Robert Morley Quotes

#1. The ball is man's most disastrous invention, not excluding the wheel.

Robert Morley

#2. If the critics were always right we should be in deep trouble.

Robert Morley

#3. I have little patience with anyone who is not self-satisfied. I am always pleased to see my friends, happy to be with my wife and family, but the high spot of every day is when I first catch a glimpse of myself in the shaving mirror.

Robert Morley

#4. To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.

Robert Morley

#5. Anyone who works is a fool. I don't work - I merely inflict myself upon the public.

Robert Morley

#6. The French are a logical people, which is one reason the English dislike them so intensely. The other is that they own France, a country which we have always judged to be much too good for them.

Robert Morley

#7. If people take the trouble to cook, you should take the trouble to eat.

Robert Morley

#8. A party: one arrives long after it's started, and one's going to leave long before it's over.

Robert Morley

#9. A cough is a symptom, not a disease. Take it to your doctor and he can give you something serious to worry about.

Robert Morley

#10. When I asked my accountant if anything could get me out of this mess I am in now he thought for a long time and said, 'Yes, death would help'.

Robert Morley

#11. Every child should be placed on a doorstep to sell something. It's the best possible training for life.

Robert Morley

#12. If in the paddock the owner is surrounded by a herd of young children, don't back his horse. But if the owner is accompanied by a beautiful lady, plunge to the hilt.

Robert Morley

#13. I have never willingly chased a ball.

Robert Morley

#14. Show me a man who has enjoyed his school days and I'll show you a bully and bore.

Robert Morley

#15. Beware of the conversationalist who adds "In other words."

Robert Morley

#16. Names were not so much dropped as thrown in a perpetual game of catch.

Robert Morley

#17. It is a great help for a man to be in love with himself. For an actor, however, it is absolutely essential.

Robert Morley

#18. The British tourist is always happy abroad as long as the natives are waiters.

Robert Morley

#19. Show me the man who has enjoyed his schooldays and I will show you a bully and a bore.

Robert Morley

#20. A man who has his initials on his pyjamas must be uncertain of himself. Surely you should know who you are at bed time.

Robert Morley

#21. I don't work. I merely inflict myself on the public.

Robert Morley

#22. We are articulate, but we are not particularly conversational. An Englishman won't talk for the sake of talking. He doesn't mind silence. But after the silence, he sometimes says something.

Robert Morley

#23. Fat men get knocked over by buses no earlier, nor later, than thin men. And I, for one, have buried most of my thin friends.

Robert Morley

#24. Most owners are at length able to teach themselves to obey their dog.

Robert Morley

#25. I am not ashamed that I was once a vacuum-cleaner salesman, only that I was a *good* vacuum-cleaner salesman.

Robert Morley