Jen Mann Quotes

#1. And why do you have a pager? Are you a drug dealer?

Jen Mann

#2. Cheerleading was not a hit: "What am I doing here, Mommy? I'm freezing cold and I'm cheering for a bunch of boys to win a game! Who cheers for me?" (Exactly, Adolpha. Exactly.)

Jen Mann

#3. No mother in my community has a more widely recognized hobby than bitching about her child's school. I've come to realize that for many, school is a real drag. It gets in the way of raising a professional athlete.

Jen Mann

#4. I let my kids make decisions for themselves, but some things are not up for discussion. When it's cold, they wear a coat.

Jen Mann

#5. The minivan is the yoga pants of vehicles. But you know what? I love my yoga pants.

Jen Mann

#6. Excuse me?" I asked. I always say "excuse me" even though I heard perfectly well what the person said. I feel that by saying "excuse me," I'm giving them a chance to realize they're being an asshole, and they can change their attitude for the second attempt.

Jen Mann

#7. Someday will I have a mustache on my 'china, too?" She'd caught a glimpse of me in the shower that morning and was quite disturbed at the state of my " 'china," and wanted to know if there was a way to make hers look better.

Jen Mann

#8. I realize parenting is hard and boring at times and a four-hour break would be super, but this is the job we signed up for. Some days it sucks, but most days it's great.

Jen Mann

#9. I love my husband dearly, but there are days I wouldn't be opposed to burying his bludgeoned body in the backyard.

Jen Mann

#10. I'm the only one who leaves the house in my pajamas because I can't get my shit together, nor do I give a shit that I can't get my shit together.

Jen Mann

#11. People who tell me not to swear so much. Oh, fuck you, too.

Jen Mann