Uncle Mort Quotes

#1. Children must be taught obedience just as much as they need to be taught to read and write.

Billy Graham

#2. We were just showering," Lex muttered.
"Of course," Uncle Mort said. "Everyone knows how impossible it is to zestfully clean without assistance.

Gina Damico

#3. Instruct thyself for time and patience favor all.

Pythagoras

#4. Do something!" Norwood told him.
"Do what?" Uncle Mort's face was furious. "Fly up there and get it? You bring your broomstick, Hel?

Gina Damico

#5. I was a teenage boy once too, you know," Uncle Mort said, popping back up. "I know what your brain looks like. It's a three-ring circus in there.

Gina Damico

#6. And what in the name of all this is disturbing did you mean when you said you're going to teach me how to Kill people?"
He snickered. "You didn't really think you were going to spend the whole summer milking cows, did you?

Gina Damico

#7. He was going to die. He could see the headlines now. Naked Runt Suffocated by a Sleeping Giant.

S.J.D. Peterson

#8. Uncle Mort to Lex and Driggs: And if I hear any article of clothing being unzipped, unstrapped, unhooked, or unbuckled, you will lose the body part that it corresponds to. Understand?

Gina Damico

#9. Could just feed 'im to the dogs, Prez," Bucket drawled. "Wouldn't have to feed 'em for a whole fuckin' month after that."
Dirty rolled his eyes. Bucket was full of shit; the club didn't have any dogs.

Madeline Sheehan

#10. It takes a traveler, not a tourist, to search for something deeper. Travelers want to find the wavelength on which they and the city connect.

David Levithan

#11. Lex was about to ask what in the dickens that was supposed to mean, but then Uncle Mort nodded at Wicket in a secretive manner, which roughly translated as 'Screw you and your curiosities, Lex. We're telling you NOTHING.

Gina Damico

#12. When you live for yourself you are merely surviving; when you live for others you are really living.

Debasish Mridha

#13. The-what? You went over my head?"
"It wasn't easy, I assure you," said Uncle Mort, shifting the car into gear. "That thing gets bigger every day.

Gina Damico

#14. I like seeing comedians do stuff that I could never do.

Josh Thomas

#15. Vegetables are something God invented to let women get even with their children.

P. J. O'Rourke

#16. There he is!" Ferbus drunkenly shouted as Uncle Mort and Lex returned to the car with the food, sloshing his Yorick all over Driggs. "Captain Sandwich and the Condiment Kid!

Gina Damico

#17. Mental toughness is an element in the make up of perseverance.

Manuela George-Izunwa

#18. To acquire possession of Latium was of the most decisive importance to Etruria, which was separated by the Latins alone from the Volscian towns that were dependent on it and from its possessions in Campania.

Theodor Mommsen

#19. I carry a strong anti-drug message, and it's important young people especially hear a "real" story about addiction and how it affects not only the addict but also the people who love him/her, rather than "just say no."

Ellen Hopkins

#20. I have learned that I am enough ... I have learned that no one else can LOVE ME - FOR ME.

Sabrina Ward Harrison