American Humorist Quotes

#1. Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.

Ambrose Bierce

#2. Beauty isn't worth thinking about. What's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. - Garrison Keillor, American humorist

Habib Sadeghi

#3. Fish got to swim, birds got to fly.

Oscar Hammerstein II

#4. No one knows who I am in Australia. They don't even know I am Australian, because 'The Secret Circle' is on in Australia, and I'm sure everyone's like, 'Oh, she's American. She's from, like, North Carolina.' Like, nobody knows me in Australia, I'm just telling you.

Phoebe Tonkin

#5. The second gift is Beauty. May your deeds reflect its depth.

Charlene Costanzo

#6. No one ever went broke by taking a profit.

Jesse Lauriston Livermore

#7. Since much of American taxes prior to 1763 went to support the local clergy, one humorist suggested the opportunity to vote on that. If the minister was turned out, he could open a tavern and preach to his customers if he served them liquor.

Colin G. Calloway

#8. Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for greater developments and greater riches and so on, so that children have very little time for their parents.
Parents have very little time for each other, and in the home begins the disruption of peace of the world.

Mother Teresa

#9. One tries to be an observer as an actor and indeed as a director because the small things, the give-away things are what are really interesting to a performer.

Janet Suzman

#10. Every sunrise is a new hope.

Lailah Gifty Akita

#11. He pressed her closer to his body for an instant, then slowly set her on her feet and stepped back, allowing her to get a look at him.

Trinity Faegen

#12. In painting, three things must be considered - the position of the viewer, the position of the object viewed, and the position of the light that illuminates the object.

Lynn Cullen

#13. I take on issues that stir my passions about the state of humanity and our world, and I deeply believe in the power of still images to change people's minds,

Ed Kashi

#14. What exactly constitutes an emergency in a modelling agency? Two girls fighting to death with a hair straightener?

Kate Forster

#15. You lose your habitual behavior, which allowed you to sort of zone out. You have to be here, you have to be now, you have to be present.

Sally Field

#16. The book of Jonah becomes an embarrassing and public reading of your family business. (page iii)

Michael Ben Zehabe

#17. If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be
a Christian. Samuel Clemens "Mark Twain", American author and humorist

George Washington

#18. One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly."
~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.

Andy Rooney

#19. My father is an expatriate American; he fell in love with New Zealand in his youth and never went home.

Eleanor Catton

#20. Poetry makes life what lights and music do the stage.

Charles Dickens