E.V. Iverson Quotes

#1. Were faulty embalming and premature decay a dead hypochondriac's worst fears?

E.V. Iverson

#2. you'd think being turn into a monster would have some perks - some monstrous super powers like super spidey senses or cool fangs - at least something more than a skin condition and eating disorder.

E.V. Iverson

#3. If it ain't fast or sexy, it damn well better taste good.

E.V. Iverson

#4. As it turns out, if you freeze improperly packed human remains (i.e. balling them up willy-nilly and jamming them under a couple frozen turkeys and a max pack of Hot Pockets,) just like with animal remains...

E.V. Iverson

#5. What's that supposed to mean, 'a passin' hunger?' I ATE my fuckin' girlfriend! An' we ain't talkin' little fuckin' love bites or a bit of a chew - I went wild kingdom on her ass! It was like a pig pickin' after fuckin' Lent-FUCK!

E.V. Iverson

#6. In comparison to cannibalism and grave robbing, he reckoned lying to the dead was pretty mild on his growing list of sins.

E.V. Iverson

#7. Sure, I'll just run out to the Piggly Wiggly and ask the butcher for a properly aged finger bone.

E.V. Iverson