Moms Mabley Quotes

#1. Honey, that Totie Fields is one well-fed white woman. When that gal sits around the house, she sits around the house!

Moms Mabley

#2. [On turning down an invitation to appear for four minutes on the Ed Sullivan Show:] Honey, it takes Moms four minutes just to get on the stage.

Moms Mabley

#3. It's no disgrace to be old. But damn if it isn't inconvenient.

Moms Mabley

#4. Ain't nothin' an ol' man can do but bring me a message from a young one.

Moms Mabley

#5. LOVE is like Playing Checkers. You have to know which Man to MOVE.

Moms Mabley

#6. Anytime you see me with my arms around an old man, I'm holding him for the police.

Moms Mabley

#7. If you don't want your children to know the truth about life don't send 'em to the theater to see Moms 'cause I'm gonna tell them THE TRUTH, hear?

Moms Mabley

#8. [On old age:] You wake up one morning and you got it.

Moms Mabley

#9. The teenagers aren't all bad. I love 'em if nobody else does. There ain't nothing wrong with young people. Jus' quit lyin' to 'em.

Moms Mabley

#10. I don't want nothing old but some old money. Buy me some young ideas. That's what I'm gonna do with it.

Moms Mabley

#11. A woman is a woman until the day she dies, but a man's man only as long as he can

Moms Mabley

#12. My husband was so ugly, he used to stand outside the doctor's office and make people sick.

Moms Mabley

#13. Use those brains that God put in your head.

Moms Mabley

#14. You know Moms has been accused of liking young men, and I'm guilty.

Moms Mabley

#15. Black women, white women- all of them. I'm colorblind. I don't know the difference. I only know you're a human being and you're my children.

Moms Mabley

#16. Advice to children crossing the street: damn the lights. Watch the cars. The lights ain't never killed nobody.

Moms Mabley