John Lloyd Quotes

#1. The name 'United Nations' was Franklin D. Roosevelt's idea. He rushed to tell Winston Churchill, who was towelling himself stark naked in his bathroom.

John Lloyd

#2. You can analyse a joke and say it's funny because this guy thought this was going to happen, and that happened, and it's surprising. But not all surprising things are funny.

John Lloyd

#3. The universe is fractal. The closer you look at it, the more interesting it becomes.

John Lloyd

#4. I do have at home the most ridiculous number of awards for what I have done, which is nice in terms of being patted on the back, yet it does cure you of caring about what other people say about you. Ultimately, you must have your own standard of what is good enough.

John Lloyd

#5. I have very strong views on TV. There's no diversity, there's no choice. Things are decided by committee.

John Lloyd

#6. I can help you shape your sitcom, I can help you think about what could make your sketch show better, but it won't help you get you a commission.

John Lloyd

#7. I'd never bought the idea that you don't lose money by underestimating the intelligence of the audience. Although perhaps I should add that I've never really made that much money.

John Lloyd

#8. I probably did pack a lifetime's work into the 1980s.

John Lloyd

#9. In 2010, the BBC spent nearly £230,000 on tea, but only £2000 on biscuits.

John Lloyd

#10. Jokes are a lot about meaning. I think if we understand what jokes mean and why they work, we'd understand everything else. Genuinely I do.

John Lloyd

#11. Albanian dogs go "ham ham." In Catalan, dogs go "bup bup." The Chinese dogs say "wang wang," the Greek dogs go "gav gav," the Slovenians "hov hov," and the Ukrainians "haf haf." In Iceland, it's "voff," in Indonesia, it's "gong gong," and in Italian, it's "bau bau.

John Lloyd

#12. Maybe the universe is a giant practical joke and we don't know the punchline.

John Lloyd

#13. You can't predict anything. How can you be certain about anything when everything is chaos and we're not in control?

John Lloyd

#14. A bite from the Brazilian wandering spider results in an erection that lasts for several hours.

John Lloyd

#15. I still don't like authority exercised without reason. But they laugh at you at Cambridge if you say that sort of thing. For them, the law is a system of rules not that different from mathematics.

John Lloyd

#16. I spoke Spanish when I was three, and then Maltese. I love dictionaries. I like foreigners. My dad moved every year before I was 14, and I learnt to like abroad. I'm not scared of change.

John Lloyd