Welcome To Night Vale Sayings

#1. This is Night Vale. Our mayor once led an army of masked warriors from another dimension through magic doors to defeat an army of smiling blood-covered office workers. There is definitely, definitely another way.

Joseph Fink

#2. It's nice to have a station pet. Wish it wasn't trapped in a hovering prison in the men's bathroom, but listen: no pet is perfect. It becomes perfect when you learn to accept it for what it is.

Cecil Baldwin

#3. And now a brief public service announcement. Alligators: can they kill your children? Yes.

Cecil Baldwin

#4. Reports also indicate that the Night Vale Private Library will be entirely free of librarians, a fact that will be of little comfort to the many public library-goers who are injured or killed in librarian maulings every year.

Joseph Fink

#5. I wasn't cut out to be an opera singer, but it was a nice fantasy for a teenager growing up in Hungary during the Stalinist era.

Andy Grove

#6. Today Jackie was following the Troy who was a loan manager at the Last Bank of Night Vale ('We put our customers second, and our apocalyptic prophecies first!'). This Troy had very regular hours, not just at his work but in his life outside of work, and so he was especially easy to tail.

Joseph Fink

#7. To be remembered is, I think, a basic human right. Not one that occurs to a person when it is there, but like a parched throat in the desert when it is gone.

Joseph Fink

#8. I hate Mourinho. He's a fool.

Noel Gallagher

#9. Writing is like riding a bicycle: you don't forget how, even if you go for years without doing it.

Isabel Allende

#10. She had recently turned nineteen. She had been recently nineteen for as long as she could remember. The pawnshop had been hers for a long time, centuries maybe. Clocks and calendars don't work in Night Vale. Time itself doesn't work.

Joseph Fink

#11. What?' Diane was enjoying listening to Cecil. She loved the end of his show, when he said, 'Good night, Night Vale, good night.' No matter how difficult her life was or how troublesome the news he was reporting, his voice and his sign-off put her at such ease.

Joseph Fink

#12. Night Vale, my sweet and only Night Vale, may you find love. May you find it wherever it's been hidden. May you find who has been hiding it and extract revenge upon them.

Joseph Fink

#13. Most people in Night Vale get by with a cobbled-together framework of lies and assumptions and conspiracy theories. Diane was like most people. Most people are.

Joseph Fink

#14. Arsenal's width comes from wide areas

Jamie Redknapp

#15. Remember: if you see something, say nothing, and drink to forget.

Cecil Baldwin

#16. No one cared about a woman staring through binoculars from a parked car. It was a common sight. There were three other cars with binoculared, watching women just on that block, and that was light by Night Vale standards.

Joseph Fink

#17. You're a good one, Jackie Fierro," they said. "And that makes the world a dangerous place for you.

Joseph Fink

#18. Such are the foolish dreams of idealistic children who believe that anything can possibly get better over time.

Joseph Fink

#19. Perfection is not real. Perfection is not human. Carlos is not perfect- no, even better- he is imperfect. Everything about him, and us, and all of this is imperfect. And those imperfections in our reality are the seams and cracks into which our outsized love can seep and pool.

Cecil Baldwin

#20. To be remembered is, I think, a badic human right. Not one that occurs to a person when it is there, but like a parched throat in a desert when it is gone.

Joseph Fink

#21. Valentine's Day is a disaster. Any day that is designed to perfectly encapsulate something as messy and personal as two people in a romantic relationship would have to be. But in Night Vale it also kills people. This is called satire.

Joseph Fink

#22. Now deep in ocean sunk the lamp of light, And drew behind the cloudy vale of night.

Homer

#23. The present tense of regret is indecision.

Cecil Baldwin

#24. The sport I love has taken me around the world and shown me many things.

Bonnie Blair

#25. We understand the lights. We understand the lights above the Arby's. We understand so much. But the sky behind those lights, mostly void, partially stars, that sky reminds us: We don't understand even more.

Joseph Fink