Benny Hill Quotes

#1. Why would I make one woman so miserable when I can make so many women very happy?

Benny Hill

#2. The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb.

Benny Hill

#3. Do unto others, then run.

Benny Hill

#4. Live everyday as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.

Benny Hill

#5. Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?

Benny Hill

#6. Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe.

Benny Hill

#7. Before I met her, I drank and swore without reason ... now I have a reason.

Benny Hill

#8. Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

Benny Hill

#9. I'm not against half naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be.

Benny Hill

#10. I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: 'Oh well,' and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.

Benny Hill

#11. I never yell, I never tell, but I'm grateful as hell.

Benny Hill

#12. Roses are reddish
Violets are bluish
If it weren't for Christmas
We'd all be Jewish.

Benny Hill

#13. Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

Benny Hill

#14. Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

Benny Hill

#15. That's what show business is, sincere insincerity.

Benny Hill

#16. The pen is mightier than the sword - It's also easier to write with!

Benny Hill

#17. Did you ever notice that everyone in favour of birth control has already been born ?

Benny Hill