Emily Nagoski Quotes

#1. Anyway, our fellow apes eat insects out of each other's fur; maybe bath bombs and body glitter are the modern human equivalent.

Emily Nagoski

#2. As Perel puts it in her TEDx talk, In desire, we want a bridge to cross.

Emily Nagoski

#3. But women aren't broken versions of men; they're women.

Emily Nagoski

#4. What can I say? Science is made of people, and people can be stupid.

Emily Nagoski

#5. Sex is an attachment behavior, reinforcing the social bond between adults. Sometimes it takes the form of passionate, joyful sex between people who are falling in love with each other. Sometimes it takes the form of desperate, grasping sex between people whose attachment is threatened.

Emily Nagoski

#6. we all have phalluses and urethras

Emily Nagoski

#7. This means intentionally adding distance that creates an edgy instability or uncertainty, a slight and enjoyable dissatisfaction.

Emily Nagoski

#8. It's not about weight or size or fat - weight is a measure of gravity and nothing else - it's about living joyfully inside your body, as it is, today.

Emily Nagoski

#9. Because you've dealt with the stressor," I said, "but not the stress. Your bodies still think you're being chased by the lion.

Emily Nagoski

#10. Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships by Sue Johnson,

Emily Nagoski

#11. This is what science can do for us, if we let it. If offers us an opportunity to lower our defenses and experience the ways that we are all connected.

Emily Nagoski

#12. Love is having. Desire is wanting. And you can want only what you don't already have.

Emily Nagoski

#13. The problem isn't the desire itself, it's the context. You need more sexually relevant stimuli activating the accelerator and fewer things hitting the brake.

Emily Nagoski

#14. Should" is all about what you're "doing wrong.

Emily Nagoski

#15. The best meta-emotion predictor of wellbeing is a variable known as nonjudge.

Emily Nagoski

#16. And the answer is, of course, "Ugh, patriarchy.

Emily Nagoski

#17. We know by now that there's no such thing as normal - or rather, that we're all normal. We're all made of the same parts as everyone else, organized in a unique way. No two alike.

Emily Nagoski

#18. We also know that the brain can handle only a limited amount of information at a time; at its simplest, we can think of stress as information overload, so when there's too much happening, the brain starts to triage, prioritizing, simplifying, and even plain old ignoring some things.

Emily Nagoski

#19. Nonjudging is neutrally noticing your own internal states.

Emily Nagoski

#20. What you pay attention to matters less than how you pay attention.

Emily Nagoski

#21. Physical activity is the single most efficient strategy for completing the stress response cycle and recalibrating your central nervous system into a calm state. When people say, 'Exercise is good for stress,' that is for realsie real.

Emily Nagoski

#22. Emotions are tunnels. You have to go all the way through the darkness to get to the light at the end.

Emily Nagoski

#23. Medieval anatomists called women's external genitals the "pudendum," a word derived from the Latin pudere, meaning "to make ashamed." Our genitalia were thus named "from the shamefacedness that is in women to have them seen."1

Emily Nagoski

#24. Sexual violence often doesn't look like what we think of as "violence" - only rarely is there a gun or knife; often there isn't even "aggression" as we typically think of it. There is coercion and the removal of the targeted person's choice about what will happen next.

Emily Nagoski

#25. It's like one day I just decided that it was all bullshit. Who are they to tell me I'm not amazing exactly as I am?

Emily Nagoski