Top 49 Victor Borge Quotes

#1. A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #182014
#2. Flint must be an extremely wealthy town: I see that each of you bought two or three seats.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #189134
#3. I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #234381
#4. You want something by Bach? Which one, Johann Sebastian or Jacques Offen?

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #318087
#5. When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza ... I hate Liebestraum.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #332303
#6. In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #455307
#7. If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #469077
#8. Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #496856
#9. It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #498732
#10. I do not have a single white note on my piano; my elephant smoked too much.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #538376
#11. When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #591675
#12. Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #623161
#13. I'd like to thank my parents for making this night possible. And my children for making it necessary.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #642694
#14. Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye ... and that's my reward ... the rest goes to the government.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #653967
#15. Beethoven wrote in three flats a lot. That's because he moved twice.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #655771
#16. The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #678357
#17. I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #697275
#18. I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #759818
#19. (Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #841704
#20. There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #880293
#21. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #924858
#22. I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1024146
#23. That's why I've never thought of retiring because I do it all the time whether on the stage or off. I found that in a precarious situation, a smile is the shortest distance between people. When one needs to reach out for sympathy or a link with people, what better way is there?

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1029670
#24. I learned to play the piano on my mother's knee - that was before we got a piano.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1057742
#25. You may not be aware of this but Leonard Bernstein won another award, for explaining the music of Igor Stravinsky ... to Igor Stravinsky!

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1063369
#26. Read (this book), smile, enjoy, and if you happen to learn something along the way, don't get upset.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1124813
#27. He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1135839
#28. There is a bit of Hans Christian Andersen in every Dane.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1155577
#29. The elephant smoked too much.(explaining why the keys of his piano were so yellow)

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1163656
#30. What is the difference between a Nazi and a dog?The Nazi lifts his arm.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1180780
#31. (Shortly after Germany forced Denmark to sign a non-aggression pact in 1939) How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1260451
#32. The elephant smoked too much.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1260614
#33. The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1345961
#34. I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1350108
#35. The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1464693
#36. One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1487002
#37. Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1560981
#38. My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1575636
#39. They say that Nero started the fire himself because he needed a suitable backdrop for his concert.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1630963
#40. Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1632267
#41. And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1634171
#42. (Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1651654
#43. Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1686206
#44. Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1822035
#45. Laughter is the closest distance between two people.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1826843
#46. The first piano was built long after they didn't have any at all.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1836418
#47. In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist
but I found I had nothing to say.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1848300
#48. Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1857598
#49. Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.

Victor Borge

Victor Borge Quotes #1870217

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