Jeffery Russell Quotes

#1. The air was thick and still, chilled. Water dripped somewhere, irregularly. Was the sun positioned perfectly to send ruddy rays of light through the swirling dust within, throwing their shadows long and stark across the floor? Of course it was.

Jeffery Russell

#2. Can't abide adventure. 'Adventure' is a word people use to put a shine on lack of preparation and surviving through dumb luck.

Jeffery Russell

#3. He attempted to bark the order and succeeded, albeit with more of a chihuahua result than intended.

Jeffery Russell

#4. Teapots are not generally known for their aerodynamic qualities, hence the proclivity for their use during breaks between fighting rather than as an actual weapon of war.

Jeffery Russell

#5. Mungo was a gnome. Disguised as a dwarf. The blatantly false beard was a giveaway. It appeared that Mungo had crafted it himself out of hair collected from a wide assortment of cars and then glued it to his face.

Jeffery Russell

#6. The Athenaeum always managed to have a scribe on hand whenever anything interesting seemed like it might happen. Durham avoided scribes, figuring that 'interesting' was not a word that was necessarily synonymous with 'pleasant'.

Jeffery Russell

#7. Eureka!" Mungo yelled. It was a word that wasn't actually a word but which he'd mathematically proved to exist in a parallel realm and he quite liked the sound of it when it came to needing something to yell in moments of cerebral triumph.

Jeffery Russell

#8. Cheese, where you takes liquid from a cow lady's business parts, mix it with a bit o' juices from a baby cow's fourth stomach and then let it grow all fuzzy-moldy for a few years, eh?

Jeffery Russell

#9. A lich guards his phylactery like an elf guards his salad.

Jeffery Russell

#10. Ten wagons to choose from and you pick the only one that has a human on it. Racist.

Jeffery Russell