Robert Clark Quotes

#1. Embryonic cells, by their very definition, are not from your body. Right now, inside your body, you have everything necessary to build what you need now.

Robert Clark

#2. People tell me I shouldn't smoke because it is makes you look like a tit. I use exactly the same argument when people tell me they go to the gym.

Robert Clark

#3. The government are tightening up on ID for sales of tobacco and alcohol so I recommend that young people take more drugs.

Robert Clark

#4. I am with the Hot Sexy Banking Corporation. As all the other banks are going bust, they are just getting bustier.

Robert Clark

#5. I have always been homosexual and it surprises me that more people are not; women's pink bits are moist and forbidding and I enjoy those qualities much more in a Victoria sponge.

Robert Clark

#6. Yes, you may ask my name but only if you can tell me: are your thighs as fine as a fresh, crisp morning in early July?

Robert Clark

#7. Delia Smith needs to realise that when Nigella flirts with the camera she comes across as a slut. When Delia does it she comes across as an old slut.

Robert Clark

#8. I would say happy new year but it's not happy; it's exactly the same as last year except colder.

Robert Clark

#9. When asked why I don't believe in God I reply, quite simply, "vaginas".

Robert Clark

#10. I think Amy Winehouse's decision not to go to rehab was a bad one. In fact, I think it was the worst idea since Dodi Al Fayed said to Princess Diana, Ooh, look! A tunnel! Whack that seat belt off and let's have a fuck.

Robert Clark

#11. I will now sing another song for your pleasure. Now, if you like Phil Collins ... you should be shot in the head.

Robert Clark

#12. I was very surprised when last I bought a packet of cigarettes and had to request a refund as I read a warning that told me "smoking can cause fatal lung cancer".

Robert Clark

#13. I am completely opposed to the British National Party; I couldn't possibly support people who find fluorescent yellow flyers appealing.

Robert Clark

#14. Always buy pornographic books in hardback because they're easier to hold with one hand.

Robert Clark

#15. Above all others I pity the homeless: where can they go to masturbate?

Robert Clark

#16. My daughter told me she wasn't afraid of spider but that she was afraid of my smoking. She said that she was afraid of my dying. So i went downstairs, picked up a pair of pliers and a blowtorch and showed her what real fear was.

Robert Clark