Tim Heaton Quotes

#1. Even-money that my liver lasts through my wife's metamorphosis to my mother-in-law.

Tim Heaton

#2. I have zero tolerance for people with zero tolerance.

Tim Heaton

#3. Yoga pants often answer questions I didn't ask.

Tim Heaton

#4. I'm not unlucky at love, just incredibly lucky with celibacy.

Tim Heaton

#5. The further your job is from the money, the closer you are to the bullshit.

Tim Heaton

#6. In the South, history clings to you like a wet blanket. Outside your door the past awaits in Indian mounds, plantation ruins, heaving sidewalks and homestead graveyards; each slowly reclaimed by the kudzu of time.

Tim Heaton

#7. Bureaucracies are a strange beast whose only goal is obesity.

Tim Heaton

#8. Magic of Southern expressions? Similes and metaphorical allusions. They are the yellow highlighter of conversation.

Tim Heaton

#9. Those in the know ain't telling me or you.

Tim Heaton

#10. If there is such a things as "race", there is only the Human one.

Tim Heaton

#11. To living in the South: If you've never had a Porterhouse, everything tastes like baloney.

Tim Heaton