Betsy Schow Quotes

#1. Hope is like a balloon. It seems like it swells up just so someone else can pop it in your face.

Betsy Schow

#2. A ferocious growl drew my gaze to the back of the room, where a hairy beast wore a yellow ball gown. I tried to block out the memory of Beauty in that dress earlier this evening.

Betsy Schow

#3. There is nothing in there that doesn't deserve to get burned

Betsy Schow

#4. Though all the major fairy tale families were coming tonight, I wouldn't exactly call any of them friends. Aside from the once-a-year gathering, I never spoke to any of them, except the occasional chat on Flitter with Cinderella, since we shared a love of designer footwear.

Betsy Schow

#5. That's the thing about love: the best kind isn't easy of instant, and you often get roughed up a bit on the way.

Betsy Schow

#6. No way. I would rather lick a toad. I would let a wicked old hag bake me into gingerbread before I married this son of a bas-ilisk who had the gall to look amused while I hyperventilated.

Betsy Schow

#7. An ill-worded wish is worse than a curse...

Betsy Schow

#8. True, but one makes you a monster. The other one just makes you an idiot. Which one is it?

Betsy Schow

#9. No need to panic. I was the heroine in this story, so everything would get fixed somehow.

Betsy Schow

#10. He flipped his spiked tail straight into the air in what could only be interpreted as an obscene gesture.

Rexi duplicated it in human form. "Right back atcha.

Betsy Schow

#11. Rule #17: To rescue a princess from magical imprisonment, a handsome prince must first slay the dragon. If one is not available, a large iguana will do in a pinch."
- Definitive Fairy-Tale Survival Guide, Volume 1

Betsy Schow

#12. Because a cage is still a cage, no matter how big or glittering the bars are.

Betsy Schow

#13. Girl of Emerald, no man can tame. Burn down the world, consumed by flames.

Betsy Schow

#14. Snark is a fabulous defense mechanism.

Betsy Schow

#15. I'm an intern with the Union of Fairy Godmothers...

Betsy Schow

#16. Verte was the kingdom's head sorceress, oracle, palace grump, and the only reason I hadn't died of sheer boredom.... One time, I blew up her caudron trying to make soup. In retaliation, she sent me a billy goat that ate my entire closet's contents.

Betsy Schow

#17. Dear Grimm, we're not in Emerald anymore." I started to hyperventilate.

Rexi remained sprawled on her back. She barely opened an eye at my hysterics. "Duh.

Betsy Schow

#18. True love is like a stalactite meeting a stalagmite. Complete opposites, but with time, calcium, and a healthy drip system, they meet in the middle. Or one crushes the other. It really depends.

Betsy Schow

#19. What manly task may I perform for you?"
"If you care for me at all, you'll slay a dragon."
"Such a simple task to prove my devotion? For you, I will gladly take up this quest. Why, by the age of ten, I had already felled my first ogre.

Betsy Schow

#20. There's really nothing to fear but fear itself. And trolls. Fear and trolls. Oh, and I guess gigans and dragons too. And can't forget wicked witches. Yeah, I guess there really is a lot to fear.

Betsy Schow

#21. You never know what you're gonna find under those covers - Grandma or the wolf." Little Red, excerpt from Tales From the Hood

Betsy Schow