Witty Life Quotes

#1. Taking a single letter from the alphaber," he said, "should make life simpler."
"I don't see why. Take the F from life and you have lie. It's adding a letter to simple that makes it simpler. Taking a letter from hoarder makes it harder. - Author: James Thurber

#2. I wanted to play with death, like a child with a new toy, I wanted to push all the buttons and see what would happen. - Author: Holly Hood

#3. But life is not like that. You are not an airline. You can't remove a single olive from every salad served in first class and save one point two million dollars. - Author: Lynn Messina

#4. All my life I've wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought - Author: Robert Breault

#5. The guy's life drunk, I think, makes Candide look like a sourpuss. Does he even know that death exists? - Author: Jandy Nelson

#6. Abuse of any kind thrives off secrecy. I felt like if I started talking about it, maybe other people would. I wanted to break the silence. Now I feel I'm in a much better place emotionally than I've ever been anytime in my life. - Author: Chris Witty

#7. A man can be whip smart and witty and caught up in the gale of life, chatting up roomfuls of people and making them laugh till their teeth damn near fall out, and at the same time, he can be the world's loneliest, most miserable creature. - Author: Seth Grahame-Smith

#8. Is my life, by any chance, about to take a new turn? - Author: Jonas Jonasson

#9. The problem with a life spent reading is you know too much. - Author: Josh Lanyon

#10. Because of my mother, who gave me definitions, I knew what I was committed to in life ... I had the most satisfactory of childhoods because Mother, small, delicate-boned, witty, and articulate, turned out to be exactly my age. - Author: Kay Boyle

#11. Adele was in everybody's wish list, and her list of Romeos was nearly as long as the Yellow Pages. Some witty person had suggested that her family needed a system of traffic lights to avoid fatal crashes for the men in her life. - Author: Olga Nunez Miret

#12. To a literate reader, a crisp sentence, an arresting metaphor, a witty aside, an elegant turn of phrase are among life's greatest pleasures. And - Author: Steven Pinker

#13. Though you can live for as much as you like, but your longevity is stupidity if you were leading a worthless life. - Author: Michael Bassey Johnson

#14. A vivid portrait of a teenage girl and her family in disarray. Meredith is a wonderful narrator, witty, feisty, full of yearning, and the story she tells is as complicated as life itself. This is a richly satisfying novel. - Author: Margot Livesey

#15. Life is too fleet for onomatopoeia. - Author: Mervyn Peake

#16. Before the Internet, if someone disappeared, it meant you should go looking for them. Now it means they got a life. - Author: Ashish Chauhan

#17. My philosophy towards life is to enjoy it to the fullest and have fun. I am one of those 'laugh-out-loud' kinds. I am quirky, yet witty. - Author: Bipasha Basu

#18. Being a journalist is good if you want to write books: it teaches you to get beyond the blank screen. My books have been described as froth, but there's scope to be witty and ironic about everything in life. - Author: Sophie Kinsella

#19. When I need some striking inspiration about deep depression for my new painting, I just need to go to check my bank account ... - Author: Hiroko Sakai

#20. There is a thin line of difference in being courageous and foolish! - Author: Jasleen Kaur Gumber

#21. There is nothing as tragic as being alive and not enjoying life ... Life should be celebrated! - Author: Joyce Meyer

#22. Life is meaning less when you realized that you are about to die. Till then, everything negative however trifle they may be, depress you. - Author: Ankur Basu Roy

#23. I'm a Buddhist. You might have a Christian obligation to catch pneumonia while you sit for two and a half hours listening to some twerp in a dress drone on about the virtue of wedded life but, dear as you are to me, I don't. - Author: Natasha Pulley

#24. Letting Go: A Little Bit at a Time is filled with big ideas that just might change your life. Wise, witty, and important. - Author: Daniel Amen

#25. Life is a mysterious and witty intermingling of fate and events - Author: Alexandra Kosteniuk

#26. What matters most is that we learn from living. - Author: Doris Lessing

#27. When I die cremate me so I can finally fit into something small. - Author: Xondra Day

#28. Everyone has the right to run his own life- even if you're heading for a crash. What I'm against is blind flying. - Author: Mae West

