Top 100 Watterson Quotes
#1. Bill Watterson argued with his medium even as he eclipsed it. He was all too aware that no artistic expression better exemplifies our disposable consumer culture than the daily newspaper comic strip: today's masterpiece is tomorrow's birdcage lining.
Anthony Marra
#2. Democrats in Louisville were led by Courier-Journal editor Henry Watterson and were implacably opposed to blacks voting.
Rand Paul
#3. Sometimes I think that the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. - BILL WATTERSON
Michio Kaku
#4. There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do. - BILL WATTERSON,
Timothy Ferriss
#7. I keep forgetting that rules are only for little nice people.
Bill Watterson
#8. What assurance do I have that your parenting isn't screwing me up?
Bill Watterson
#9. Garry Trudeau is the only cartoonist with the clout to get his strip published large enough to accomodate extended dialogue. It's ashame.
Bill Watterson
#10. CALVIN:
Our hero regains consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien.
Bill Watterson
#11. So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don't recommend it.
Bill Watterson
#12. It's a funny world, Hobbes."
"True."
"But it's not a hilarious world. ... unless you like sick humour."
"The world is probably funnier to people who don't live here.
Bill Watterson
#13. Every artist learns through imitation, but I rather doubt the aim of these things is artistic development. I assume they're either homages or satiric riffs, and are not intended to be taken too seriously as works in their own right. Otherwise I should be talking to a copyright lawyer.
Bill Watterson
#15. Dad: Honey, have you seen my glasses? I cant find them. Mom: I haven't seen them. Calvin: (with glasses, to Dad) Calvin, go do something you hate! Being miserable builds character!
Bill Watterson
#16. Having an enviable career is one thing. Being a happy person is another
Bill Watterson
#17. It must be hard to cook if you anthropomorphisize your vegetables.
Bill Watterson
#18. A playful mind is inquisitive, and learning is fun. If you indulge your natural curiosity and retain a sense of fun in new experience, I think you'll find it functions as a sort of shock absorber for the bumpy road ahead.
Bill Watterson
#19. Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! ... Although, in a pinch, a PBJ will do, if you eat it messily enough.
Bill Watterson
#20. I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.
-Calvin
Bill Watterson
#21. How come we play war and not peace?" "Too few role models.
Bill Watterson
#22. I cut out construction paper feathers and taped them on my arms so I can fly! Pretty neat, huh?
Bill Watterson
#23. If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again.
Bill Watterson
#25. We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.
Bill Watterson
#26. A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
Bill Watterson
#27. Reading goes faster if you don't sweat comprehension.
Bill Watterson
#28. Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?
Bill Watterson
#29. Hold it. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, and then the bears join up with the big bad wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Tell me a story like that, OK?
Bill Watterson
#30. If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.
Bill Watterson
#31. History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That's why events are always reinterpreted when values change. We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.
Bill Watterson
#32. I must follow the inscrutable exhortations of my soul.
Bill Watterson
#33. Calvin: Dad where do babies come from?
Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions.
Calvin: I came from Sears?
Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart - almost as good and a lot cheaper!
Bill Watterson
#34. The only permanent rule in Calvinball is that you can never play it the same way twice! (Calvin)
Bill Watterson
#35. If comics need to be deconstructed and explained, something is really wrong with them.
Bill Watterson
#36. The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.
Bill Watterson
#37. CALVIN:
When I grow up I want to be an inventor. First I will invent a time machine. Then I'll come back to yesterday and take myself to tomorrow and skip this dumb assignment.
Bill Watterson
#38. If you've ever compared a film to a novel it's based on, you know the novel gets bludgeoned. It's inevitable, because different media have different strengths and needs, and when you make a movie, the movie's needs get served.
Bill Watterson
#39. I'm crying because out there he's gone, but he's not gone inside me.
Bill Watterson
#40. I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point.
Bill Watterson
#41. People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
Bill Watterson
#42. The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!
Bill Watterson
#43. I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?
Bill Watterson
#44. Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.
Bill Watterson
#45. I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you're lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you're really lucky.
Bill Watterson
#46. Books are almost always better than the movies made from them, because there are things books do well and things movies do well, but usually those things don't overlap: the same with comics and animation.
