terry Pratchett
#49. Best to get it off his chest. Own up like a man. Take his medicine. Cards on table. Beating about bush, none of. Mercy, throw himself on.
Terry Pratchett
#50. In life, as in breakfast cereal, it is always best to read the instructions on the box.
Terry Pratchett
#51. It is possible to live well with dementia and write best-sellers 'like wot I do.
Terry Pratchett
#52. I tell you, commander, it's true that some of the most terrible things in the world are done by people who think, genuinely think, that they're doing it for the best, especially if there is some god involved.
Terry Pratchett
#53. We play and are played and the best we can hope for is to do it with style.
Terry Pratchett
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