Zach's Quotes

#1. Marcus directed his response to Zach. "Do you have something against shirts?" His eyes dropped to Zach's bare chest.
"Yes," Zach retorted.
Tracy laughed. "I can live with that."
"Me too," Sean's Second, Nichole, said with a smile.

Dianne Duvall

#2. And when the man who commanded a nuclear arsenal and the greatest military in history was frightened, it meant that something other than human intervention was required. That, unfortunately, was part of Zach's job every day now. That was where Nathaniel Cade came in

Christopher Farnsworth

#3. Do you ride?"
She smiled, her fingers lightly sliding around his ear. "Not since I hit that barn"
Zach's hands paused on her flesh. "You hit a barn?"
"I had to avoid the cow

Shelly Laurenston

#4. His eyes dropped to Zach's bare chest.

Dianne Duvall

#5. I suppose you should her it from me that I met your mother" he smiled a litte sadly. "well ... When I say met I mean one time I tried to kill her."
"Do me a favor" Zach's voice was low and dark and dangerous. "Next time don't just try

Ally Carter

#6. It's a good thing I'm a professional and could see the pure genius talent behind the raw sexual beauty.

Zach Braff

#7. For me, acting in scenes with other people is like playing soccer with a bunch of legless five year olds. It's not really fair to them, but what else can I do, you know?

Zach Braff

#8. Dude, writing, acting and directing are such easy jobs. But to do them all as awesomely as Zach Braff does, well that ... that's something.

Zach Braff

#9. Complete garbage. It's like Garden State, but in outer space.

Zach Braff

#10. You fight yourself, Zach. And you keep fighting yourself. And it's killing you because you're fighting the best part of yourself.

Benjamin Alire Saenz

#11. Zach had been on the receiving end of a few of Lanning's ass-chewings back in the day. They were epic sagas of righteous fury and perfectly applied touches of profanity. It was like being verbally disemboweled.

Christopher Farnsworth

#12. I know I probably should be sad about my mother's cancer ... but she still hasn't seen The Last Kiss, you know?

Zach Braff

#13. I'm writing a book about Siamese Twins that are attached at the nose. It's called: Stop Staring at Me!

Zach Galifianakis

#14. A lot of people consider 9/11 to be a tragedy, and in some ways it is, but I think there's also opportunity for a lot of humor there.

Zach Braff

#15. People still make New Year's resolutions? Wow. I figured those were pointless once I perfected myself by directing, writing, and acting in Garden State. I guess it makes sense, though. It gives people a chance to hope that they can become as great as me someday.

Zach Braff

#16. Zach stole my stuff!" "No, I didn't!" "It was here before I went to the bathroom and now it's gone!" Andy reached over and cuffed the boy. "That will be quite enough," Mrs. Crabtree intervened. "Andy, go to the principal's office. Now.

L.R.W. Lee

#17. I'm a busy guy; I just get a lot of people that sound like me to go out and visit them. They don't know the difference and, let's face it, they aren't going to be paying to see my movies anytime soon.

Zach Braff

#18. At this point I feel like I could go out and accomplish anything. I'd just love to see Will Smith's face if he found out I, Z-Braff, have the number one rap album in the country. That'd show that no-talent uncle tom.

Zach Braff

#19. We can not underestimate the potential harm North Korea's capabilities can cause for the rest of the world.

Zach Wamp

#20. It's kind of ironic that my character is a doctor who acts very gay with his best friend. I don't see how gays could ever be doctors, they spend too much time whining about everything. Just get off your soapbox and go back to designing floral arrangements

Zach Braff

#21. I'm not saying eating babies should be legal, but when they're so delicious, what's the harm in it? I don't know what tastes better, their innocence or their gooey rib butter.

Zach Braff

#22. The gremlins are clearly the ones have the most fun in the film, trashing the town, going to the bar, smashing things, etc. It's all gleeful chaos, which makes the movie fun.

Zach Galligan

#23. My New Year's resolution was to stop saying 'You go, girl' to myself.

Zach Galifianakis

#24. The congressmen and senators used to go have a drink in D.C. They would disagree all day long, but they would find that time to sit down and learn about each other personally. I think that's totally wiped out; I don't think it really exists anymore.