Bill Watterson
#47. You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.
Bill Watterson
#48. Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ... and he's in prison ... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat.
Bill Watterson
#49. You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.
Bill Watterson
#50. Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor?
Bill Watterson
#51. What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?
Bill Watterson
#52. HOBBES:
All this modern technology just makes people try to do everything at once.
Bill Watterson
#53. I'm only civil because I don't know any swear words.
Bill Watterson
#54. Sleepwalking?"
"Nightmare?"
"Homicidal psycho jungle cat!
Bill Watterson
#55. Calvin: Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man? Hobbes: I'm not sure man needs the help.
Bill Watterson
#56. Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems.
Bill Watterson
#57. Calvin: I'm a genius. I can't believe how smart I am.
... I've got more brains than I know what to do with.
Hobbes: So I've noticed.
Bill Watterson
#58. They say the secret of success is being at the right place at the right time, but since you never know when the right time is going to be, I figure the trick is to find the right place and just hang around.
Bill Watterson
#59. Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine and valleys of frustration and failure.
Bill Watterson
#60. Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer ... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?
Bill Watterson
#61. It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
Bill Watterson
#62. Wake up, get up ... Shut up. Listen up ... Throw up ... Mix up, Goof up ... Hurry up ... "
"How's your day?"
"Looking up.
Bill Watterson
#63. The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
Bill Watterson
#65. Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a 'possum stuck in your collar?
Bill Watterson
#66. Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.
Bill Watterson
#67. I've been thinking Hobbes"
"On a weekend?"
"Well, it wasn't on purpose
Bill Watterson
#68. Instead of asking what's wrong with rampant consumerism, we ought to be asking, 'What justifies it?' Popular art does not have to pander to the lowest level of intelligence and taste.
Bill Watterson
#69. But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He's one of the old gods! He demands sacrifice!
Bill Watterson
#70. That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.
Bill Watterson
#71. The more words you have at your disposal, the more precisely you can express yourself.
Bill Watterson
#73. Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
Bill Watterson
#74. Miss Wormwood: Calvin, your test was an absolute disgrace! It's obvious you haven't read any of the material. Our first president was not Chef Boy-Ar-Dee and you ought to be ashamed to have turned in such preposterous answers!
Calvin: I just don't test well.
Bill Watterson
#75. If people looked at the stars each night, they'd live a lot differently. When you look into infinity, you realize that there are more important things than what people do all day.
Bill Watterson
#76. If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.
Bill Watterson
#78. It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.
Bill Watterson
#79. Animation, by necessity, is a team sport, and the fewer people with input into my work, the better I like it.
Bill Watterson
#80. Selling out is usually more a matter of buying in. Sell out, and you're really buying into someone else's system of values, rules, and rewards.
Bill Watterson
#82. The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse
Bill Watterson
#83. I've always tried to make the strip animated, even when the characters aren't moving, with expressions or perspectives or some sort of exaggeration. There's great potential for that which has yet to be fully mined.
Bill Watterson
#84. Every day of my life I have to add another name to the list of people who p*ss me off
Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes
Bill Watterson
#85. Calvin: Dear Santa, before I submit life to your scrutiny, I demand to know who made YOU the matter of my fate?! Who are YOU to question my behavior, HUH??? What gives you the right?!
Hobbes: Santa makes the toys, so he gets to decide who to give them to.
Calvin: Oh.
Bill Watterson
#88. As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.
Bill Watterson
#89. I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal.
Bill Watterson
#90. Every time I've built character, I've regretted it.
Bill Watterson
#91. You never know when some crazed rodent with cold feet could be running loose in your pants.
Bill Watterson
#92. I learned about what I love. Imagination, deep friendship, animals, family, the natural world, ideas and ideals ... and silliness.
Bill Watterson
#93. Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one.
Bill Watterson
#94. In a comic strip, you can suggest motion and time, but it's very crude compared to what an animator can do. I have a real awe for good animation.
Bill Watterson
#96. Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.
Bill Watterson
#97. I'm pulling out different aspects of my personality in writing each character and, if I'm doing my job well, I'm being true to the situation and true to the character.
Bill Watterson
#98. Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.
Bill Watterson
#99. The way Calvin's brain is wired you can almost hear the fuses blowing.
Bill Watterson
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