Top 43 Jordan Sonnenblick Quotes
#1. I was lost in a vast, storm-tossed sea of shifting rhythmic complexities.
Jordan Sonnenblick
#2. Did she want me to kiss her? How weird was this going to be? Should it be like a real kiss, with passion and stuff? Or more of an experimental, pecking kind of deal?
Jordan Sonnenblick
#3. Well your mom was right, in a way. What do you mean? He DID fall, right? So he wasn't safe on the stool. Thanks, Annette. Thanks a lot. That's exactly what I needed to hear right now. You're a very inspiring person, you know that?
Jordan Sonnenblick
#4. Did you really JUST fall, Jeffrey?
Why does everybody in my family talk in these dramatic CAPITAL LETTERS all the time? Why am I the only calm one?
Jordan Sonnenblick
#5. Chicks dig a dude who's sporting the latest eggplant turtleneck styles.
Jordan Sonnenblick
#6. My little blurb wasn't going to win me any speaker-of-the-year awards, but at least I hadn't tripped and fallen off the stage, crushing and killing three elderly jazz fans.
Jordan Sonnenblick
#7. If you could pick one word in the English language to describe the universe, what would it be? Why?"
Here's my response:
Unfair.
Jordan Sonnenblick
#8. I seriously think I could have sat in the middle of the kitchen floor rubbing two sticks together over a pile of dynamite blocks and gasoline cans, and my parents would be oblivious, as long as I was keeping myself occupied.
Jordan Sonnenblick
#9. Note to self: It's hard to attain a state of no-mind when you're incredibly pumped up on tea and sugar and have to urinate every three and a half minutes.
Jordan Sonnenblick
#10. Rehearsals and practice times by myself are like these little islands of 'Okay' in a vast sea of 'Holy Crap!
Jordan Sonnenblick
#11. It's all just hormones, my friend. You might as well just say you're in testosterone with somebody. And if you're really lucky, she might be in estrogen with you.
Jordan Sonnenblick
#12. Kind of a wuss? Kind of a wuss? Dude, you are, like, the Duke of Wussendorf. The Earl of Wussheim. In fact, wherever wusses meet and mingle, your name is whispered in hushed, reverent tones.
Jordan Sonnenblick
#13. You can be our critic. Would you dig that? (Yes, he was the last Man in America who could say "dig" with a straight face without referring to the process of using a tool to remove dirt from the ground.)
Jordan Sonnenblick
#14. Some kids do drugs. Some kids light stuff on fire. Me, I eat oats.
Jordan Sonnenblick
#15. He also said that if anyone did anything to mess up the rest of the testing, he was going to call 911 personally.
Yeah, like that wouldn't make it into the nightly news again: WHEELCHAIR-BOUND CANCER PATIENT ARRESTED FOR FREE SPEECH.
Jordan Sonnenblick
#16. Steven, I know I phrased that as a question, but it was really a command. Yes, but mine is ... ummm ... private. Private, Steven? Yes, Miss Palma. PRIVATE Steven? Again with the capital letters?
Jordan Sonnenblick
#17. And if there was one thing I'd finally figured out, it was that your mind is something you always CAN change.
Jordan Sonnenblick
#18. It was like seeing Bill Gates at age thirteen, times two. And half of him was wearing a cheerleader uniform. Yes, I know that's a weird image.
Jordan Sonnenblick
#19. You look like a handsome young man ... although you might want to zip your fly.
Mom!
What? Should I have not told you and left it for everyone else to notice at the dance?
Jordan Sonnenblick
#20. Renee was beautiful, but she was my friend now. On the other hand, Annette was my friend, but now she was beautiful. makes about as much sense as anything ever does with girls
Jordan Sonnenblick
#22. Instead of agonizing about the things you can't change, why don't you try working on the things you can change
Jordan Sonnenblick
#23. Mr. Watras asked me whether I was practicing, and I told him I was practicing my tissue basketball skills.
Jordan Sonnenblick
#24. What do you call a planet where bad guys stroll through life with success draped around their shoulders like a King's cloak, while random horrors are visited upon the innocent heads of children? I call it Earth.
Jordan Sonnenblick
#25. There are really no guidelines whatsoever, because this is the kind of thing that only happens to ME.
Jordan Sonnenblick
#26. (Yes teenage boys who are fine always cry on their mothers' shoulders until they leave a snot trail.)
Jordan Sonnenblick
#27. The only time I can ever remember Steven crying over any of it was after my treatment, when I tried to use my foot on his bass drum pedal, and we realized I could never play a drum set.
Jordan Sonnenblick
#29. Not, like, that, boychik, you sound like a herd of elephants charging through a music store.
Jordan Sonnenblick
#31. I don't feel brave. I feel like a galloping idiot, stumbling from crisis to crisis, barely able to speak to any normal person
Jordan Sonnenblick
#32. Or maybe ... their biggest fear is that they will get close to you again, and you'll go and drop dead.
Jordan Sonnenblick
#34. You'll learn one day that real apologies don't come with a BUT in the middle.
Jordan Sonnenblick
#35. It was a cheesy cheeseball, covered with Cheez Whiz and served on a bed of Cheez-Its. With a side of queso.
Jordan Sonnenblick
#36. I tucked him in with his stuffed-animal pet dog - cleverly named Dog-Dog, by the way.
Jordan Sonnenblick
#37. All right, Jeffy. Here are some big-boy pants. Put 'em on and crank out fifty miles for me. By the way, the iPod only has one playlist on it. Press play when you leave the starting line, okay?
Jordan Sonnenblick
#38. If you promise you will get better instead of dying, I promise I will, too.
Jordan Sonnenblick
#39. You are a wonderful son, and a wonderful man.
Yet another parent busting forth with the "man" thing! I'd have to check my chest for signs of hair when I got home.
Jordan Sonnenblick
#40. Who's that? That's the King. Who's he? The Duke. Who's she? The Princess. What do they call you? The Count. What does that make me? Umm ... how about the Peasant? And the name stuck.
Jordan Sonnenblick
#41. And that's how we live: wandering endlessly, concentrically outward, seeking in others a kindling spark of the love which has long lain, dormant, dark, unstoked in our own deepest souls.
Jordan Sonnenblick
#42. I dove on those papers like Sherlock Holmes on a cappuccino binge.
Jordan Sonnenblick
#43. But nobody ever tells you in advance when you should concentrate on the good times-that's why you're supposed to do it every day.
Jordan Sonnenblick
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