Bobcat Goldthwait Quotes

#1. Fame is like a big eraser. It's strange, now that I'm famous. In my parents' opinion, all the shitty things - all the wreckage of my past - is erased. Now it's like I was never the kid who got arrested. Now I'm a wonderful son.

Bobcat Goldthwait

#2. Quit everything until you find something that you just cannot quit.

Bobcat Goldthwait

#3. America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.

Bobcat Goldthwait

#4. Animals may be our friends, but they won't pick you up at the airport.

Bobcat Goldthwait

#5. How can you be a vegetarian atheist and own a gun? Well, that's who I am.

Bobcat Goldthwait

#6. When I was a baby I had no teeth. I couldn't get a job and I couldn't eat meat.

Bobcat Goldthwait

#7. Well, I'm an uncle now ... don't know if I'm a good one. My nephew asked me the difference between a hamster and a gerbil and I told him I thought there was more dark meat on a gerbil.

Bobcat Goldthwait

#8. If you ever see me at a boat show or at a car show, blow my head off.

Bobcat Goldthwait

#9. That's human nature - we want to completely rewrite history so it can be comfortable. Without getting too profound, I'm pretty sure that's where the invention of the afterlife comes from. "We don't really become worm food. We go to a magical place with bunnies and rainbows."

Bobcat Goldthwait

#10. If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.

Bobcat Goldthwait

#11. Go on, try weasel, try squirrel; it tastes like chicken, it tastes just like chicken! If it tastes just like chicken, why don't you gimme some damn chicken?

Bobcat Goldthwait

#12. I can't feel my face. I mean I can touch it. But I can't feel it inside.

Bobcat Goldthwait

#13. I retired from acting the same time they stopped hiring me. But following my own thing of making these small indie movies has been the happiest I've ever been.

Bobcat Goldthwait

#14. In my first stand-up acts there wasn't material even. You know, I'd go on stage and cry and read a Dear John letter or gut fish on stage. I could be odd - and it's what interested me as a comedian.

Bobcat Goldthwait

#15. I lost my job, well I didn't lose it, I know where it is, there's just some other guy doing it now.

Bobcat Goldthwait

#16. I'm against gun control. It's not that I like guns, it's just that allowing Americans to have guns will increase the chances that a bunch of rednecks will blow each other's heads off.

Bobcat Goldthwait

#17. Don't hoo, hoo, hoo me. There's a fine line between hoo, hoo, hoo and hiel, hiel, hiel.

Bobcat Goldthwait

#18. What's the difference between a Dice Clay concert and a Klan rally? Nothing. Trick question.

Bobcat Goldthwait