Zach Galifianakis

#25. I think the Bible should be re-written for today's society. We can call it 'Scrubs.'

Zach Braff

#26. I've always preferred Marvel over DC. I just relate to their characters better. I mean look at Wolverine, at first he was just a bit player in an ensemble cast. Now he's the only reason people read X-Men. Just like me and Scrubs.

Zach Braff

#27. In the age of the mp3, you gotta make the package special, something that's worth owning.

Zach Condon

#28. I called the great French violinist Jean-Luc Ponty and I said 'So, who's the new cat? Who's got the stuff? And he said Zach Brock.

Stanley Clarke

#29. My stand-up is more like how I am in real life. I don't really do a character thing in stand-up. It's just a bunch of sentences that are supposed to be funny.

Zach Galifianakis

#30. Do you ever do something, and then think to yourself: That's So Raven?

Zach Galifianakis

#31. I'm the most mellow person offstage. I think it's just, going onstage lets me get out some frustration that I'm too shy to do in real life. Instead of doing it in private, I'd rather do it in front of 1,000 people who've paid $25 to see me lose my mind.

Zach Galifianakis

#32. I been in plenty of fights and even more almost-fights. It's all about posturin'. You just gotta act tough."
"What if it didn't work? What if he took a swing at you?"
"Sensai say, 'Big like door, swift like glacier'.

Marie Sexton

#33. I really don't know why we need a whole month dedicated to blacks. It's not like they're the only ones that suffered. I mean, what about us whites? We're the ones that have to deal with these monkeys everyday, but you don't see us demanding a whole month to ourselves.

Zach Braff

#34. I fall in love with someone about twice a week, but I'm starting to think that's a common problem with writers, that they have a dangerous excess of love that they give away to near strangers or turn inward on their private little worlds.

Zach VandeZande

#35. I'm sure lots of actors and creative people go through this, where you have some weeks where it's all going according to plan and some weeks where you're super frustrated.

Zach Braff

#36. I love music and I love musicians and when I hear something that's great, I always say it's like you go to a movie and you can't wait to tell your friends about it.

Zach Braff

#37. My tears cure cancer too, it's just that I laugh at cancer patients.

Zach Braff

#38. Retarded kids are the best. When they ask for an autograph I just fake sign a picture and tell them that it's in invisible ink and it will show up later. They totally buy it. It saves me a fortune in markers.

Zach Braff

#39. It's just Gods way of getting babies to heaven faster!

Zach Braff

#40. Its not that I'm in love with myself, I'm just trying to pick up everyone else's slack.

Zach Braff

#41. I mean, I know thousands of people died and everything, but if it happened today, there's just no excuse. They'd be much safer inside a movie theater watching one of my movies instead of burning alive in a collapsing skyscraper.

Zach Braff

#42. Applied war is where the money's at. I don't mean that figuratively. Defense is 140% of the UVE budget. Offense is twice that. This is possible because there is no budget for math education.

Zach Weinersmith

#43. Focus. She's Maddie. Your friend. Would you eyeball Keith or Dane's butt like that? ~ Zach

Monique DeVere

#44. I want to do another reality show. It's based on The Mole. It's about sexually transmitted diseases. It's called "God, I Hope That's a Mole."

Zach Galifianakis

#45. Have you ever noticed that folks will say 'Look, he has his mama's eyes' or 'his daddy's nose,' but they never say 'We're so proud! Look! He's hung just like grampa'?"
- Zach McKnight

Suzie Quint

#46. Let's face it, it's only called Scrubs because I'm saving 'Zach Braff' for my autobiography.

Zach Braff

#47. I really love young Tom Hanks. He's just one of my favorites. He's a great, quirky every-man. I also love Zach Braff. I really love actors that are quirky and interesting, that sort of try to portray 'normal' people.

Jake Epstein

#48. My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing.

Zach Galifianakis

#49. I'm not an amazing trumpet player. It's mostly smoke and mirrors. You shake the trumpet and it starts to vibrate in a ridiculous drunken way, or you flop notes at the right time and you don't have to play stuff that would take seven years to learn.