#29. You like? she asked Slade. He gave her a head nod and she vanished behind the curtain.
That's my sister, he said, pointing at the closed curtain.
I shrugged. I'm glad you guys are so close. - Author: Holly Hood

#30. I have a headache. If only I had a crown to put on! - Author: Ljupka Cvetanova

#31. He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Author: Zsa Zsa Gabor

#32. Courtship is to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play.
(quoted in Life After Life) - Author: William Congreve

#33. The only sharks I'm afraid of are the ones that wear three-piece suits and write memos. - Author: Laurie Nadel

#34. When we reached the lobby outside the office, moving like a pair of power walkers
no running in the halls of Green Pastures because there was too much chance of knocking over one of the many ethereal, artistic types wandering around in hip glasses with the wrong prescription ... (39) - Author: Susan Juby

#35. I guess it's funny how life turns out?" she tried. "Not last I checked," Errol said with a snort. - Author: Daniel Handler

#36. The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life. Wit destroys eroticism and eroticism destroys wit, so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners. - Author: Florence King

#37. The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty. - Author: Dylan Moran

#38. The important thing to remember is not to forget - Author: Benny Bellamacina

#39. There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem. - Author: George Bernard Shaw

#40. Tsukuru nodded. Coming up with witty sayings about life seemed, after all, to be a trait shared by all Finns. The long winters might have something to do with it. - Author: Haruki Murakami

#41. He is not an ideal husband. I am his wife. - Author: Ljupka Cvetanova

#42. Art should be witty, like a good Eddie Murphy movie, to make your life a little easier and better. - Author: William Quigley

#43. I've been enjoying 'Life on the Mississippi' by Mark Twain that I picked up at the airport randomly. It's very witty and interesting to read about his time as a steamboat pilot. - Author: Roman Coppola

#44. You can look at a person's attitude and know what kind of thinking is prevalent in his life ... It's better to be positive and wrong than negative and right! - Author: Joyce Meyer

#45. The literal meaning of life is whatever you're doing that prevents you from killing yourself. - Author: Albert Camus

#46. I am attracted to intelligence, a witty sense of humor, an adventurous outlook on life and spiritual awareness about one's self and the world. - Author: Tanit Phoenix

#47. Style, not least, adds beauty to the world. To a literate reader, a crisp sentence, an arresting metaphor, a witty aside, an elegant turn of phrase are among life's greatest pleasures. - Author: Steven Pinker

#48. Experience was something it was difficult to avoid, though many people had managed to keep it to a minimum. - Author: Philip Jose Farmer

#49. Quote from In Love of Honey, Money....and My Virgin Passport

If you think you've the most wicked sense of humour, try life! - Author: Mita Jain

#50. The female characters in my books tend to be independent, frisky, spunky, witty, emotionally strong, erotically daring, spiritually oriented and intellectually generous; in short, the kind of women I admire in real life. - Author: Tom Robbins

#51. Deke: 'You know what I'm wonderin'?'
Malachi: 'No, and to tell the truth, I don't care'
Deke: 'I'm wonderin' how you've managed to live to the ripe old age of 36, when it's a known fact that you've been brain-dead since birth'

'Strength of will', was the flat reply - Author: Lynn Turner

#52. Oh yes! I have couple-goals too. I love to couple myself with- Books, Coffee and Mountains. - Author: Jasleen Kaur Gumber

#53. Our sweetest hopes rise blooming. And then again are gone, They bloom and fade alternate, And so it goes rolling on. I know it, and it troubles My life, my love, my rest, My heart is wise and witty, And it bleeds within my breast. - Author: Heinrich Heine

#54. People, at least a few like me, have this weird tendency of running away from things when they are their own, and racing after them obsessively when they are gone. - Author: Mita Jain

#55. My mother was a terrific force in my life. Wartime-generation woman, hadn't gone to university but should have done. Was very funny, very verbal, very clever, very witty. - Author: Ian Hislop

#56. Besides being witty and funny and maybe the best novel ever written, it's also the most perfect romance in all of literature and nothing in life can ever measure up, so I spend my life limping in its shadow. - Author: Shannon Hale

#57. Graham's life is as tense as an overstretched simile. - Author: Zane Stumpo