Top 5 Tim Collins Quotes
#1. I've glued the letter directly into my diary, as it's so staggeringly imbecilic that any attempt to summarize its contents would make my brain leak out through my ears.
Tim Collins
#2. I wanted to tell him my new clothes were down to a medical condition, but when I tried to speak, all that came out was a high-pitched yapping noise.
Tim Collins
#3. Today I asked Chloe to be my girlfriend,and she agreed. I sank my teeth into her neck and drank from her jugular in the library at lunchtime. She's agreed to join me as a vampire and she's moving in next week.
April Fool!
Tim Collins
#4. Today was so pointless that when I tried to write about it a moment ago, my pen ran out because it couldn't take the boredom.
Tim Collins
#5. Hear that, Mr. De Pfeffel Cantab or whatever your name is? That's the sound of the villa in the South of France you could have bought crumbling to dust.
Tim Collins
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