Arnold Schwarzenegger Conan Quotes

#1. Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says California's schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to vote for me.

Conan O'Brien

#2. It's been reported that some of Arnold Schwarzenegger's opponents have been circulating naked pictures of Arnold on the Internet. Yeah, in a related story, Arnold is leading the other candidates by four inches.

Conan O'Brien

#3. Yesterday, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he would run for governor of California. The announcement was good news for Florida residents who now live in the second flakiest state in the country.

Conan O'Brien

#4. Arnold Schwarzenegger has hired billionaire Warren Buffett as his senior economic advisor. And not to be outdone Gary Coleman announced his senior economic adviser will be Thurston Howell the Third.

Conan O'Brien

#5. Loosening sticky emotion is like unsticking glue - find the stuck spot and gently give it attention so it can come apart.

Deborah Sandella

#6. Arnold Schwarzenegger is in trouble after tapes surfaced of him saying negative things about other Republicans. Actually the Schwarzenegger tapes surfaced last year, but they weren't deciphered until this week.

Conan O'Brien

#7. God generally finds a way for like to meet like.

Publilius Syrus

#8. I was born when you kissed me. I died when you left me. I lived a few weeks while you loved me.

Dorothy B. Hughes

#9. In his apology, Arnold Schwarzenegger said he was sorry to the women that he groped, and he admitted that he had acted badly. Not only that, Arnold then apologized for acting badly in all of his movies.

Conan O'Brien

#10. It's rumored that Arnold Schwarzenegger's son is cheating on his girlfriend Miley Cyrus. After hearing about it Arnold said, 'That's my boy.'

Conan O'Brien

#11. Time travel is such a magic concept.

Matt Smith

#12. California has gone insane. According to the latest poll, Arnold Schwarzenegger is leading in California's governor's race by 34 points. You can tell that Governor Gray Davis is worried because he spent all day yesterday working on his pecs.

Conan O'Brien

#13. Arnold Schwarzenegger has been offered a role in a sequel to 'The Terminator.' In this one he travels back in time and kills the person who suggested he run for governor.

Conan O'Brien

#14. But little do or can the best of us: That little is achieved through Liberty.

Robert Browning

#15. No one is out to get you. It's just that ... people are monkeys.

Stan Brakhage

#16. This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him.

Conan O'Brien

#17. Arnold Schwarzenegger is gonna be the new governor of California. During his acceptance speech Arnold said 'I will not let you down.' Unfortunately, at the time Arnold was holding a woman over his head and looking up her dress.

Conan O'Brien

#18. Arnold Schwarzenegger is in some trouble. Today, the Los Angeles Times broke a story that quoted six women who claimed that Arnold Schwarzenegger sexually harassed them. When asked about it, President Clinton said 'six? That's not enough experience to be governor.'

Conan O'Brien