Top 45 Samantha Schutz Quotes
#1. I am so close to the edge that I could vomit, so close that it would be easy to jump.
Samantha Schutz
#3. I don't like this idea
It is too much focus
on something I am trying to forget
I am afraid
that this attention to detail
will only fuel my anxiety
Samantha Schutz
#4. Most days I go home crying
and my dad tells me
welcome to the real world.
Samantha Schutz
#5. I have been telling myself
that these feelings are new,
but they aren't,
I just didn't connect them before
Samantha Schutz
#6. My heart is empty.
But my brain -
my brain is full.
It races with thoughts
of what could have been.
Samantha Schutz
#7. Even the pigeons are dancing, kissing,
going in circles, mounting each other.
Paris is the city of love,
even for the birds.
Samantha Schutz
#8. I don't think that I am happy,
but then again, I don't know.
Sometimes I get so caught up
in the process of living--
of eating, dressing, taking the train to work,
that I don't give it enough thought.
Maybe happiness is being content.
But is it really?
Samantha Schutz
#9. I cry and wonder
how I'm going to fall asleep
because sleeping means waking
and going through all this again
Samantha Schutz
#10. I am trying to find myself
in all of the chaos,
find something that I can call me
inside the screams and inside
the 'you shoulds' and 'you have to bes.
Samantha Schutz
#11. It would seem that losing the sadness would be a good thing, but it has been replaced by nothing -a quiet acceptance of this boring, everyday life. I think it's even worse than being miserable. At least being miserable is active.
Samantha Schutz
#12. I have only a general sense of the pain, of not being able to control my body and my thoughts. All I ever wanted was to have control- to be in charge of myself and the rest of the world.
Samantha Schutz
#13. I am left with a feeling and I cannot tell if it's emptiness or fullness.
Samantha Schutz
#14. An eye here, lips there, all misplaced and disjointed, all make sense.
Samantha Schutz
#15. I feel
empty
confused
hurt
numb
disoriented
mad
vulnerable
insignificant
blurry
tired
sweaty
overwhelmed
temporary
anxious
Samantha Schutz
#16. When kids make gross face,
parents say, "One day
your face is going to stick like that."
I'm afraid that one day
my panic's going to stick
and it's going to be my entire life,
every second,
and there will be nothing else.
Samantha Schutz
#17. It feels like I have a raging fever, like my insides are melting. This must be what it feels like the moment before you die.
Samantha Schutz
#18. This hurts more than anything else because I cannot stop it.
Samantha Schutz
#19. We need a voice from the outside because our own voices cannot be trusted.
Samantha Schutz
#20. It's good to know that I'm not the only unsuicidal person thinking about killing herself.
Samantha Schutz
#22. Putting the potential for damage into someone else's hands is scary. I have to have control, even if it is the power to self-destruct.
Samantha Schutz
#23. I feel like a marionette -
like someone else is pulling the strings
and I have no choice but to comply.
Samantha Schutz
#24. I am in a house. I am in one room and my anxiety is in another. It's close. I can feel it. I can go to it. But I won't.
Samantha Schutz
#25. Is this what all the years of schooling were for?
To prepare me for this
Sense of being stuck in the middle?
What was the point?
No one said I was going to be this sad.
No one said I would still be crying.
Samantha Schutz
#26. Protection does not come in a bottle. It is in me, in my actions, in my thoughts. I am the best medicine for myself. I am the cure and the disease.
Samantha Schutz
#27. But shouldn't a limitless possibility of bad open the spectrum for a limitless possibility of good?
Samantha Schutz
#29. When I try to save other people am I trying to save myself? Am I covering up for my lack of strength by putting people back together?
Samantha Schutz
#30. I crave broken men.
When I try to save other people
am I trying to save myself?
Am I covering up for my lack of strength
by putting people back together?
I am tired.
I want someone to save me -
build an intricate web
and place it beneath me in case I fall.
Samantha Schutz
#31. I have found a comfortable space- five feet six inches, one hundred and thirty pounds, with long fingers and toes, small breasts, and I like what I see.
Samantha Schutz
#32. Everyone is looking up toward us, but I am looking back.
Samantha Schutz
#33. It's weird to hear this again -
to hear how I was perceived
by people before they got to know me.
Some of the girls thought I was a bitch -
aloof, distant -
but now they see the truth.
Samantha Schutz
#34. I am not happy. I am not unhappy. I am frozen somewhere in the middle that is so much worse. I am nowhere. Nothing is happening and I am getting more and more sad.
Samantha Schutz
#35. I shut my eyes
and see a pocket of darkness.
I want to fold myself
flat and crisp,
slip inside of it
like a sheet of paper
into an envelope.
Samantha Schutz
#36. But waiting is killing me. Don't they understand? Don't they remember what it feels like? I want to have things settled. I can't stand the idea of not knowing.
Samantha Schutz
#37. The moment I drove away in September I felt like someone was following our car with an eraser, rubbing out my old life.
Samantha Schutz
#38. I want things so bad that I force them, push them until they tear.
Samantha Schutz
#41. The panic, a voice in the distance -loud enough to hear, but quiet enough to ignore.
Samantha Schutz
#42. So afraid to go outside,
to be happy,
to be with other people,
because they do not understand what it is like.
Samantha Schutz
#43. I miss how things were familiar with him, even if it was the familiar feeling of being let down.
Samantha Schutz
#45. All of a sudden the world opened up
and it's doing it again now.
In this garden there are so many stories,
so many other problems besides mine.
Samantha Schutz
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