Irvin S. Cobb Quotes

#1. Good motives butter no parsnips, and hell is paved with buttered parsnips.

Irvin S. Cobb

#2. Of all American cities of whatever size the most friendly on preliminary inspection, and on further acquaintance the most likable. The happiest-hearted, the gayest, the most care-free city on this continent.

Irvin S. Cobb

#3. To be born in Kentucky is a heritage; to brag about it is a habit; to appreciate it is a virtue.

Irvin S. Cobb

#4. If a woman likes another woman, she's cordial. If she doesn't like her, she's very cordial.

Irvin S. Cobb

#5. Middle age: when you begin to exchange your emotions for symptoms.

Irvin S. Cobb

#6. Men are vain; but they won't mind women working so long as they get smaller wages for the same job.

Irvin S. Cobb

#7. As I understand it, sport is hard work for which you do not get paid.

Irvin S. Cobb

#8. Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.

Irvin S. Cobb

#9. You had to hate the Colonel a whole lot to keep from loving him.

Irvin S. Cobb

#10. Until you go to Kentucky and with your own eyes behold the Derby, you ain't never been nowhere and you ain't seen nothin'!

Irvin S. Cobb

#11. A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings.

Irvin S. Cobb

#12. I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.

Irvin S. Cobb

#13. If I wanted to go crazy I would do it in Washington because it would not be noticed

Irvin S. Cobb

#14. If writers were good businessmen, they'd have too much sense to be writers.

Irvin S. Cobb

#15. A good storyteller is a person with a good memory and hopes other people haven't.

Irvin S. Cobb

#16. An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been discontinued.

Irvin S. Cobb

#17. A funeral eulogy is a belated plea for the defense delivered after the evidence is all in.

Irvin S. Cobb

#18. You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation.

Irvin S. Cobb

#19. Golf - a young man's vice and an old man's penance.

Irvin S. Cobb