Dan Adams Quotes

#1. I missed the morning AMTRAK and then, after lunch, missed a few more trains while mistakenly looking for the PMTRAK.

Dan Adams

#2. Once it took so long for me to wrap a present that it became a past.

Dan Adams

#3. My dear wife is two years, three months, and seven days older than I am. I told her if she pisses me off enough, I'm going to figure out the hours, minutes, and seconds.

Dan Adams

#4. One day I fell off a toilet and a stool.

Dan Adams

#5. My plans were put aside by the prospect of her return. Then she returned, to say that she had other plans.

Dan Adams

#6. While your sense of humor is largely non-existent, the one saving grace is that your face, at least, is funny; and I silently thank you for this, and nothing more.

Dan Adams

#7. Sarcasm is a shaving cream pie waiting at the bottom of a guillotine's basket.

Dan Adams

#8. For lunch my colleagues and I each ate the equivalent of a double banana split. I told my wife I had two bananas for lunch...I failed to mention I had to eat my way through five pounds of ice cream to get to those bananas.

Dan Adams

#9. Picnics in the park with you: barbecue and miscue.

Dan Adams

#10. ...And somewhere along the line in my literary career, I discovered the differences between grammar and grandpa, and write from wrong.

Dan Adams

#11. [We] are, in fact, so close to the amusement park that [our] toilet is referred to as "the log flume.

Dan Adams

#12. We didn't realize it at the time, but what we carried with us were colorful, stringers-full of memories, which now hang in our heads like trophy trout above the fireplace mantel.

Dan Adams