Andy Zaltzman Quotes

#1. Genghis Miliband roars up to the despatch box like a caged donkey.

Andy Zaltzman

#2. My whole life has been a huge mistake, but what a divine mistake - doing something that I adore.

Manolo Blahnik

#3. If Britons were left to tax themselves, there would be no schools, no hospitals, just a 500-mile-high statue of Diana, Princess of Wales

Andy Zaltzman

#4. You cannot build up a standing army and then throw it back into a box like tin soldiers. Armies equipped to the teeth with weapons, with highly developed instruments of murder and backed by their military interests, have their own dynamic functions.

Emma Goldman

#5. In China, I realized that if you visit often enough and learn the language, you will be assimilated, but you'll still be kept at arm's length; you'll always be looked on as a foreigner.

Abigail Washburn

#6. Yes, freedom is good, but arguably, grammar is better.

Andy Zaltzman

#7. I say, Watson,' he whispered, 'would you be afraid to sleep in the same room as a lunatic, a man with softening of the brain, an idiot whose mind has lost its grip?'
'Not in the least,' I answered in astonishment.
'Ah, that's lucky,' he said, and not another word would he utter that night.

Arthur Conan Doyle

#8. But the real secret to lifelong good health is actually the opposite: Let your body take care of you.

Deepak Chopra

#9. I am here because of love.

David Levithan

#10. It's hard to find a play that's right for me to do. Rather than waiting around for the right script to come along, I decided to write one myself.

Dan Castellaneta

#11. Nice mix of Tory MPs saying this issue shouldn't be used for petty political pointscoring, & Tory MPs trying to score petty political points.

Andy Zaltzman

#12. I'm going to walk out and bang the door hard

Edna

#13. Politicians are like God. No one believes in them, they haven't done anything for ages, and they give jobs to their immediate family

Andy Zaltzman

#14. He didn't like the earth, much less forests. He didn't like the sea either, or what ordinary mortals call the sea, which is really only the surface of the sea, waves kicked up by the wind that have gradually become the metaphor for defeat and madness.

Roberto Bolano

#15. Birds are an ecological litmus paper.

Roger Tory Peterson

#16. New Labour leader Ed Miliband announces plan to 'make this party slightly less unelectable by 2015'. He added: 'I am Ed, the Almighty One.'
Defeated brother David Miliband overheard muttering: 'Now I know how Wayne Christ felt after little Jesus came along.

Andy Zaltzman

#17. Problems are like your own shadow. If you look at them you will miss the sunshine. So.. Turn back.. towards the light.. and go on.

Vikrmn

#18. The younger will rule above father and brother and his reign alone can provide his kind true sanctuary.

Bella Forrest

#19. A jacketless Murdoch resumes his quiz, brushing off the assault as 'an overexcited autograph-hunter wanting to have his shaving foam signed.

Andy Zaltzman

#20. You could get used to anything if you had to. She knew that now.

Stephen King

#21. To all the revolutionaries fighting to throw off the yoke of tyranny around the world: look at British democracy. Is that what you want?

Andy Zaltzman