Woollcott Quotes

#1. All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening

Alexander Woollcott

#2. He (Alexander Woollcott) always praises the first production of each season, being reluctant to stone the first cast.

Walter Winchell

#3. Today just might be the best day to start seriously thinking about quitting smoking ...

Alexander Woollcott

#4. A broker is a man who runs your fortune into a shoestring.

Alexander Woollcott

#5. I count it a high honor to belong to a profession in which the good men write every paragraph, every sentence, every line, as lovingly as any Addison or Steele, and do so in full regard that by tomorrow it will have been burned, or used, if at all, to line a shelf.

Alexander Woollcott

#6. Nothing risque, nothing gained.

Alexander Woollcott

#7. There's nothing wrong with Oscar Levant - nothing a miracle won't cure.

Alexander Woollcott

#8. Mrs. Patrick Cambell is an aged British battleship sinking rapidly and firing every available gun on her rescuers.

Alexander Woollcott

#9. It comes from the likes of you! Take what you can get! Grab the chances as they come along! Act in hallways! Sing in doorways! Dance in cellars!

Alexander Woollcott

#10. Reading Proust is like bathing in someone else's dirty water.

Alexander Woollcott

#11. Yeah, some kids called me fish lips because I had these really full lips. Now I'm sure all those same girls are getting collagen injections, so I'm having the last laugh.

Denise Richards

#12. Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening.

Alexander Woollcott

#13. God becomes man becomes fish becomes barnacle goose becomes featherbed mountain.

James Joyce

#14. To all things clergic I am allergic.

Alexander Woollcott

#15. I'm tired of hearing it said that democracy doesn't work. Of course it doesn't work. We are supposed to work it.

Alexander Woollcott

#16. The scenery in the play was beautiful, but the actors got in front of it.

Alexander Woollcott

#17. No, memory is true as long as you do not set it, as long as it is not enclosed in a form.

Italo Calvino

#18. There's absolutely nothing wrong with Oscar Levant that a miracle can't fix.

Alexander Woollcott

#19. There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day.

Alexander Woollcott

#20. Babies in silk hats playing with dynamite.

Alexander Woollcott

#21. A hick town is one where there is no place to go where you shouldn't go.

Alexander Woollcott

#22. The two oldest professions in the world - ruined by amateurs.

Alexander Woollcott

#23. Listen to everyone, read everything; believe absolutely nothing unless you can prove it in your own right!

Milton William Cooper

#24. At 83 Shaw's mind was perhaps not quite as good as it used to be, but it was still better than anyone else's.

Alexander Woollcott

#25. You haven't lived until you died in New York.

Alexander Woollcott

#26. Los Angeles is seven suburbs in search of a city.

Alexander Woollcott

#27. Germany was the cause of Hitler as much as Chicago is responsible for the Chicago Tribune.

Alexander Woollcott

#28. His huff arrived and he departed in it.

Alexander Woollcott

#29. Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.

Alexander Woollcott

#30. I must stress, basically, the very fact that we do have orangutan rehabilitation means that we have failed to do what is really important, and that is rescue the wild orangutan in its habitat.

Willie Smits

#31. The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm.

Alexander Woollcott