Akiva Schaffer Quotes

#1. I got invited to the Playboy Mansion with the Lonely Island guys after their first season on 'SNL,' and I sat in the corner drinking coffee and talking to Akiva Schaffer about what aspect ratio he was going to shoot 'Hot Rod' in. Like, that's what we talk about.

Bill Hader

#2. The bride Celina and her groom Omar, with Junior, now Dr. Sotomayor. As my first official act,

Sonia Sotomayor

#3. 'SNL' is our main priority because that was our first big break.

Akiva Schaffer

#4. Cartoons are the best stuff on TV. 'Wonder Showzen,' 'Aqua Teen,' 'SpongeBob,' and, of course, 'South Park' - one of the funniest shows ever made.

Akiva Schaffer

#5. All of our heroes did silly stuff early and got more serious as time went on. Steve Martin, Adam Sandler, Bill Murray. They got older, wiser, and made different choices.

Akiva Schaffer

#6. You learn, even at 'S.N.L.,' that the funniest scripts a lot of the time were written with the actor, because they know what makes people laugh. It's always going to be better if they own it.

Akiva Schaffer

#7. Nothing is better than the moment you have Michael Bolton dressed as Forrest Gump and you see it in action.

Akiva Schaffer

#8. 'The Watch' is first and foremost a comedy, but since I got to shoot the film using elements from the sci-fi genre, I wanted to make sure the alien didn't look goofy. I got to make a real alien that looks dangerous. That was a big plus for me because I got to do something really fun and cool.

Akiva Schaffer

#9. Human wholeness can never be found in the denigration of another

John Shelby Spong

#10. With a lot of those 'S.N.L.' shorts, we would do them just as we wanted to do them and then beep out the bad words. Since it was late night T.V., they let us get away with a lot.

Akiva Schaffer

#11. I don't know if you've read the Bible, and if you haven't, I think you may be in a better place than those of us who have read it so much that it has become stale.

Shane Claiborne

#12. I speak the password primeval.

Walt Whitman

#13. I take a lot of ladies' vitamins, because I never buy my own and that's what's in the house. More iron.

Akiva Schaffer

#14. When you love someone's everything with your everything then you truly are in love.

Stephen Richards

#15. I was a journalist when I made 'I'm British But ... ' I'd seen how important the media was in terms of defining Indians - after the riots in the '80s, I was like, 'Oh my God!'

Gurinder Chadha

#16. The great secret of getting what you want from life is to know whay you want and believe you can have it. Always do something for others, then ask God to help you get at it.

Norman Vincent Peale

#17. Even if the music industry simply gave away all their music people would complain that they don't have the bandwidth to download all the stuff - the problem would merely shift from availability to distribution.

Dan Farmer

#18. Compassionate the mountains rise
Dim with the wistful dimness of old eyes
That, having looked on life time out of mind,
Know that the simple gift of being kind
Is greater than all the wisdom of the wise.

DuBose Heyward

#19. As I kissed her the heat of her body increased, and it exhaled a wild, untamed fragrance.

Gabriel Garcia Marquez

#20. One time, my mom told us, 'No TV.' It was 3 P.M., and I was sneaking it in. She put her hand on the back of the TV to see if it was warm, and it was. So she pulled the cord out of the wall, opened the second-floor window, and just threw it out the window.

Akiva Schaffer

#21. I've always loved music videos - I used to make my own for bands like Pearl Jam. My favorite directors are Michel Gondry, Spike Jonze, and Patrick Daughters.

Akiva Schaffer

#22. What 'SNL' taught me that was useful on 'The Watch' was, only put in bad words if they can get a laugh - there was no need for swear words and beeps in places that weren't necessary. Those beeps should only be in there when they mean something and it's important to the joke.

Akiva Schaffer

#23. I'm all about 'Halo 2'.

Akiva Schaffer

#24. No man burdens his mind with small matters unless he has some very good reason for doing so.

Arthur Conan Doyle

#25. Government of limited power need not be anemic government. Assurance that rights are secure tends to diminish fear and jealousy of strong government, and by making us feel safe to live under it makes for its better support.

Robert H. Jackson