Zach Condon

#50. Well it's not that I HATE them, but honestly if I saw two homeless people begging for money, one white and one black, and I only had one quarter ... Well I'd probably keep it actually.

Zach Braff

#51. One of the things about Scrubs is that it's about great friendships and ... as broad and as serious as we get it's always really about friendship. It's about getting through the challenging parts of your life with the help of your friends.

Zach Braff

#52. At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?

Zach Galifianakis

#53. My hands are huge. When I was on 'Scrubs,' Zach Braff used to make fun of them all the time. And now I made some list. I guess Jennifer Garner is on the top of the list for best hands and I'm fourth down. But that's for people who really like an NBA star's hands.

Eliza Coupe

#54. I think that there's a proliferation of music that is done entirely in the bedroom for an Internet audience, but there's no way in hell that you could actually kill off a live show, and its importance in the creation of music - it's just impossible.

Zach Condon

#55. I had a dream once. I wanted to do a line of cocaine off a hooker's ass. That's when I realized, 'Hey, I'm freakin' Zach Braff.' I did it the next morning.

Zach Braff

#56. I'm sick of people saying I hate blacks, women, and gays. It's false and slanderous. Everyone who knows me knows I hate the Chinese.

Zach Braff

#57. It's ... it's such a weird thing. After Garden State, so many companies wanted to make my movies, and after The Last Kiss, I realized people would make anything I was in. As long as I keep this up I'll be swimming in chubby indie girl pussy.

Zach Braff

#58. Hollywood's built on insecurity. People are trying to prove things. And I probably have that. I probably do. Probably guilty of it, in a way.

Zach Galifianakis

#59. I'm not actually an arrogant guy. It's just that, truthfully, nobody else can really compare to me.

Zach Braff

#60. You always know when a real inspiration is behind the melody, arrangements, even lyrics. And I know that's really vague, but it's true.

Zach Condon

#61. That image is a couple different people's homes that I knew growing up.

Zach Braff

#62. I don't like to have anybody tell me to be in a place at certain times. That's kind of the advantage of stand up. You're self-employed.

Zach Galifianakis

#63. I think slavery was an awful, awful period in our history, but when I look at what's become of black culture since emancipation, I think you have to admit, maybe the Confederacy was on to something

Zach Braff

#64. I've never been in love ... But I imagine it's similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food

Zach Galifianakis

#65. Incognito mode? What do they have to hide? Zach Braff doesn't have anything to hide - Zach Braff lays it all out there for everybody to see. That is Zach Braff's secret to Zach Braff's success.

Zach Braff

#66. Azhar Usman is very funny, deeply spiritual, and extremely hairy. He's like Zach Galifianakis meets Deepak Chopra-and funnier than you'd expect that combination to be.

Russell Peters

#67. Zach kissed her forehead. I'm not going to let anything like that happen to you again. You're going to live out your days as the cosseted and cherished wife of a chief deputy U.S. Marshal.

Pamela Clare

#68. I wonder if in 2050 there will be a movie called, 'Dude, Where's My Spaceship'

Zach Galifianakis

#69. People have always wondered what my opinion on Stevie Wonder is. I say if he's so great how come he can't see? I mean, God doesn't make mistakes, just look at me for example.

Zach Braff

#70. It's just people trying to get on TV, not like it's really going to do them any good since people can just watch me.

Zach Braff

#71. After all meat is meat. I don't understand why so many people are bithing about it. It's very healthy and contains lots of vitamins

Zach Braff

#72. There is one person I can think of better than me. And that's Zach Braff. What a cool guy.

Zach Braff

#73. It's a natural tendency of mine to not even listen to lyrics.

Zach Condon

#74. It's always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone's looking to me for guidance.

Zach Braff

#75. You know, sometimes if you work - if you do a lot of takes and you work long hours, for me, at least, there is a delirium that starts kicking in on the fifteenth hour, and that can help. Below the just thirteenth hour is where I have a concern, because everybody's so tired.

Zach Galifianakis

#76. Whenever I'm feeling a bit down, I always visit the local children's hospital. Knowing that those cancer-kids wont be able to live long enough to surpass me in fame just warms my heart, you know?

