Top 50 Jesse Petersen Quotes
#1. Balance the world in your relationship. No one person should be responsible for killing ALL the Zombies.
Jesse Petersen
#3. Be proactive; and ready to run if proactive backfires.
Jesse Petersen
#4. Um, didn't Mythbusters once do an episode about how you couldn't use sheets as a way out of prison?" I laughed. "I don't remember if they busted it or not.
Jesse Petersen
#5. Do fight unwinnable battles. Sometimes they're worth it.
Jesse Petersen
#6. Strive for more. More zombies, more fighting, more profit.
Jesse Petersen
#7. I stared at him. David, that's prison movies, not zombie movie.
Jesse Petersen
#8. Don't forget the little people, even when you want to.
Jesse Petersen
#9. Profits aren't everything. If you can get out with only your ass intact, that's pretty good too.
Jesse Petersen
#10. Don't fear change. Just fear everything and everyone else.
Jesse Petersen
#12. Yeah." Sven said. "The stuff she just said. Let's not get all killy.
Jesse Petersen
#15. I stopped as I thought of poor Jack on my bathroom floor, just another victim of Dr. Phil.
Jesse Petersen
#16. You are your partner are on the same side - it's the side of the living.
Jesse Petersen
#17. Share in your activities and interests. If you are going to kill zombies anyway, why not do it together?
Jesse Petersen
#18. Address one issue at a time.You can't load gasoline, pick up food, AND kill fifteen zombies at once
Jesse Petersen
#19. Building relationships is building business. Also, you sometimes need other people to kill all the motherfucking zombies.
Jesse Petersen
#20. Show physical affection. Nothing says "I love you" like bearing the entirety of your spouse's weight.
Jesse Petersen
#21. Put the small stuff into perspective. It's better to be wrong and alive than right but eating brains.
Jesse Petersen
#23. The question: What color is my parachute?
The answer: blood red, brains gray, sludge black.
Jesse Petersen
#25. Profits are everything; but to get them you have to catch a zombie.
Jesse Petersen
#26. Support your partner in their interests. You never know when batting practice, kung fu movie moves, or even a poker night might come in handy during a zombie infestation.
Jesse Petersen
#27. Talk openly about important issues like money, sex, and religion. They can affect your life and happiness a great deal. Especially when it comes to cults.
Jesse Petersen
#29. Strive for the 4 hour work week. The rest of the time run like hell.
Jesse Petersen
#30. Expand. Why stick to just killing zombies? Or killing them just one way.
Jesse Petersen
#31. Have you ever wanted to smash a car? Or break a television? Or maybe burn a big fire in the middle of a city square? If the answer is yes, then you'd have some fun during a zombie infestation. It's the little moments, you know?
Jesse Petersen
#32. And then, anger gave way to pure and simple job satisfaction. I mean, when I looked at a dead zombie head on a spike, I thought, Hey, I did that. Picasso would have been proud. Especially how I rearranged that eye
Jesse Petersen
#33. Admit when you're wrong. It doesn't fix a busted leg, of course, but it's a nice gesture none-the-less.
Jesse Petersen
#34. Because I'm not really certain she'd make the best travel partner through a zombie-infested city, he hissed. She gets confused by Scrabble.
Jesse Petersen
#35. Find creative ways to have fun together. Looting is really underrated.
Jesse Petersen
#37. I'd always thought the skinny little twerp was anorexic. But apparently what she needed wasn't a sandwich, as I'd often muttered as we left her office, but a manwich.
Jesse Petersen
#38. Think win-win. You probably won't get it, but think it.
Jesse Petersen
#39. Make requests, not demands. "Please" kill that zombie, honey, I'm out of bullets.
Jesse Petersen
#41. Don't discuss your relationship problems with friends. Your zombie problems are another story entirely.
Jesse Petersen
#42. Partnerships don't last forever. The zombie apocalypse just might.
Jesse Petersen
#43. Just because she tried to eat us doesn't mean she was wrong
Jesse Petersen
#45. Build mutual friendships. Just be ready to end them when your friends start trying to eat you.
Jesse Petersen
#46. So you killed him with what now?"
"I tried that Dr. Phil book at first" ... "And I finished it off with the toilet seat. Just so you know, you left it up again. That drives me crazy.
Jesse Petersen
#47. Give each other a compliment every day. Even when the undead attack, its nice to feel pretty. Or badass.
Jesse Petersen
#48. I should have known that having "end of the world" sex wouldn't solve our problems. Though, it was pretty great and I highly recommend it.
Jesse Petersen
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