Unintentional Humor Quotes

#1. You shouldn't ask questions when you know at heart you'd prefer not to hear the answers.

Julie Anne Long

#2. I'm sorry, anal sex," Beavers continued, embarrassed by her slip of the tongue.

Dale Carpenter

#3. Remember the Wizard Archer's drill arrows that rescued the entombed miners? Well, we're drilling holes in your swiss cheese building to rescue you from a costly boner!

Robert Bernstein

#4. Japan's experience suggests the importance of assessing the sustainability of price stability over a fairly long period, which many central banks have emphasized in recent years.

Toshihiko Fukui

#5. And often Lisa thought bitterly of the ideas she had held on "college life" before coming to Denton, ideas and images culled from a hundred magazine stories and as many movies. Where were the convertibles, the secret bottles of liquor, the gay young men and their wild girl friends?

Grace Metalious

#6. I'm the kind of person you want to kill.

Jodi Picoult

#7. ObamaCare is, really, I think the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery - and it is slavery, in a way, because it is making all of us subservient to the government. It was never about health care; it was about control.

Ben Carson

#8. The erosion of equal opportunity is among the greatest threats to our exceptionalism as a nation. But it also provides us with an exciting and historic opportunity: to help more people than ever achieve the American Dream.

Marco Rubio

#9. If Congress doesn't raise taxes, you cannot get a private investment account without forgoing a portion, possibly all, of your guaranteed benefit check.

Grace Napolitano

#10. I like old people when they have aged well. And old houses with an accumulation of sweet honest living in them are good. And the timelessness that only the passing of Time itself can give to objects both inside and outside the spirit is a continuing reassurance.

M.F.K. Fisher

#11. Water liked to be free. Given time, water could overcome any barrier, and it hated to be trapped, just like Percy.

Rick Riordan

#12. Let me tell you something, I have never stated this, but you idiots refer to me as some moroon, I have a aster and a lwa degree. I simply cannot take the bar because of my stupid past in my 20's. You people do not want to go up against m on education because most of you will lose badly.

Larry Sinclair

#13. A friendliness, as of dwarfs shaking hands, was in the air...

E. M. Forster

#14. When I went into the seminary, I was one of those victims of New Math and had not had Algebra I and had no idea what we were doing in New Math in the ninth grade. But when I went into the seminary, they had gone the traditional route and taught first-year algebra.

Clarence Thomas