Zach Braff

#77. Look on the bright side; that's one bullet that's not going to hit me.

Zach Braff

#78. People ask me, 'Did the fame come too fast? Do you ever wish for your old life?' I always tell them that there's nothing on earth better than being famous.

Zach Braff

#79. I'm very flash and burn - the first thing that comes to mind is obviously the best idea, and that's because it should come out of a natural place, and if you don't do that then you're writing someone else's music, not your own.

Zach Condon

#80. It's not that I'm racist or anything, because I'm not, but I just don't think we should be wasting our time helping people that are going to die soon anyway.

Zach Braff

#81. I always liked the story of Noah's Ark and the idea of starting anew by rescuing the things you like and leaving the rest behind.

Zach Braff

#82. What makes you happy is seeing someone else smile because you put it there. That's what's awesome about living in this world.

Zach Sobiech

#83. It's a really fun hobby to set imagery to music, and finding the right songs for that. Your favorite song in the world might not work at all ... for one reason or another.

Zach Braff

#84. It's a give and take relationship with my fans. They give me love and adoration, and I take it from them.

Zach Braff

#85. Hurt but do not harm?" Zach asked. "What's the difference?"
"Hurt is a bruise on the outside." Nora sipped her mineral water delicately. "Harm is a bruise on the inside. If you're a masochist, pain feels like love to you. Not being hurt is what hurts.

Tiffany Reisz

#86. It used to be that you came out of school, and you got married - those who were going to get married. But my peers are getting married in their early 30s, so now there's like this extra 10 years of that angst.

Zach Braff

#87. Did you hear me, Zach? I care about you."
"Okay," I said. "It's okay with me that you care about me. But can we please not talk about it? Would that be okay with you?"
"Yeah, that would be okay," he said.

Benjamin Alire Saenz

#88. Gov. Romney says he's against same-sex marriage because every child deserves a mother and a father. I think every child deserves a family as loving and committed as mine. Mr. Romney my family is just as real as yours.

Zach Wahls

#89. Lark: You got a phone??? I love the selfie.
Zach: I did. I've joined the 21st Century.
Lark: Does this mean you'll send me a dick pic later?
Zach: Let's not get carried away.

Sarina Bowen

#90. These guys that take a shower, grab a cup of coffee, and go straight to the tee? That's not the way to do it. When you warm up, hit 20 to 25 wedges, a few middle irons, and 10 to 15 3-woods and drivers. If you're going to putt, give yourself 10 minutes.

Zach Johnson

#91. There is a beauty to touring - to be honest, there's a way that music connects and you really feel the actual reaction of people to the music that you're making, and I feel like if I didn't do that I just wouldn't know, and I don't think my music would be the same.

Zach Condon

#92. I love playing three, four times a week. That's what I've always wanted to do. In college we played Friday, Saturday, then had the whole week to think about it.

Zach Parise

#93. I love 'Scrubs.' It's the best day job in the world.

Zach Braff

#94. Zach is like the more I think about it the more I think y ruin a gr8 friendship? I still think tiny's awesome tho.

John Green

#95. I do not have a helmet. But this is a wig, so it's a little protective.

Zach Galifianakis

#96. There are a bunch of places to stay in Des Moines, but I'd suggest finding a place on the west side of town. It's a great urban area that has a lot to offer tourists.

Zach Johnson

#97. It's not that George Bush doesn't care about black people, god made hurricanes, not people who can't swim.

Zach Braff

#98. My dog has a cough. If you've never seen a dog with a cough, I recommend trying to find one. It's hilarious.

Zach Braff

#99. When I do stand-up for a long time, I'll get burned out, then I'll get an acting gig. For me, the grass is always greener. I'd like to do a mixture of all of it. My goal is just to do small movies that I've written. That's what I'm trying to do now, just write smaller movies.

Zach Galifianakis

#100. I never knew there were this many stars."
"I can't see them," he told me. "I just see you."
"That's one of your cheesier lines," I told him.
"It's the altitude," he told me. "I don't have enough oxygen in my brain."
"I see.

Ally Carter