Ian Shoales Quotes

#1. Sigmund Freud was a half baked Viennese quack. Our literature, culture, and the films of Woody Allen would be better today if Freud had never written a word.

Ian Shoales

#2. I don't like people who speak French in public places. This includes the French.

Ian Shoales

#3. Favorite color: I hate colors.

Ian Shoales

#4. Never ask a woman why she's angry at you. She will either get angrier at you for not knowing, or she'll tell you. Both ways, you lose.

Ian Shoales

#5. Everybody's excited about the new service economy, even though there is no actual service as near as I can tell.

Ian Shoales

#6. Football players, like prostitutes, are in the business of ruining their bodies for the pleasure of strangers.

Ian Shoales

#7. Americans will buy anything, as long as it doesn't cross the thin line between cute and demonic.

Ian Shoales

#8. It's a ridiculous profession and it's getting worse. It's becoming almost like palm reading or phrenology. It's been relegated to pop best sellers and talk shows. The only people that take it seriously are upper middle class people who are lonely and can afford to pay someone to listen to them.

Ian Shoales

#9. I know what love is: Tracy and Hepburn, Bogart and Bacall, Romeo and Juliet, Jackie and John and Marilyn ...

Ian Shoales

#10. They don't produce anything. All they do is guide you through the labyrinth of the legal system that they created - and they keep changing it just in case you start to catch on.

Ian Shoales

#11. Men want to put their signature at the bottom; women don't want to finish that letter.

Ian Shoales