Top 20 Bruce Lansky Quotes
#1. Some golfers fantasize about playing in a foursome with Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus, and Sam Snead. The way I hit I'd rather play in a foursome with Helen Keller, Ray Charles, and Stevie Wonder.
Bruce Lansky
#2. My psychiatrist prescribed a game of golf as an antidote to the feelings of euphoria I experience from time to time.
Bruce Lansky
#3. Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.
Bruce Lansky
#4. Parenting: Nobody really wants the job, but everybody thinks they can do better.
Bruce Lansky
#5. On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating. The other 20 percent lied.
Bruce Lansky
#7. The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray.
Bruce Lansky
#9. My ex-wife has never broken 150. I wish she would stop telling people I taught her how to play golf.
Bruce Lansky
#10. When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: 'Fetch!'
Bruce Lansky
#11. I can't possibly go to school today," Michelle pouted, "I have nothing to wear." Her
Bruce Lansky
#12. Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.
Bruce Lansky
#13. We learn so many things from golf: how to suffer, for instance.
Bruce Lansky
#14. In Minnesota it's so cold some nights you have to wear two condoms.
Bruce Lansky
#15. The only place you're sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother.
Bruce Lansky
#17. What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole?
Bruce Lansky
#18. I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine.
Bruce Lansky
#19. I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight.
Bruce Lansky
#20. I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing. Now I go to practice slicing without swearing.
Bruce Lansky
Famous Authors
Popular Topics
Scroll to Top
